friends with an ex (25)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-16 21:35 ID:IwfgQK9Q

is it possible?
i was in a relationship with this girl for around 10 months, and then we had a really bad break. lots of bad shit went on between us, and we stopped talking for all of summer (broke up right before summer started. summer is now coming to an end) and i just decided to unblock her on aim and all that and we're talking again.

I dont know wether or not giving a second chance at friendship is really worth it. plus, i think she's either trying to get on my nerves, or trying to make me jelous because now she wont shut up about all these sexual things she's done since we broke up >.> you think she's trying to make me jelous?

2 Name: 43 : 2008-08-16 21:57 ID:nsYd0Mjk

>you think she's trying to make me jelous?

yes

how old are you guys?

I wouldn't try friendship until after a long time has passed (a year or so). Just to make sure all feeling have died and you can start over.

3 Name: bingo : 2008-08-17 00:31 ID:8kodbBs5

You can be friends with an ex if you both have respect for each other and wish to keep in contact with them. This sounds like a friend you don't want to have. It would be best to keep out of contact with her, recover, and take care of yourself and the friendships you already have. It is best to see her and in your past.

4 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-17 19:56 ID:IwfgQK9Q

yea, now i know for certain she's trying to make me jelous >.>
now whenever she tells me about things her and her bf are gonna do or have done it gets increasingly sexual. like last night she was like
her: "omg, i'm so excited! (bf's name) is coming over at 1am. my parents wouldnt like it so he's gonna have to sneak in"

me: "nice haha, suck if he got caught since your mom is p-s-y-c-h-o"

her: "yea, like if they found out all the things (bf's name) and i have done i'd be in such huge trouble!"

me: "nice"

her: "yea, like a few nights ago he started fingering me in the movie theater, and then we got kicked out of a restaurant because one of the waiters saw his hand up my shirt while we were making out"

me: "cool"

her: "yea, it was so fun xD"

me: "sounds like a blast"

i try to be nice at first, but then i just get annoied when that happens >.> she'll go into a lot more detail than that usually.

and then she starts to get increasingly sexual with me. she starts saying how she sometimes missed the way i "please" her (after dating for 10 months, you know what she likes) and how she wishes (bf's name) would be able to do that. at one point i could tell she was about to ask me to go over to her house and have sex with her >.> (5 minute drive away)

so yea, i'm gonna try and keep away from this bitch =3

5 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-18 00:05 ID:Heaven

Cut that cancer out of your life double quick and move on.

6 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-18 01:10 ID:RZ1Io8YX

Well, just cut the cancer
But before that, just ask straightly to her if she wants you to fuck her once again.
If yes, go, fuck her, take pictures and post over the internet. If no, go and rape her, take pictures and post over the internet.
Also remember to make a little movie too.
After that give us her e-mail so we can send the pictures to her. I guarantee that she won't talk to you anymore.

7 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-18 08:12 ID:IwfgQK9Q

okay, got rid of her :]
here's a shortend version of how it went down

her: "omg, guess what happend last night"
me: "you didnt have sex with your bf did you?"
her: "yea i did :D"
me: "wow.... you're a slut"
her: "HEY!"
me: "what? you've been dating him for... a week? no wait, you said wednsday so... WOW 4 days!"
her: "i have strong feelings for (bf's name here)
me: "haha, yea w/e you say.... slut"
me: "you are the easiest girl i know. your bf probably has no respect for you at all"
her: "yes he does!"
me: "i'll give it about... another month at MOST"
her: "...."
me: "well, i'm off to bed. hope to never talk to you again slut ho-face"

i'm pretty sure she's gone now

8 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-18 21:32 ID:XsoUOZfd

well done OP. i wish i had balls that big

9 Name: good job!8NBuQ4l6uQ : 2008-08-19 01:20 ID:fN93aFzX

hahahaha, calling her a slut ho-face was awesome. If she's like most females, she'll to try to slander you now to any mutual friends. Keep us posted!

