>>6
Don't worry, that's normal, you have quite a task in front of you. But I think that if you just ignore the whole issue your life will become more dysfunctional in uncontrolled ways (suicide, failed marriage, etc).
Start small: just learn more through internet, then you will be able to take more informed decisions (just take care to use a private browser to avoid incidents, check this: https://wiki.mozilla.org/PrivateBrowsing).
Anyways, here's a starting point: http://www.tsroadmap.com