My family is unbelievable terrible.
Two months after graduating from Yale (two months!), my 'Mother' 'offers' me a backwater position as Regional Manager at Hydrodyne International to get 'experience'. How can I keep my girlfriends happy on that kind of salary? I have an ivy league degree in business, 'Mother', I think I know how to be as good a chairman as you. Probably better since you dropped out of Yale to 'take care' of Donny. Some good that did him, just the other day he told me he voted democrat!
Now I'm just trying to fend for myself in the cruel world and she keeps calling to say she loves me. Love doesn't add a security gate to my house, 'Mother'.
And to top it all off, Daddy bought me a new Chevrolet Corvette, when I made it clear I would settle for nothing less than a BMW Roadster! Can you believe it?
After all of the 'Mother' you posted, I have but one thing to say...
MOTHER!
TELL YOUR CHILDREN NOT TO WALK MY WAY.
TELL YOUR CHILDREN NOT TO HEAR MY WORDS, WHAT THEY MEAN, WHAT THEY SAY, MOTHER!
I totally understand where you're coming from, man. I'll be lucky if I get less than two welts on my face, and that's not even counting the belting that daddy gives me when I ask why I don't get any presents when Jake and Serena have candy and video games.