10 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-19 10:00 ID:IwfgQK9Q

holy mother fucking shit!
this girl just isnt getting the picture! (it's op btw)

her: "hey"
Me: "why are you talking to me?"
her: "you were right, after hwat you said last night i really do regret what i did"
me: "i dont really care anymore. i find that life goes by a lot smoother if you just dont care about certain people"
her: "I know! but i just wanted to let you know that i'm really grateful for what you said. it hasnt even been a week yet, i cant believe i made the same mistake again!"
(she had sex with this one guy after knowing him for 5 days)
me: "well, that sucks for you doesnt it?"
her: "yea"

and then, right as it was about to end. she knew my one weakness >.>

her: "so, how was practice? i hear you have a meet coming up"

I am a swimmer. and for some fucking reason, i cannot shut up about swimming! I cant shut up about how i love being in the water, how i love the competition, and how i love destroying everyone in the pool >.>
so, she got me talking again. god fucking damnit.

(2 hours later)

me: "haha, yea that was awesome"
her: "i know!"
(sharing stories of the past, talking, etc)
her: "well, i gotta go now. talk to ya later!"
me: "bye"

Me: (thinks: wait.... OMFG. GOD FUCKING DAMNIT SHIT FUCK -cursing continues)

so yea >.>
fuck me, my fault, fuck

11 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-19 12:45 ID:nsZnK5+g

I had this EXACT SAME PROBLEM a little while back. Here is how I dealt with it:

http://4-ch.net/love/kareha.pl/1211510568/l50

Cut off contact immediately. She's just trying to push your buttons.

12 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-19 19:57 ID:IwfgQK9Q

>>11
holy shit our prediciments seem so closely related xD sure we're both not talking about the same girl? haha

as for cutting off contact, i blocked her # and aim already. not gonna give friendship a 2nd try since she's being like this. maybe i'll try again in 6 months >.>

13 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-20 19:55 ID:qPZ6PXpc

well she was trying to push your buttons to see if you had felings for her still

some girls are crazy enough to see if they still have power over you and by you running from her like that it showed that she still does have powre over you

looking back at it, you could have simply said. i dont mind having you as a friend but i dont want to hear what you do sexually with your boyfriend. if you wanna catch up on the friendship we missed out on thats cool. but lets keep the boyfriend topics away from our conversation.

and after you clarified like that and she still presses on to tell you things you really have no interest in. just block her. :)

14 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-20 21:02 ID:IwfgQK9Q

>>13
yea, she does seem to be crazy enough to do that >.> she is one crazy bitch

and i know this is gonna make everyone hate me, despise me, etc.... but i cant get her out of my head -.- all of that talking we did made me think of the times we used to have. Shit, i even found myself looking through some old emails, which made me go find some notes she gave me. god fucking damnit, i dont want to have feeling for her, but they just keep coming back!!!!

just ignore this thread now. i'll just come on back every now and then to let off some steam

15 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-20 21:57 ID:nsYd0Mjk

>>14

delete the e-mail and burn the notes, the sooner you do it the sooner you'll forget

16 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-21 13:08 ID:I2vQmRoJ

>>11 here

>>some girls are crazy enough to see if they still have power over you and by you running from her like that it showed that she still does have powre over you

That's exactly what my ex was doing. She wanted to have her cake and eat it too by having power over me.

I understand your feelings though; part of me still has feelings for what the person I thought my ex was, not who she truly is. But do what >>15 said, I did the same and it was very cathartic for me.

17 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-21 15:20 ID:qPZ6PXpc

>>13 >>16

sometimes its good to see people for who you know they can be because they need that push. but when its a relationship if they arent aware of themselves and what theyre doing they just may have no hope.

one thing ive learned from working with people and dealing with relationship problems is that you have to hope for the best but dont expect it from them. when you expect things from people then you take what theyre not able to do/understand personally as an attack on you or negatively towards you.
as long as you dont take things personally youll be able to stay emotionally distanced from people. but since this is a close relationship issue. it never hurts to communicate but when youre communicating dont sound angry or defensive. because when you sound defensive theyre going to get defensive about you getting defensive then it gets to be about proving a point rather than finding a solution.

18 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-22 08:57 ID:IwfgQK9Q

OP here
yea, i got my emotions in check. I unblocked her and we were talking then she started going hella bitch/immature. not at me though, but enough that it annoyed the hell outa me

she started bitching about how some girl was going after her ex >.> i'm just gonna copy/paste so you guys can see how retarded she was acting

