Hi /r9k/
I'd like to surprise my brother by buying him the laptop he's got his heart set on, but I'm worried it might be too grand a gesture and set him down the wrong attitude path.
He's 16, I'm 25. He's not a douchebag, we get along like best friends, which in itself is rare according to some people I know. He works hard in school and is doing really well, he has lots of good friends and a nice gf he's had for over a year. He's good with computers and web design and the laptop he wants is a high spec model which will really, really help him in his studies for years to come.
Enough of that, here's my problem - I'm worried it could somehow make him spoiled/damage his sense of financial worth somehow.
He doesn't have a job yet - he wants one though, but since we live in a rubbish village there's nowhere local taking new recruits. He is saving for this laptop himself with chore /Christmas/birthday money but he's got so far to go it's unrealistic for him to get it without help. I do buy him lunch and dinner practically every week but I always refuse his offers to pay.
My parents think I'm being over generous and disapprove, but they're both fucking skinflints and I've always been a impulsive type. Right now my brother and I spend weekends together and it's awesome, but I'm worried he might change somehow if I do this for him. He's never showed any sign of having such a personality flaw but then again no-ones ever spoiled him so much.
The laptop is £1500. The make and model is irrelevant; you only need to know it's a months wages for me and I already have £900 set aside comfortably.
Thanks for reading, what's your input?
lol, ignore the /r9k/ opening greeting. I can't edit my post
First of all, why don't you join forces and buy it together? You don't need to by the thing all by yourself, right? You could offer him a small gift box containing the message that you are ready to finance half of the laptop, or whatever he is missing. In that. In any case, I wouldn't go ahead and buy the laptop without consulting him. You never know what his precise goals are, and he might have another model in mind, or with different options. Avoid unnecessary disappointments.
Second, if you decide to give, then give without strings attached (or at least make them plain). You make your gift now because you feel like it. Don't bother doing it if you are afraid he might somehow change in the future. Also, don't give it to him if you are expecting him to feel obliged to you. That may be the case, but it's not guaranteed, and you should not expect it (or then say so when you decide to give it).