>I am so imperfect that I dont even deserve to live...I am no one and Im only a person born to serve for peoples purpose

Scotland, if you view yourself this negatively you're never going to be able to get anyone, guy or girl, because to put it rather bluntly, nobody wants to be with people that have no confidence in themselves. Now, I'm not Chinese or Scottish (I'm American) so I can't relate to you in either of those senses, but speaking as a human being to a fellow human being, you deserve to be happy on YOUR terms, not your family's. If your family can't accept who you are or who you're with, then you shouldn't stick around, as harsh as that sounds. If you're in college, hang out with classmates. If you still live at home, MOVE OUT. It's obvious that staying in this situation is not healthy for you at all.