Every story has two sides and if I'm the only person speaking I'm afraid people will be biased toward me because of my experiences and for that I'm sorry. Anyway, 2 years ago I had a wonderful job, I managed a bookstore and I loved every day. I would have lived my whole life there surrounded by books, it would have been a glorious existence, I would die happy. But the owner sold the store and the new owner got rid of everyone and brought in his own family members.
I decided to go to school. I figured my life would be better if I were in better charge of it. With a completed education I could work somewhere less at the mercy at someone else. Least that was the plan. My parents promised to help, they are wealthy and they worried that with my poor health (it's not that bad, I don't want to exaggerate it but you know how parents can be) I wouldn't be able to work and attend school.
They decided to pay for a place for me to stay, it was high rent but I would have a private room to study and it's very close to campus. I wouldn't need to worry.
They broke their promise almost immediately and I ended up in a contract that was very expensive and on the budget I had I couldn't attend school and work for the rent. I took 2 jobs to complete that semester, I got poor grades but I passed. Since then I've made little money but stayed in school, sometimes being late on my rent which is bad I know.
In January this year I found a job across town that paid almost three times as much as I made but I could only get to by car. The hr manager was an aquaintance and he already told me I would get the job but needed to secure a seat since they were only going to hire a few people and I needed to be there soon. I'd already sold my car because I couldn't afford it so I asked for help from my parents, a simple thing. I asked for a ride.
My mother came over and lectured and yelled at me for half an hour about how I couldn't leave the job I was at (a grocery store checker) to chase after some new job across town that I would need a car for. I called my aunt for help, she wouldn't come and told me to talk to my parents. I called my grandparents but they were out of town, my brother was off at work. I tried to walk I was so mad but realized very fast how impossible that would be. The next day I tried calling them again but I'd already lost that job opportunity and had to remain a grocery store checker.
4 months later I heard about a company needing people for tech support but their training started soon and they needed people to come immediately. Almost the same situation as before but not as much money as the first place offered. I called my aunt for a ride, she told me to ask my parents. I called my grandparents, as old as they are, and asked for a ride. My parents showed up.
My mother refused to take me to the interview. I found a bus went by close so I got on there and rode to the interview myself. It took 2 hours to get there walking and all that. When I arrived the manager said, I'm sorry we gave out our last seat an hour ago. We have no more room for training, we'll hold another training session in July.
By then my classes were finished for summer and I'd already quit my checker job because I'd ended up going to the emergency room twice and collapsing 3 other times at work. I've now been diagnosed with diabetes and my doctor told me I needed a job where I could sit and not have to stand for hours and that I needed to eat regularly at work, something I couldn't do as a checker.
With no job at the time I decided to finish the book I started when I was 18 years old but never finished. What better opportunity and even if it's a failure you only live once I said to myself. In July I arranged to get to the tech support job by bus again. After an interview where they agreed to hire me they asked what transportation I had to work, I said I went by bus. They answered that they couldn't hire me because the positions open were only for nights and weekends but they would be doing another round of hiring in August (now). Since I never before had credit buying a car was out of the question.
I asked for assistance from a local non profit job agency. They set me up with leads and contacts. I found a teaching job (I'm in school to be a teacher) hiring assistant teachers in a town nearby. You'll hate me for this I know but there were no buses nearby, none. I called my parents for a ride.
Same old story. My mother lectures me on the phone for almost an hour about how I should never have quit that grocery clerk job. I ended up taking a bus for an hour and walking for over 2 1/2 hours to talk to them about the position. After a 7 hour trek there and back it became obvious that regardless of how I felt about it taking the job was unfeasible. I politely turned them down.
My landlord is throwing me out of this apartment in a week, it's my fault, I haven't paid since May and I don't blame them. I informed my parents that I would be moving. I have no money and I know they know that. I asked my girlfriend for help, she's paying for my first month's rent and a deposit but she doesn't have much herself and I can't overburden her.
School starts next week, I'm afraid I can't attend this year, too many problems to work out. I went in today to get an interview and this time they offered me the job. It starts on the 18th and I can come to work by bus.
My parents just called, they had a list of homeless shelters for me to live at and tried giving me a number for a food bank. Keep in mind that my parents are wealthy and I have other family here as well. My mother lectured me about how everything is my fault and if I had only listened to her 6 years ago (when I was in school earlier, that's another story) I wouldn't be in this mess. She demands that I refuse help from my girlfriend and told me that I need to learn to live the consequences of my actions.
