My roommate is a spoiled princess which is saying a lot considering he's male. He steals my food, he uses my shampoo (how the shit do you use a whole bottle of shampoo in 2 FUCKING WEEKS?) he broke the keyboard on my computer, he stole ALL my mountain dew and tried to give me a dollar to pay for a 24 oz 6 pack, he makes a mess of everything and refuses to ever clean up. He wakes me up at 2 in the goddamn morning to tell me his internet is down and he needs his facebook.
He has had 3 jobs in the last 2 months since he moved here. The first was catering but he got upset they weren't giving him the time he needed for himself, his second was grounds keeping but he never showed up ... seriously his boss called almost every day "where's Chris?" till he got fed up and quit, and his third fired him after 4 days because he didn't show up one day and the next was 4 HOURS LATE. Then he comes home and complains about how they needed to be understanding that he needed a break and it wasn't fair.
What the fuck is wrong with you?!? He keeps bragging how his mommy is rich, how she lives in the nice part of Sacramento back home. Seriously, my dad sells cosmetics, that doesn't sound great but he makes over a million dollars a year you miserable pile of shit and you know what my dad did when I lost my job and couldn't pay rent? He gave me a list of homeless shelters to live at. That's real parenting there you massive faggot, a father who cares enough to let his kid learn on his own and not get handouts. Stop begging me for shit, stop stealing my shit, stop bragging about your fucking mom, get a real job you retard and buy me back my mountain dews!
God, I can't take any more of this, he's got a contract clear till May but I've lived here for 5 years, no way in hell I'm leaving. What in god's name do I do?
> God, I can't take any more of this, he's got a contract clear till May but I've lived here for 5 years, no way in hell I'm leaving. What in god's name do I do?
In GOD's name, you pray.
The Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 5, Verses 23-26
23 Therefore if youbring your gift to the altar,and there remember thatyour brother has some-thing against you.24 Leave your gift therebefore the altar, and goyour way. First be recon-ciled to your brother, andthen come and offer yourgift.25 Agree with your ad-versary quickly, while youare on the way with him,lest your adversary deliveryou to the judge, the judgehand you over to the offi-cer, and you be throwninto prison.26 Assuredly, I say toyou, you will by no meansget out of here till youhave paid the last penny.
>>3 that was actually pretty funny
Anyway just tell him you hate him to his face lock your snacks in a drawer or a closet or something never tell him the combination and password lock your computer. he only does tat stuff cuz you let him get away with it that's how spoiled kids roll just threaten to beat the crap out of him if he steals your stuff and if he does do it there are so many ways to make a persons life a living hell I'm sure you can think of something. Itching powder laxatives bullets guns flamethrowers knives you know the basics
That could work. This kid is on the fast lane to dying early. I can't take it any longer, I've already spoken to him, guess it's over time to shit in his face.
Ruination. Then go to 4chans /b and frame his for stuff saying he's a scientologist and then give info as another other anon.
Or, just list up this stuff full other other... >> stuff.
Like a condom bomb. Fill the condom with milk and tie it up. Then dip it in lube. Spread it around and yay, ruination.
>>He gave me a list of homeless shelters to live at
Your dad fucking sucks, a million dollars a year and you get to live at a homeless shelter. What a great lesson!! You could've been raped,beaten,etc etc. Great Dad!
Plus you are so badass that you survived the homeless shelter but you can't even stand up to a "THE OC" PUNK. IF you were on the streets, you would get your ass handed, so i doubt you even went to the homeless shelter.
Just kick his ass. Simple. All this 4chan anonymous bullshit and Godscriptures will do you shit.
-Get some LSD
-Put it in one of the mountain dews he steals
-report back
Revenge plus hilarity.
I had the same idea as >>9 minus the illegality. Besides, there isn't much fun to be had from "dude, I was tripping!" There are way funner, safer, and more legal things you could try. For starters:
But you know something? The #1 thing you need to do is talk to him about this. He may be many things -- immature, a jerk, this and that -- but he's your roommate and a fellow human being. He at least deserves to know what it is that he's doing that upsets you and the extent to which it upsets you. The things above play out like a Home Alone comedy in Anons' minds but the truth of the matter is that they can backfire on you in several ways: for starters, even if he loses, he can make your life a living hell if he tries to pursue matters legally and the judge agrees to hear the case. Then you've also gotta consider, what if Einstein over there decides to one-up you in this "roommate Cold War" by putting serious poison or other dangerous shit in your food and toiletries? Some people lack common sense and some people can be very evil. If you're roommate has either of those attributes then this cute little revenge game really may not be such a great idea after all.
