My life is a ruined mess.
During the early stages of my life I did terribly in school, I ended up in all the special classes because I couldn't fucking function.
My mother was a drunk, when I finally got her to stop drinking things didn't really get any better.
She spoiled me, I got whatever I wanted, now I'm lazy and can't get myself to do anything.
My friends were all losers and I ended up being a wigger wannabe gang member for a couple years, looking back at that I want to kill myself.
I dropped out of school at grade 5 and I would get those free dial up discs, I soon found an addiction to porn and forums.
In 2005 I found 4chan, then this site.
I've been trying to get a job but nobody will hire me.
This is making me cry.
My life is nothing, I am nothing, I am worthless, living a life as a ghost.
I want to die, I don't want to exist I am nothing.
I wake up during the day, then I sit on my chair and browse the web until it's the morning then I go to bed, I do this every single day.
I want to die.
So whats stopping you? Lets get the lay gene out faster plox?
>I wake up during the day, then I sit on my chair and browse the web until it's the morning then I go to bed, I do this every single day.
Exact same for me and most of your story is the same is mine.
Also, you won't kill yourself; you'll be too scared as we all are.
>>1 Ok, so you were unlucky for most of your life, and you're not very bright. But that aside, if you were smart and lucky, how would your life be? What would you be doing?
Explain us that, and we will be able to make some progress.
You may as well live, try harder at getting a job (even a part-time one), getting into a college.
Just don't make any children.
I feel the same way, but for somewhat different reasons. I'm a university student and am doing very well with my studies (I've been pulling almost pure perfect scores and I've advanced in my studies almost three times as fast (as far as credits are concerned) as most of the students who started at the same time). I'm getting money from the government because of this, so the only job I've ever had was being a part time teacher at my old high school.
I'm 21 and still living with my parents. I have no friends and next to no social skills. I've never held hands or danced, let alone done anything more intimate, with a girl. I'm still getting acne despite trying to get rid of it for years. I spend my days studying and wasting time on the net.
My plans for the future are to write a Ph.D. thesis and then kill myself. Too bad the gun control in my country is much more strict than in the United States, so I'll have to think of another way.
Maybe you should take a year off from your studies and maybe travel a bit (either during your studies, or once you graduated, if you have no other choice). In this way you will gain some perspective before starting your PhD.
>>1
How many times have you been trying to kill yourself?
Did I ever say I wasn't intelligent?
Just because I didn't go to public school doesn't mean I'm not "bright".
I tried to off myself when I was 10 or 11, that's about it.
I was not thinking so much about grades but rather the gang part of your story. Honestly I suspect you are quite smart, but my point was that even if you are dumb as a doorknob, you can make it in life. Your problem is not lack of ability but lack of focus and a problematic self-perception.
You still have not told us what would you be if you were smart, lucky, handsome, you have it. That's the starting point.
The whole gang this is because I grew up in a shitty city, I lived in this apartment area where there was lots of bad people, aka the ghetto.
All my friends were trouble makers, as a child I looked up to them, I think it also had to do with not having a father around.
I was attracted to gangs because I felt like I was apart of something.
I was an extremely lonely child, I had no friends and I was very isolated.
Often I would cry myself to sleep.
As for if I was smart, lucky and handsome.
In my own way I am smart, I'm lucky because I live in a better area and I'm actually pretty good looking, except that I need to gain some weight and I need braces.
But I do wonder if I had stayed in school, if my father were around, if I never lived in that ghetto and never hung out with those people, I'd probably be in my own apartment with a wonderful job and girlfriend.
Look, I understand you have a tough start in life, and you will always bear emotional scars related to it, but you have to stop blaming your mother/absent father/shitty city/friends etc. You're on your own, and it's basically your own responsibility to make it or break it.
As you mention yourself, you have a lot going for you. A functioning brain (although blighted by too much self-pity and negativity), a good body, and a better situation than you started with.
If you are focussed and persistent, you will inevitably make it. The one thing you have to start with is to develop your work capacity. You seem to be unable to handle stress, and waver easily. Why don't you speak with people you respect about your job prospects, and ask them about how you could get a decent job in your area? You could also think about getting some extra education (evening or remote classes), but I only suggest that once you have a job that feeds you and a better sense of perspective.
As for the girfriend bit, do it once you stop having so much self hate. If you don't love yourself, why should anyone else do. And obviously you will only start loving yourself when you prove that you can live and sustain yourself financially, so that should be your most pressing goal.
