And what else does masculinity contain in its paradigm? I hear about the line between being a nice guy and a jerk is that you still have to be challenging, you still have to poke fun at her, etc, in short you have to be challenging or have enough ballsiness without overstepping it, lest you risk being labeled as boring. Fuck that. FUCK THAT. I don't want a challenge and I don't want my woman to see me as someone challenging or that I'm interesting because I poke fun at her, that that's the main reason she's with me. Furthermore your definition of masculinity seems to imply that shy guys aren't masculine, that a guy being afraid to ask someone out or liking being chased themselves isn't manly and therefore they don't deserve a relationship.