I'm so lonely it hurts.
I thought the divorce wouldn't affect me in this way but most of the friends were hers and promptly vanished. My best friend outside that died shortly after. Instead of becoming a friend, the girlfriend of said best friend became an obsession.
Every girl I become attracted to is already taken. Or maybe subconsciously I understand that before deciding to become attracted to them, because deep down I enjoy hopeless situations.
I still go out to drink weekly but I don't know if I can consider those people to be friends. Cons, the one place where I should be able to meet like-minded people, never seem to work like that, probably because everyone else is the same. Finding other decent meetups for non-work-related topics is hard. Meetup.com for example is basically non-existent. Back when it first opened up and was still popular I went to (technically, organised) a couple but it was too random.
So I end up with no true friends outside the Internet. To be fair, most of these are people I met in person first, but more seem to vanish each year. So in a few years I will probably talk to nobody outside of work, and if it weren't for work I would probably end up becoming a hermit or something.
Writing this makes me feel a little better though. I think what I really lack is people willing to listen to my problems. And why should they, they probably have their own.
>I think what I really lack is people willing to listen to my problems. And why should they, they probably have their own.
Well it seems you've found the right place then, as listening to (or reading I suppose) other people's problems and trying to help them out is the main purpose of this board! Personally I'm not very good at the advice part, so I'll leave that to others, but I just wanted to say that.
Actually I find that sharing, listening to other's problems and helping them whenever possible makes it easier for me to bear mine.
Maybe because it gives a perspective.
But... what's wrong with taking a shower? Showers are nice. I just don't get it. Do you have to take cold showers, or does she scrub you, or something?
Drink nights are about to go away I think. New people to arrive always go out of their way to sit away from me. Once I was at the only end with free seats and there were three free. Then three people arrived and instead of sitting there, they added another table on the other end.
With the last social outing gone the only time I will leave home will be work, classes and shopping.
Weekends come and I go a bit stir crazy. If I wake up in the late afternoon then I can avoid a lot of it but nothing gets done. If I wake up in the morning and get housework done, there is this limbo time in the middle of the day where I realise that my hobbies are more fun if someone else is there with me. It wasn't like this a few months ago though, I was able to cope with watching shit alone, and even preferred it.
I feel like I'm going through some kind of early mid-life crisis.
You basically need to restart your life, engage again in activities related to your interests. If you don't do anything, you won't be interesting to anyone, not even to yourself,...
Besides, you say that you work and study, and usually those environments provide plenty of opportunities for contact. Maybe you are just avoiding them, in spite of your needs.
Learn to be happy alone. This is only a temporary measure, but important.
And don't isolate yourself. Go out to movies by yourself, go shopping, go to parks, do whatever you'd enjoy doing with people, just alone. Get some good music to listen to while you walk around so you don't get bored. Don't always listen to music, though, because it isolates you. When you go in a shop or something, take the headphones off and talk to anyone it seems appropriate to talk to. It takes courage, but now I always talk to the person behind the counter. Even if it's just a 30 second joke, it's fun and I feel less alone.
I moved to a new city last year. I still saw some of my friends from my old town, but they were few and far between. I did this until I managed to get a real social life. Now I'm actually in a situation where I'm dating someone and I really miss doing things like going to movies alone.