I'm not a young guy anymore and I don't know what more they want. I now have to quit school over this, the work resources place made me look and feel very stupid when they started helping me get loans and scholarships which they said I should have had from the beginning but in the 2 weeks I've worked with them I haven't finished the application process and I'm afraid it won't be ready in time. I owe a lot for rent though and I need to pay my girlfriend back. I'll need to skip another year of school before this is done.
I guess I just need to vent and look for sympathy, hopefully my life will improve with this new job, I copy and pasted all this in Notepad and pasted it back here if you're wondering how I wrote this all so fast. I don't want you to think it's copy pasta.
You've been through more than most people experience in a lifetime. Don't worry, if you've made it this far, you'll easily be able to hang on long enough for your life to get back in order.
Youre the idiot turning down job offers, i have no sympathy for you. Stop being such a spoiled brat, bravo to your mom for not letting you suckle her tit any longer.
Kill your parents.
>9 What do you think I should have done differently?
I know I could have kept my job at the grocery but I'm new to this diabetes thing, when the doctor told me I should find different work I took it literally and quit.
My biggest confusion is what my parents expect of me, they won't answer when I approach them directly.
Dude, get a car, get an old piece of shit car, or a scooter. I think you have tried your best to get a decent life, and you have just had bad luck. Your mom is a real piece of work when she can't even give you a ride. But yeah, work your ass off at some low end jobs, pay for a car in cash and get the job across town. Don't trust your mother, she won't do anything for you. Have you ever tried talking to your dad?
Yeah, I tried talking to my dad, he just goes along with my mother. I wanted to update this.
I finally sat her down and after a fight we had and asked her "what do you want of me?" she started sobbing and said. "I want you to go to school!"
"Mom, I'm in school. I've been back in school for almost 2 years"
"But it's the wrong school!"
An explanation perhaps. 8 years ago I finished highschool. During my last year my mother expected me to apply for a christian private school her brothers (my uncles of course) went to and where my grandfather once taught. I didn't want to go back east for school, I wanted to stay in Cali. She complained that she had already paid the application fee and expected me to at least apply, I didn't get in thank God.
I spent 2 years at a Jr college back home. Got almost straight A's. Based on my ACT and grades at college I sat down with a counselor for the University of California system, it was always my dream to go to UC Berkley. He said based on my grades he could promise that I could go to any UC campus I wanted. I was so excited I told my parents I was applying to Berkley.
My mother sat me down and said that they couldn't pay for me to attend Berkley but if I went to this private christian school they would pay my whole way through school. It took me 2 weeks to decide. I agreed that if they would pay I would go to this private school. I applied and got accepted of course. My mother couldn't wait for me to graduate she bought a plane ticket before the semester was done and got my aunt to find me an apartment.
I refused to go until I was finished, it was my last 2 months and I would get my associates degree. My mother didn't care, she said I was already accepted and could just take those classes again. When I refused she contacted the school and had them test me out of my final classes to graduate, I did and she sent me out here that week. I never even got to walk for my graduation, I was the first person of all my brothers and all my cousins to get a college degree and I couldn't even walk.
My first semester I paid for myself from money I earned while living at home, they expected to do that much for myself they said. It was expensive. That summer my mother expected me to take classes, saying I needed to finish school as soon as I could. I signed up for some classes and when summer came I called my parents to let them know how much summer would cost.
"I'm not paying for you to go to school" she said. "Why did you think I was paying? It's your responsibility"
Excuse me? What the hell? Maybe because you promised if I came out to this school you would? I quit school to get work, arranged with my twin brother in San Jose to put me up and live at his place while he toured the country for some months. Two weeks before I was supposed to leave I called my twin to arrange my arrival and he said "I thought you were staying out there, mom told me you were taking classes and couldn't make it." I told him I'd already quit my job and was on my way in two weeks. "but mom told me you were staying so I sold my apartment. If you come here don't have a place to stay."
I called my mother and she said. "You need to be in school, you can't leave now, you just started." I explained that I had no money to go to school (hint hint) and there was no way. She yelled and complained and said that I needed to apply for a grant for school. So I did, what was the use? I was stuck there. School started and no reply from the government so I didn't register for classes, my mother promised that I would get the grant, that's what they're there for and to take out a short term loan with the school. So I took out the loan, a month into the semester I get a letter from FAFSA, my grant application was rejected since I was under 24 years old and my parents made too much money.
My mother yelled that it was my fault, since I didn't apply for a grant until July. I explained that in July I was on my way to California. My mother insisted it was my fault and my family wouldn't help me pay so I ended up getting collections agencies knocking on my door. I quit school the next semester and went to work at a video store. My mother screamed bloody murder that I couldn't quit school, how dare I? What was wrong with me? It was all my fault for not listening to her in the first place.
