Hi,For the past five months people have been following me, taking photos of me with their cellphones, and saying random things towards me in public, such as: "There goes the psycho killer."; "Asshole."; "You're not going to hurt me are you?"; etc...People seem to be recognizing me. In addition to this, it seems as if all of my friends are lying to me about the same thing. I'm afraid that someone close to me went on my computer and stole all of the music, films, and writings I've ever made and either published them online on a blog about me, OR, that my friends shared the information amoungst themselves so as to make it appear that my worst fears (fear of misinterpretation and attention) had come true. I am also afraid they made either some kind of website or meme about me which I am unaware of, and that it's notoriety has spread and grown to the point of mass manhunt proportions in which people are supposed to call a specific number if they spot me driving or in public. People around me also seem inclined to introduce ironic skits or messages into my immediate surroundings, most likely drawing from the fears I have expressed over the phone or to those close to me. Persisting themes are: vampirism, dogs, horses, security, and communism. It is as if I am being turned inside-out against my will and with neither my knowledge or consent. Over the course of the past 5 months (and after initially warning everybody that we were being watched) I have become psychotic and delusional and am no longer capable of rationally discerning the "real" absurdity from the misperceptions. I now cannot shake the feeling that I am being filmed/recorded/scrutinized well above and beyond the ordinary levels one would be subjected to in a technological society. It has gotten to the point where I am even afraid to create anymore. I have sought medical help, am seeing a psychiatrist/therapist and am on anti-psychotic medication, but these only seem to slow down the "delusions" and paranoia, rather than remedy them. My episode has hurt everyone around me, everyone that I care about. I still believe that, aside from my temporary insanity, something large is happening to me of which I am either a big or small part (and by that I mean something out of the ordinary [since "Reality" could be defined as such ;]). Whatever is being done me may be out of a desire to help me, although people may be unaware of how much it has and is continuing to hurt me. I cannot tell whether or not it is punishment or aid or both. And if so, why? I have never considered myself special in any way, or better than others. If someone has gotten into my writings than a slew of misinterpretations would follow, leaving me as the only one left "in context". I am also afraid that I have been accused of something I didn't do. Please help with clues, information, links if you know of anything similar to what I described. And feel free to call me a loony, after all, I certainly fit the bill.
Yep, looks like you have a mental condition,... if your current therapist is not working for you, don't hesitate to look for another one.
Aside of dealing with the disease, I think you should think about managing it to decrease its consequences. After all, you say people dear to you were hurt. Maybe you should think about how to avoid that in the future
You. Need. Help.
pesonly ithink urcrazy but i envy ur paranoa
have you tried googling yourself? If you can't find yourself and i do mean exact descriptions and photos then you have nothing to worry about.
It sounds like you may be having a psychotic break. I recommend you seek help from a mental health professional immediately. Something is very wrong, and if you don't get help soon, you might end up completely dissociating and maybe even hurting someone!
KILL.YOUR.SELF.
See a good psychiatrist.