her (9:54:00 PM): would u ever date one of ur best friends ex bfs

her (9:54:20 PM): i mean
her (9:54:21 PM): gf
me (9:54:33 PM): depends on how long they broke up, and who broke up with who
her (9:54:51 PM): 1 fuckin week
her (9:54:54 PM): ago
me (9:55:03 PM): so, who's dating your ex?
her (9:55:19 PM): no one yet, but FUCK HER!
me (9:55:25 PM): >.> he's your ex
me (9:55:28 PM): get over it
me (9:55:34 PM): he's not yours anymore
her (9:55:50 PM): thats not my point, wat pissed me off is wat she told me
her (9:56:02 PM): about a few weeks ago she was like 'i would never date any of my friends exs'
her (9:56:10 PM): than today i asked her about it and shes like 'oh it depends who they are'
her (9:56:18 PM): fuck her, always taking my sloppy seconds
me(9:56:25 PM): -.-
me (9:56:34 PM): this is what i was talking baout when you asked if you acted immature
her (9:56:42 PM): shes a slut
her (9:56:45 PM): fuckin grow up
her (9:56:46 PM): not u
her (9:56:47 PM): her
me (9:56:51 PM): so what?
me (9:56:57 PM): he can date anyone he wants to date
me(9:57:02 PM): doesnt matter if she's a slut or not
her (9:57:08 PM): fuck watever
her (9:57:13 PM): you dont know wat went on
her (9:57:16 PM): u dont know what he said about me
me (9:57:42 PM): if he said something bad about you, then why do you care if he's gonna date her?
her (9:58:10 PM): because shes a fuckin slut, like seriously go fine ur own fuckin bf on ur fuckin own
me (9:58:46 PM): omfg, he's not your bf anymore. he's your EX. she met him through you, who fucking cares! you have a new bf now so you shouldnt give a rats ass about who he dates
her (9:59:13 PM): TAHTS NOT MY POINT!!
her (9:59:16 PM): MY POINT IS!!
her (9:59:23 PM): YOU DONT MAKE A PROMISE TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND THAN BREAK IT!!
me (9:59:40 PM): >.> that's HS, get used to it
her (9:59:50 PM): god sometimes i wanna fuckin kill her
me (10:00:15 PM): omfg calm down. it's not a big deal

i think in a way in that argument i was not only telling her off on how stupid and immature she was being, but i was also liberating myself from her crazy grip thing. she knew i liked her, and when i told her i dont like her at all anymore, she jsut completely shut up :p

so basically, if she was trying to bait me on to get me to like her again, she almost had it, but then failed miserably. she logged off a bit afterwards :]

19 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-22 10:34 ID:iYEgzRjP

Is it just me or does the usage of "u" instead of "you" make anyone sound stupid and annoying?

OP, good for you you quit with that girl.

20 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-22 13:07 ID:Ky0roUco

Dear OP, I find those chat logs tremendously amusing, please keep posting them.

21 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-22 21:05 ID:WP76WR9i

>>19
No no, it's not just you.

22 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-23 01:02 ID:IwfgQK9Q

the tables have turned =D
now i'm the one in power and she's the one suffering

we started talking, and she was saying how she's excited for prom (mucho time till then) so i reminded her that she could only go if she and her current bf didnt break up. she starts getting all defensive and agressive (understandble) But then i start talking about how this girl i've had an interest in called me and woke me up today and how she wants me to come over to her house later in the week to chill. i asked he ex for pointers on how to "seduce" a girl as a joke and she starts getting angry and defensive.

basically, i think she's jelous that i'm not into her anymore and now i'm off chasing another girl. kinda like in my last post when she was bitching about a girl going after her ex. (I know for a fact that ex int me. ex-gf and current interest dont talk) so, it's nice to have the tables turned and I have the power now :] i'm a good person though, so i'm not gonna use it... even if i really want to >.>

23 Name: bingo : 2008-08-24 03:56 ID:OxDdqfwH

dude, sounds like the two of you are perfect for each other. You are both so petty. Why not just get over it?

24 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-27 03:04 ID:Ky0roUco

updates?

25 Name: Anonymous : 2008-08-28 07:37 ID:IwfgQK9Q

OP here,
there really has not been much to update recently :p we both just talk as friends now. she know's i'm not interested and she's given up that chase and is content with her bf

I have found a girl, she was my best friend all through 7th grade and then for some reason we just stopped talking after she moved schools. ran into her at work after 5 years and i decided to take my lunch early and we just talked and caught up :p we've been talking online a lot and we're going to big music festival together on monday. I'm pretty sure she's interested, and so am i but we decided it would be best to wait until after we get to know eachother more before we date xD

so basically,
ex isnt giving me trouble anymore, we're both cool. and i met a new girl who likes me and I like her, but we're gonna wait a little

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