I went from job to job for years. Some I liked, some I didn't. I had a car, an apartment, paid for myself. During that time the girl I was in love with tried to kill herself, my romantic life sucks too you see
http://4-ch.net/love/kareha.pl/1220247663/l50
that's me venting about it. I called her my girlfriend earlier in this thread but that wasn't true. I know she never considered me that.
2 years ago I started school again, went to a community college here in the area. Been getting A's and B's and I can afford it. So my parents were concerned because I passed out a few times (now that I know, it was early signs of diabetes) so my mother promised that since I was going back to school they would pay for an apartment. They were worried that I would get worse, they paid for the apartment for 2 months and quit. I was left with monthly rent bills I couldn't possibly pay.
I feel a little better writing this. Sorry you had to read it.
Oh, I forgot the reason I continued this this morning. I never got called back about that job as a tech support. Would've been $14 an our, decent pay out here. I tried contacting them but the receptionist is all I could get and wouldn't tell me anything other than wait for a call.
I waited, I waited, nothing came. The day training would have started, nothing.
So I got a call from my grandmother on Thursday last week. "Oh I forgot, you got a call about that job you wanted 2 weeks ago. We didn't remember to tell you."
I'd given them my grandparents number because I was forced to move out that week.
I'm sick of this shit, I'm sick of this shit, I'm sick of this SHIT.
You're better off than I am, so I don't know what to tell you, but here's a start: if one door closes another one opens. Or it's a window, something like that. If you feel better for writing, then more power to you.
And yea, that sucks your grandparents screwed you over, but they gave you wealthy parents. Let it go.
>>18
What did you go through? I thought I had it bad but yeah, I know a guy that lives nearby who has it much worse than me, at least I have a place to live and friends who care about me, they just threw him on the street.
Dude, never depend on your family ever again. They sound like assholes.
Hi, it sounds like everything would be fine if it wasn't for little glitches. Also life there sounds way too complicated. In Europe much of this could have never happened but then again maybe other problems could.
Anyway I can hardly believe that your mother would give you list of homeless shelters in that situation. Are you serious? If my mother did that I would never talk to her again, probably I would also give keys to some shady guy so he can rob her.
Anyway, avoid college, it sounds like too much trouble for nothing. You can get decent paying jobs without a degree too. Also as an American you can easily become an English teacher abroad without any degree, it doesn't pay high maybe but you can travel!
If you're tired of all this shit it's best to change your lifestyle.
How do I start a new lifestyle with $80? I can't buy a cellular phone and last week they cut off the phone here in the apartment citing a $400 bill we owe. We don't know what that's about but they're trying to work it out, so for now no phone of any kind.
My roommate complained to his dad (he owns the building) and they're letting me stay without paying rent but I don't know how long I can keep this up. It's over $1800 now I owe and I'm gainfully unemployed.
Public transportation here is horrible. The whole US expects you to buy a car or die. Wish I hadn't sold my car but I did it to pay rent. Now I've got nothing. Those guys down at the employment office are awesome, they're my salvation right now.
Dude, fuck your family, they don't sound like they're worth any effort at all. My grandparents did this to their least favorite children, and it took them decades to pay off the debt from college.
You have $80, and means of getting some employment, right? Save as much as you can, go hungry if you have to... Call around, surely you know somebody out east? I only know about NYC and Chicago, and they have really great public transport, and apparently a lot of the east coast does as well. If you can find someone to stay with for a month, you can find some type of employment or another, and you should be able to get some money together. If not, you are doing it wrong.
Look, dude, I realize that your parents obviously fucked up a huge amount, and the effects are still obviously there. but it's time to grow up. The west coast can't be that different from the east. You're obviously missing something if you're a high school graduate with excellent grades and you can't get a job anywhere within an hour from where you are. Also, dude... Get a fucking bike, if you can't get your act together to get a car. Can't afford one? Steal one, it's easy. Better yet, steal one from your family. And get the hell off of 4-ch. Go work.
You are in a desperate situation. You exist to sustain yourself and advance. You can't trust anyone, even your family, for anything. Work. Steal if you have to. Beg if you have to. But please, get off of the net, and get out into real life.
Yeah, #23 is right. Your family fucked you over, big time. I say do whatever you have to in order to get by. It sounds like you got a lot of potential, but you also got a lot of bad luck. Keep at it , do what you can and once you get back on your feet disown your family. Don't let your parents see your (future) children. They did not acknowledge you as their child why should you acknowledge them as your parents?
OP
Sounds like to me you have a couple real pieces of shit for parents. Follow this multi-step plan for success in your new life.
