I don't know what happened to me, I'm not the same as yesterday
I got offended by a guy on a forum, I really didn't like the way he trated me, and now I'm crying, I don't know why I'm so hurt if I don't even know this guy and I didn't like him from the beginning, and the mods are not doing a fucking thing to stop him, though they're "my friends"

My mother's always in a bad mood, she's always telling me what to do, and she gives details carefully and repeats it as if I am retarded

also, in my family we're having problems with the car... I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING OF CARS, and I don't think I'll be able to drive it since I'm fucking stupid, so my brothers-in-law are always driving it, and this is bad because they're not in home always, and they always argue about the problems of the car, and they blame ME because I don't drive and I quit the driver's school BECAUSE MY MOTHER WANTED ME TO, why? they wanted me to go 1 hour per week, and my mother says that way I'll not learn anything, oh! and it's expensive too, last lesson I got really stressed because the instructor treated me as if I'm retarded (hey, am I really retarded?)

last weekend was my birthday party (19!) I celebrated it at J's home (who the fuck is J? I'm the one who posted this http://4-ch.net/love/kareha.pl/1219385972/l50) and I screwed it all up because I got drunk, I singed like a fucking drunk (orly) and the mods of the forum I said got a bad impression of me, and I respect them and I wanted to give another impression---not the drunk girl that fights, break things, etc etc etc

I feel a kind of... sad and rage... I'm taking it out on the monitor... this way I'll break it

I'm thinking of leaving it all, leave my friends, the society, etc and becoming a hikikomori or suicide... that wouldn't be a surprise, my father and my brother commited suicide too