Alright, I Never considered much thought of posting my problems to a website but for some strange reason, today for the first time in years I feel I should try and see if anyone can tell me what is happening to me, what is going on, how do I fix this?
I use to be a naturally reserved person, back in secondary school but I meet friends who changed/helped me but in the end they screwed me over, now that i had to start over again with new friends i put my social skills i learnt from my previous friends in good use, then I found myself with a number of groups of friends, the thing is I'm not close with them and thats part of my problem, I cant get myself close friends, While I learnt to become socialable, I cant seem to gain close friends or in relationships.
Now at 17, Im in college and still a virgin, never in a relationship or a first kiss, not even close friends, the only thing I gained is a large quantity of friends who are not close, and are only the typical friends you would go to the cinema with, go shopping, eatting with, sports with, talk with, drink with, but the thing is they are not close enough to be talking about personal stuff with, plan to do stuff with i.e concerts/gigs... (I am actaully going to the 'Snow Patrol' Concert on Feb in Aberdeen, to be random)
I am a British Born Chinese (BBC), I get this alot that I have a Scottish Accent and I am Chinese, I do not speak chinese but I understand Chinese, the thing is I do not speak chinese not before I cant, but because I believe I have an accent/ pronouncation problem with both cato/mader (This is Not the problem as the people I am friends with are not all chinese, more like only 10% of my friends are chinese). My accent is quite the icebreaker with making 'just friends' as a scottish accent, and friendly natural voice thats the easy part.
Relationship Problem: I cant seem to find myself a girlfriend to be with, someone i can share my feeling is, I am 5"8 so I'm not short, (BBC),go to college, I have a part-time job, I am helpful naturally (i do some volenteering aswell in my free time), I go to the gym to workout 1.30hours-2.30hours 4x days a week and fit in swimming and sauna 2x a week and My body is quite nicely built but Im in general classed 'skinny' as i have a high matabolism and my body frame is Small-Medium but with noticably muscle tones, I love to talk to people and If there was an odd silence I would break it with a random laughter, I am reliable and independant, healthy, I am going to pass my drivers license on Jan, and I will have a car by then, I dont do drugs or smoke but I do go out with friends to Drink, yet there is no one who I can be with, I dream of new romantic things to do with a partner every night that, I lost count. I want to share my life with, to have a first relationship with, I am very practical in what I do (I can pick up things very quickly and very natual) and I have a logical mind and I am Capricornious (B-day in Jan, I will be able to drive legally before 18) I believe in star signs as my friend(female) introduced me to them, I was interested as it happens to give a realistic overview of my personality. I would be considered the "Jack of All Trades" as I do not excel in anything special, I am quite Artist/Creative but in the same time I am good at management/ business. I am Self-conscious as I can be un-biased at judging myself, I also give good accuracy reliable information and guidance to my friends in general when they look to me for advice. I dont have any Bad habits, I am not scared of anything and I am quick to defend people I know. I am also self-relient and even handled my own bullies, 2 bullies in different time-periods (I taken care of my own bullies myself, i beaten them myself, I would tell you in detail but too long....)
Relationship Problem: I cant seem to find myself a girlfriend to be with, someone i can share my feeling is, I am 5"8 so I'm not short, (BBC),go to college, I have a part-time job, I am helpful naturally (i do some volenteering aswell in my free time), I go to the gym to workout 1.30hours-2.30hours 4x days a week and fit in swimming and sauna 2x a week and My body is quite nicely built but Im in general classed 'skinny' as i have a high matabolism and my body frame is Small-Medium but with noticably muscle tones, I love to talk to people and If there was an odd silence I would break it with a random laughter, I am reliable and independant, healthy, I am going to pass my drivers license on Jan, and I will have a car by then, I dont do drugs or smoke but I do go out with friends to Drink, yet there is no one who I can be with, I dream of new romantic things to do with a partner every night that, I lost count. I want to share my life with, to have a first relationship with, I am very practical in what I do (I can pick up things very quickly and very natual) and I have a logical mind and I am Capricornious (B-day in Jan, I will be able to drive legally before 18) I believe in star signs as my friend(female) introduced me to them, I was interested as it happens to give a realistic overview of my personality. I would be considered the "Jack of All Trades" as I do not excel in anything special, I am quite Artist/Creative but in the same time I am good at management/ business. I am Self-conscious as I can be un-biased at judging myself, I also give good accuracy reliable information and guidance to my friends in general when they look to me for advice. I dont have any Bad habits, I am not scared of anything and I am quick to defend people I know. I am also self-relient and even handled my own bullies, 2 bullies in different time-periods (I taken care of my own bullies myself, i beaten them myself, I would tell you in detail but too long....)
For the girls I meet, I am immediately friendzoned. either that or i fail to see signs, and if they happen to give a blaunantly obvious signal i tend to be shocked and make up a shit excuse of saying no as I am scared of showing my deeper feelings when I dont mean to be, and dont realise until its too late.
Now I feel there is no one who loves me for who I am, I must look like a freak with an accent that a chinese person is not suppose to have, my family in HK and Taiwan look at me with comtempt when I went over to visit them...I do not belong with chinese and I do not belong with white people...I only ever visited my family's family twice...and my Culture is Scottish, along with its Patriotism and Braveness.
What are girls looking for in Guy?
I came to the conclusion I might be bi, as I am Attracted sexually with females but it seems to not have anything closer than that...however I know this guy that is Bi he is a few months younger than me and we are pretty close with each other. I known him since 3 years through the internet (we met through a game called Maplestory, though i quit a while ago but continued to talk to him after I workout in the gym), and recently he knows how I feel and I am actaully attracted to him, but he lives roughly 2hours away from me by train, we even send naked pics of each other, in kinky ways...different ways all the time, it even looks pornographic i believe. we even promised to meet, once I pass my driving lessons.
I need opinions and guidance for once...this is the first time I'm asking for advice in....5 years..
Ty and Please comment on or help me.
For the girls I meet, I am immediately friendzoned. either that or i fail to see signs, and if they happen to give a blaunantly obvious signal i tend to be shocked and make up a shit excuse of saying no as I am scared of showing my deeper feelings when I dont mean to be, and dont realise until its too late.
Now I feel there is no one who loves me for who I am, I must look like a freak with an accent that a chinese person is not suppose to have, my family in HK and Taiwan look at me with comtempt when I went over to visit them...I do not belong with chinese and I do not belong with white people...I only ever visited my family's family twice...and my Culture is Scottish, along with its Patriotism and Braveness.
What are girls looking for in Guy?
I came to the conclusion I might be bi, as I am Attracted sexually with females but it seems to not have anything closer than that...however I know this guy that is Bi he is a few months younger than me and we are pretty close with each other. I known him since 3 years through the internet (we met through a game called Maplestory, though i quit a while ago but continued to talk to him after I workout in the gym), and recently he knows how I feel and I am actaully attracted to him, but he lives roughly 2hours away from me by train, we even send naked pics of each other, in kinky ways...different ways all the time, it even looks pornographic i believe. we even promised to meet, once I pass my driving lessons.
I need opinions and guidance for once...this is the first time I'm asking for advice in....5 years..
Ty and Please comment on or help me.