1) I would be doing some snatch and grab from your parents' house and heading off to a pawn store to get some money to work with. Focus on high end smaller stuff. Wedding Rings, jewelry, power tools and guns. Cash if they have it there. If you can get your bitch mother's PIN number, clean out bank account. Hire some bum while wearing a hat or mask when using the ATM machine. Give him $100 for his trouble.
Next thing, I would be getting a paid for cell phone. No contracts and hard to trace too.
Next, you have to solve the car problem. A beater might cost you a grand and after some pillaging at your parents' house, getting that..or a motor scooter. I would suggest a car because you can sleep in that if need be.
Move it with your girlfriend and clean her house and do whatever to stay there. Pay half the rent.
I would not worry about school. You need money and build it fast. I would work 2 jobs and stagger the hours. You do not want to burn yourself out over 18 hour days. Work 8 to 10 hour days and get a few days off and work the other job. Do the same thing. Skip eating out.
Also, stay in shape. Do not get fat or unhealthy more than you already are.
Finally, consider killing your parents if you can get away with it. You might get a paltry sum from their will, assuming you are in there. But since the bitch gave you a list of homeless shelters and food banks, I would assume not.
Kill them anyway...you'll feel better.
I love you guys. You make me feel better.
My parents had me over for dinner Sunday, I'm always good for a free meal, and talked about how they set up a new a trust fund for the family. They made a point of showing it off to me all the laws behind it and shit. They pointed this out because I'm cut from the trust fund. I don't mind much since my parents will live another 20 years but they said since I'm not married and in school (lol what?) I won't be getting anything from them when they die.
OP, your family seems to have damaged you in so many ways. Cut them off completely. Don't just burn the bridge, tear the fucker down, poison the river, defoliate the banks and landmine the shores. Never make contact with them again. After that kind of treatment, they deserve to never see you again.
Ever.
Don't even go to any funerals.
Also, I can't agree with any the suggestions of criminal activity; getting V& will NOT improve your life.
Well if you want to leave everything behind go to the airport, bum around for a few days if necessary, and try to get a last minute ticket to whereever, there you will get a decent paying job as an English teacher, nothing required only the American passport, I mean some place with rapidly growing population and high need for english as a foreign language, private schools kill for native teachers, sometimes even an apartment is included and food at the school canteen.
It's more interesting a life anyway than stressing out and getting in deep debt to get a degree every fool with better parents can get. This way the landlord will never find you and you dont have to pay back, also in some places overworking yourself is not the national dream...
>They made a point of showing it off to me all the laws behind it and shit. They pointed this out because I'm cut from the trust fund. I don't mind much since my parents will live another 20 years but they said since I'm not married and in school (lol what?) I won't be getting anything from them when they die.
HHOOOOooooooly shit. That's just over the goddamned top.
Get whatever you can from them and leave them the hell alone. They not only hate you, they are actively sabotaging everything you have and do to get ahead. Fuck them. They aren't worth the 25 cents of basic elements they're composed of.
Can you still do something like joining the Job Corps? (you must be under 25)
Rich people are great!
I finally got from my mother why they stopped paying rent 2 years ago. I told her I was having trouble with being in school because rent was so expensive last year and I incurred debt that I have to get out of. She insisted it was my fault.
I didn't chose where I live mom, that was you, you promised you'd pay if I moved there. She insists no such thing happened, she "doesn't remember". Your sister found the place, your sister was the one that put me here. Suddenly she remembers. "Oh but you bought that TV."
Excuse me? What?
"You bought that TV, I came over and you had a new TV (It's 5 years old) and people in school shouldn't be watching TV so I didn't think we should be paying your rent if you were out buying TVs."
That would have been nice for you to tell me 2 YEARS AGO! Maybe we could have worked something out. It's all about control, my mother expects things of me and when I don't fall under her control she throws money around or the promise of money to get what she wants. But she doesn't understand what it costs to stay in school so she makes shit up and expects me to accomplish things according to her scewed reality.
Now they're insisting that they pay for my school next semester if I promise to graduate from this private school. My father's in on this and I'm actually thinking that if I get the money upfront I would go. It's a better school than the public school I've been at and graduating would improve my life immensely.
It's a torturous proposition and I keep thinking that if I go my mother somehow wins. I'm over 26 btw so it shouldn't be too hard to get government loans so I'm pretty sure I don't need it anyway. Maybe pocket it to buy porn but I can't figure how.
Oh, my friend gave me a free car, he said he'd either give it away or he'd donate it to the kidney foundation. Phone's still offline though.