Just recently he's stopped eating anything more than maybe a single snack a day. He's convinced he's fat, which he isn't. He doesn't think it's a problem, I've been trying to persuade him otherwise for days now and getting nowhere, and I think it's starting to put a strain on our friendship.
I'm worried to hell about him and it doesn't seem like there's anything I can do; if he won't admit it's a problem he's never going to do anything about it. So... well, what can I do?
How much does he actually weigh? Perhaps you should just let him be if its not too severe. I sometimes starve myself too, just cause i want to save some money or i cant think of anything to eat.
Tell that fatso to get a life! LOL
>>1 Anorexia is a very hard to treat condition. People sometimes starve themselves to death. If it was enough to tell them that they are not fat, such deaths would never happen, believe me.
So don't put your friendship on the line, because if you are right and he has an eating disorder, it's normal that he does not listen to you and you will lose a friendship. It does not depend on you. He has an identity disorder that prevents him from correctly judging his own body.
One thing you may try to do (it's not easy), is to gather some pictures of him in a group of people, erase his head, and try to have him tell you whether each person of the group is fat or not. The problem is that he may recognize his own clothes, but if he fails to recognize his own body, he'll correctly categorize himself as "not fat" (anorexic people judge correctly other people's body, but not their own). You can them show him the complete picture. This will not heal him, just show him that he has a form of "identity disorder" that prevents him from judging his body correctly.
You could suggest healthy, non-fattening foods that would appeal to him. Or find some kind of food that he can eat lots of without feeling full.
There are two ways to look at this, in my opinion.
The first is the easier of the two ways. Ignore it, it isn't your problem. Of course, any moral person would find that hard to do. And, even if you are moral and feel it possible to ignore, isn't he still your friend? You could ignore it or something, but that may be too hard.
The second option, as I see it, would be better. You remain persistent in trying to curve his attitude. If he is a true friend, he will eventually get over your annoyances and see that you were only concerned. Hopefully he will get better.
However, if it gets to be too serious, you will probably need someone else with more power over your friend to help. I don't mean that in any devious way, I just mean that maybe you'll need his parents or someone else's help.
As an anorexic myself I can tell you... please don't push it. You will lose your friendship. This happened with me and another guy. I won't go into it, but just leave him be, it's for the best.
He actually admits he has a problem now, which is great. But he doesn't think there's anywhere he can go to get help. He's seeing a therapist for something else, but he thinks that if he tells either his therapist or his doctor, then because eating disorders count as self-harm, and he's 17, they're therefore obliged to tell his parents under US law, which would probably just make things worse (his parents are pretty terrible people). is that true? and if so, any ideas where else he could go?
call a youth counselling helpline, and ask them. I'm pretty sure there are ways
it's none of your business you know.
i know that you want to help him, but telling him to quit, will put even more pressure.
i think that what he needs more is support. accept him as he is. if he says im not hungry anymore, instead of saying 'you should finish your plate' , you could ask him if you can finish it, etc.
being loved is also a key for healing for anorexia.
sorry if my bad english.
but trust me, i know what i am talking about.