And I've got to repeat, never ever do anything illegal (e.g. LSD). Not because I'm the Moral Police but because if your douchebag roommate figures out what it is that you've done then he can successfully press charges against you. It becomes way harder, if not impossible, for him to prove he has a case if as in the shampoo example he says, "But Your Honor! I know my roommate did this just to dye my hair red!"
>but he's your roommate and a fellow human being.
that isn't saying much. Think of all the murderers, rapists, thieves, they are "fellow human beings" but as I see it, they don't count for much.
You can use up a bottle of shampoo very easily in 2 weeks, when you use it as lube. Stupid, though.
Thanks for the advice, he broke down like a little pussy and started literally WAILING that it's not his fault etc. etc. Now he's keeping his hands off my stuff and keeping the kitchen clean. Making an enemy isn't in my plans but it sure beats putting up with his shit for 7 months. So far he's acting a lot better so it better last or I guess I'll freak on him again.
As for my dad, I got help from a friend, no big deal, I've never spent the night in a homeless shelter in my life and it sure as hell beats being a spoiled shit princess like this kid.
I was thinking that as I took a shower the other day, a few hours after reading this thread. Let's just say hand-soap is a better solution.
I can't take it any more. He's not doing dishes again, he's not keeping the counter or any of the pots and pans he uses clean, I found him stealing my food AGAIN, I moved both my computers into my room so now there's 3 computers in here and it's too small for all 3 but seriously, I caught him eating at my computer downstairs again when I told him not to get soda and crumbs and shit into the keyboard which is how he broke the last one. So i come home to find him IN MY ROOM talking on my telephone and browsing facebook. "I'm just checking my email" he says because he's looking for a job he says.
I cannot guard my shit 24 hours a day! I cannot sit in my room with 3 computers and buy a shotgun to keep this jackass out of my stuff! I tell him off, I've gotten mad at him more than once and he breaks down and starts crying which ends up accomplishing nothing.
I am at the end of my ability to continue. What in hell do I do?
>his internet is down and he needs his facebook.
>So i come home to find him IN MY ROOM talking on my telephone and browsing facebook.
Perhaps it would be a good idea to amend your hosts file and/or router to block Facebook and any other website he browses for hours on end. It doesn't seem that he would be bright enough to figure out how to revert the changes.
OP, why are you rooming with him at all? Kick him out if he isn't holding up his end of the bargain. Pack his stuff in boxes and leave it outside if you have to. Also, if you live in an apartment, whose name is on the lease? Talk to your landlord, maybe they'll help.
I recently learned that a new lock costs only $25. It's the labour which costs the rest, so if you know anyone who can do that sort of thing, then $25 will be your total.
Get a lock. Get your computers a lock or one of those thumbprint reader thingies. Get a book and write down all the shit he doesn't do. Or take a dump on his bed, unleash all hell on his room, then lock his room and vent proof yours. Let rot for 5 days and unlock it. Say some guys from the construction unit found an air conditioning problem.
Wow, I feel your pain. I had/have two roommates at the same time that did that. I kicked the girl out, keept all her food and ate it. HAHAHA!! STILL trying to get rid of the second one. I currently have brownies laced with tabasco, liquid smoke, and olive oil waiting for him. Come of find out that tabasco and liquid smoke smell wears out after 15 min. in the open air. The after taste will be killer though. LMAO!! I am thinking about sticking sugar in the shower head next. Mind you all, I've already confronted him about his theaviery multipule times, but my other roomies refuse to kick him out. He's "nice" they say. My retort is usualy, "and Hitler gave great speaches."
As for you, get a lock for your bedroom door. After he has a princess fit, then he might consider calling daddy to rescue his sorry arse. Good luck.
Just put a simple bios password on the computers and leave bait food in your area.
He may be a brat, but there is worse out there. You could be rooming with a phantom shitter, meth addict, or sociopath.
think of it this way, if you're reading this, guess what? It's May! He might be out soon! I hope so anyways. good luck!