Well, there's your problem.

1._ Insecurity.
2._ Want to please others and not yourself.

You'll never be happy like that or have a girlfriend/boyfriend.
Maybe you think you show yourself confident but soon or later they'll notice it, that you aren't what you're acting up.

In real relationships a person needs to be real instead of acting or it will simple don't work, in any part of the world, with americans, or chinese, or indians, or whatever, i know there's rules but if you want to be happy you need to break the molde and please yourself and not your family.

If you feel better with guys, go for it, maybe do a second life but do it, and also, if you want a girlfriend but you family don't aprove, go for it. But simple, try to get independized, move out, that's the best you can do.

And in this era there must be racism but it's not only with chinese, even white people suffer that, so don't be afraid and be proud of what you are.

I think you should move far far away.