I am the OP of this thread.
I am an extremely introverted and weak person at heart so I neglected to act on my feelings at the time of originally posting this thread.
After I originally posted this thread I took it upon myself to force out all thoughts of it and that it wasn't worth the risk, but from time to time I wonder if I made the right decision.
I wonder - would she hate me? Would she understand me? Would she continue to be there for me on a daily basis like she has been? Would I be able to completely ignore these feelings and break them apart from who I am? Why am I like this? Was I born this way or did I become this way through external influences?
I hate it when she expects me to be aggressive, to take the initiative, to be the deciding one, to lead.
I hardly expect a response to this - why would anyone? The mere idea of telling her about me makes me terrified of the potential outcome. I'm weak and unmotivated. Despite all of this it hurts.