Hi there. This seems to be the appropriate place for this, so i'll spill all my crap on you guys.

A long story short, i'm depressed. A few years back i used to see a psychologist (or is it psychiatrist? Same difference) who said that i'm comparable to most comedians - on the outside, they're funny guys. Everyone likes them, they make people laugh. On the inside, they're morbidly depressed, hate themselves and want to curl up in a corner with a bottle of whisky and pretend they don't exist.

This much is probably true. And now i've reached a dead end in my life. I'm fed up with life, but refuse to an hero on the principle that i know something can be done with my life. I just don't know what.

I work at McDonalds. Every day i come home to an empty house. Most of my free time is spent in front of the computer, or busy excercising, or walking through the suburbs to keep myself occupied. I chain smoke for laughs, self destruction and such. Once a week, me and my single friend that i have go out, and i drink heavily. I have no future, as i buggered up at school. Completely failed it, have no hope of going to college, never mind university.

And so my options right now are as follows:

1) Carry on with my menial existence as it is. You never know, something might come up.

2) Just say bugger it to my stupid philosophy of 'i can still do something with my life', and drink myself into oblivion before finally killing myself.

3) Just say bugger it to my current menial existence, and buy some plane tickets back to Britain, where i'm originally from. Sign up to the army and get sent to Afghanistan as cannon fodder.

What would you do?

There are alot of threads here that deal with the same thing, well sort of. i suggest doing 1 - 2, like you said "you never know".

goodluck, you are not alone in this.

Well, you must be depressed because your life sucks. I'll tell you a bit about me. I'm a college student, have a lot of friends, a boyfriend, and for fun I play around on my computer, watch anime, hang out with friends, bike ride, do yoga, and I read a lot of books. My life used to suck because I hated people, hated my job, thought I was wasting the resouces of the earth because of my existance. So I've been where you are. Sounds like you are just on a roller coaster of disaster, and there is no exit.

You should probably just start somewhere, like with school. You fucked up? hahahhahah, oh my college career is a series of fuck ups, like right now I have an essay that is five days overdue and I did badly on the midterms, but for some reason I pull through. This June I will be getting a bachlors degree even with the way I blunder. Start with getting a GE certificate and then get into Community College, trust me, they accept anyone. Community college is easy and you can make friends there and better your life.

The most important thing to remember is your life is what you make of it. Your life sucks because you make it suck.

"Your life sucks because you make it suck."

I know this actually. I realised it quite a long time ago.

You get depressed. You listen to depressing music because it's in tone with your mood. You get more depressed. A downward spiral. Then after a while you think 'sod it, this is stupid'. Turn on some music that always makes you happy, and there you go, problem solved. You just had to put yourself in the right mindset.

Also, this is the OP. I broke out of my depressive cycle by doing precisely that, putting myself in the right mindset. I'm incredibly happy right now, because things in life are looking up. Turns out option 1, as ever, was the right option, with a bit of option 2 thrown in for fun.

Now though it's just a question of how long until i come down with the blues again, and just how hard i'll crash this time.

Easy. Drop the alcohol. Start ketamine.

If you can't get any special K, try dextromethorphan.

Move to Amsterdam and take up smoking weed instead of drinking alcohol. You'll be much happier.

And, uh, don't take up dextromethorphan.

The answer is right in front of you. Become a clown. Problem solved.

You can always get into college--community college. A lot of state universities reserve a high percentage of their transfer slots for students from local community colleges. Some even guarantee admission to students with an AA from a local community college. And community college has to admit you, that's sort of the point.