Okay folks,I know that there must be a hundred threads on this subject already, but...
I've decided to come out to my family tomorrow, and it means allot. It means that I'll have to leave my religion (Jehovah's witnesses,) which I was raised in. It means that as a result, every friend I've ever made in my life will no longer be allowed to talk to me.
It means that my family might not want to talk to me either.
This is something I know I have to do for my own sanity's sake, but I'm so scared of the consequences (Namely, losing my friends) that I can't sleep. I feel sick.
Please, does anybody have any advice for me?
just go for it..!
I would normally say that any friend who would shun you based on sexual, and consequently, religious orientation, is not a friend worth having. A good friend is a friend that won't run away when you confess your homosexuality and thereafter proceed to make homo-erotic jokes, both of you fully aware that no penises will penetrate either ass in the real life.
Actually in this case I don't have any other advice. You may as well proceed as >>2 says and see what happens. Good luck!
Man, goodluck!! It's probably gonna hurt like a motha, but just hold on. Like >>3 said, if they abandon you whether it's family or friend, they are not worth it.
OP here. I tried. God damn it I tried, but I just couldn't do it.
What should I do? How can I get the courage I need to do this??
It's going to hurt a lot, I assure you. Just keep telling yourself that no matter how painful it is, you'll be better off not being chained down by these brain-dead excuses for people. If they won't let you be who you want to be, then you're better off without them - they don't deserve you. And if your family can't accept you for who you are because some book says so, then they don't deserve to see you on the holidays.
Good luck pal, I know that feeling too.
OP here. I... Did it. Sort of, anyway. We were in the middle of our family bible study, and I just... Told them. They're a bit shell shocked, and so am I.
I guess my dad is going to hit me with the whole barrage of "reasoning" against this later on, but for now I'm just happy (And quite stunned, mostly at myself) to be out of the closet.
Thank you, everyone. You really have no idea how much this means to me. Especially >>2, for your simple, effective advice.
I feel really weird, but in a good way.
Congratulations man. If you can tell us about it, I'm sure everyone would like to here how it goes in a few days.
Well, two of my immediate family members have had long, serious talks with me. Both seem to have taken the view that this is a passing phase and that I'll be better in a few years. >_>
My dad seems to think that I'm "Salvageable," that I'm just the victim of Gay propaganda. I told him that he's been the victim of straight propaganda, but whatever.I don't think it matters much right now. The talks will continue, I'm sure. People seem to think that this is a switch I can turn off and on. Oh well.
I'll update as things pan out.
well done buddy
Good for you. I hope that you're not a minor, and therefore that they can't send you off to a conversion camp. Hopefully they'll eventually learn to accept it. The fact that you are a perfectly ordinary person who happens to be gay and not a raging drag queen, super promiscuous, drug user, (insert negative gay stereotype here)will probably help them adjust.
Congratulations, I have a lot of respect for what you did. It was essential for both you and your family, but still many people fail to do it, and suffer for many years as a consequence.
I think that with a bit of time, patience and effort your family will understand that gay people are perfectly normal, and don't switch preferences at will. The same way straight people don't either. But most of all, everything will be fine as long as they are reassured that you are still the same yourself that they like, and that will not change in the future.
Get out of that sect ASAP
Good job OP. I hope things go well for you in the long run.
It all depends what you mean by "coming out".
If you mean coming out as having been sexually active - either with the opposite sex or the same sex - then you know that it's the understanding of Jehovah's Witnesses that the Bible does not allow for sex outside of marriage, and you are coming out as having "broken the rules". The consequences are much the same whether it's with the same or the opposite sex.
On the other hand, if you mean "coming out" in the sense of disclosing that you are gay by inclination but have remained celibate, that is an entirely different matter. Why should you lose friends because of your private feelings?
Possibly the website www.witnesses.plus.com may be helpful to you. There are many Witnesses worldwide who are gay by inclination but who remain chaste.
OP here.
>>20
I just can't go on living a life where I have to lie about my feelings. I know that the bible says it's wrong, but well, it also says you have to make a choice. It also says that you cannot judge a person for making that choice. I literally don't see anything even slightly wrong with it in the least.
So this is where I stand. Not for God or Devil, but for Humankind.