Your worst enemy is the angst that rots your mind, not your past or your environment. Maybe they were partly responsible for generating it, but right now they are not the problem.
And continue to tell us how you are doing.
Guys, if you think about throwing away your lives then first make someone else happy! Why not?
The best way is to look for a pretty little girl, drag her to some hidden place and lick her pussy until she has had multiple orgasms. This is the purpose of every loser's life.
You wouldn't happen to post at 4chan under the name "Investment baker" would you?
The key to life is having a POWER COCK
Ask yourself this: is your cock POWERFUL? CAN IT TRIUMPH AND STAND STRONG?
No, of course not. I'm just joking. But that's it - that's what life should be about. Joking around, laughing, enjoying yourself.
You have problems, well, everyone has problems. Life is about taking those problems, and getting back up. Keep moving forward from those problems. No matter how hard you get hit, just get right back up. Doesn't take motivation or anything like that to get back up, just don't think about it or let it get to you and get up.
...Still though, I do recommend having a POWER COCK. It works wonders.
yea, life is a box of chocshit, u'll never know what happens next. deal with it.. the matrix wants you.
gotta get me one of those powercocks!
POOOWAAAAAH C-C-C-COCKZzzzzz
Hey, i am 22, after high school (with bad marks) i spend 2 years almost all! the time in the rented apartement of my parents.
Haven't done anything besides watching TV on the 5-6 channels, surfing with my computer from the year 2001 ....
Hell, i can't even use office programs since i have never used them. Just nothing.
Well, now i started to study PHYSICS (here, you don't need good marks to enroll in physics cause they exams will throw atleast 50% out, so no problem....).
And nothing has changed. I have no motivation, no real interests in physics nor am i intelligent.
I don't know what i will do, i don't know what i want to do.
I have done pretty much , but failed in everthing, really.
My wish would be following:
just fall asleep and never wake up again :)
Well i have some saved money.
So i also wanted to travel a bit before i die.
in before take some drugs etc. !
I RATHER DIE BY MYSELF THAN LEADING A LIVE IN ILLUSIONS.
>>23 maybe travelling is not such a bad idea, maybe it will make you come out of your hole,...
>>24
what hole?
what should happen? a miracle? ........
NEWS:
Anon on journey finds his great talents....
That's what i meant with illusions.
Sticking your hopes on things with really really low probability.
Welcome to life, waste all your time bitching and complaining about how tough your life is. your doing nothing with your life, what difference is it gonna make if you were to live or die? if you really want to see a tough life, go to africa. all those starving sick kids who cant even live long enough. now that's some sad shit. to them, your story about your "gangsta" and shit life is all a joke.
>>26
A little harsh, but it has a good point. You know, a year ago I felt the same way. I was ready to kill myself since I felt useless. I flunked out of college and thought that I would never go anywhere. Now i've never been happier.
Look, anon, life is not quite what you think it is. You don't have to save the world. You don't have to please your parents; hell, you don't even have to do much of anything but survive. Everything else is up to you. Anon, don't spend your life wallowing about how horrible it is. Because all you really HAVE to do in life is survive. Other than that, the sky's the limit, you just have to dream.
Don't give up on your dreams because your in a rut. Keep pushing forward. As long as you are alive, and surviving, you can keep dreaming. Don't give up. I know you can do it.
>>26 The Africa line, oh jeez. Great Advice!, belongs in the "cheer up, just be happy" pile. USELESS.
>>27 They are called dreams for a reason. The sky's the limit? Somehow i doubt you were suicidal a year ago, no way you would turn into this Lollypop Sugar Dream Guy.
you guys mean well, but eventually it's up to the guy to decide what he wants to do..but this lollypop advice is prob pissing him off. ah whatever.
yo buddy, you still alive?
>>7 you should try steaming your face, it makes miracles!!
OP! Keep your mood up, find joy from tiny things, smile more often, even if forced. Maybe one day you will enjoy the whole atmosphere you are living in? :)
Yes I am still alive, I'm currently going through therapy.
>>Keep your mood up, find joy from tiny things, smile more often, even if forced. Maybe one day you will enjoy the whole atmosphere you are living in? :)
FWIW, this ^^ is bullshit. Ten years and change ago, when I first wanted to die, I tried to make myself happy. Didn't work -- in fact, things have gotten progressively worse in spite of my efforts. Now I'm trying to figure out how to induce a heart attack so everyone will think I went out by accident.
Go choke on a dick, >>30.