Everyday is the same thing. I wake up, turn on the computer, browse through the internet, check my-email when there's nothing interesting at all to check but I check anyways. No interesting messages to read but just a bunch of newsletters I signed for so that I can keep up some of the things of what's going on. The things I'm only interested on what's going on.
After that, I would leave the computer on and do something else. Which is playing video games. I've been playing this certain game called Fallout 3. It's about a lone wanderer who ventures into the wasteland and fights all these mutated things and a group of soldiers who blindly follow the words of a fake president...which is a highly intelligent A.I.
Anywho, I would just play video games all day and never thought of other things I want to do in my life. I felt like I should do something for myself but sometimes I can't or sometimes I don't feel like I want to and just want to play all day. Drown myself in video games.
Most of the time, I don't want this and I want a change for myself. I'm 21, single, an don't care about anything and anyone at all. I don't give a damn what's going inside and outside of the house I'm staying at. My mom and my sister are in a country they're living at while I'm here in the U.S. staying at my aunt's house. I admit, I have no job because for some reason I don't like going to work and just for the sake of some people, I give them money. Work and give people money is stupid to me. I wouldn't even have the chance to buy something for myself if that shit happens. My cousins are wreckless. They don't do anything around this house except the things they do I usually do around the house. However, I do clean the place around sometimes and I just hate to see something in a mess especially when my cousins leaves a mess and they don't fucking clean it up. When that happens, I was afraid that my aunt would blame me because I don't do shit around the house most of the time.
My friend who I knew since Elementary offered me staying at his place. He said he was alright with it, his wife also agreed. See, the thing is going back to my hometown is like going down in memory lane and remembering all the stupid things I've done and all the good times that I had. I just don't want to remember them again. However, the fact that the offer still stands and I told him that I should hold up the offer. I even apologize for using him as my last resort in case anything bad happens at where I'm currently staying at.
For a couple of weeks, I've been thinking a lot of things lately. I wanted to do something for myself but I'm afraid to go out and interact with other people. I hate people. I guess you can say I'm a bit of a misanthropic person. I don't know whether I should start community college here where I'm at and study the courses that I've been thinking I want to do lately or move out, stay at my friend's house, and study over there still wanting to study the same thing I've been thinking I want to do. However, I don't even know what to say to my aunt if I really wanted to move out and go back to my hometown.
Sometimes thinking all about this is what I hate the most and sometimes I want to end my life so that way everything can be solved. I don't have to worry about all the shit I've been worrying about. I don't know what to do for myself. I want to do something but for some reason I just can't. I have no goals or ambitions and I just don't know why.
You can say that I should move my ass and do it but I guess saying that's it hard to do it is just a stupid excuse.
Here's what I've been thinking: I should go to college and study some of the course that I've been thinking lately so that I can travel out to a country I most likely want to live in. For what reasons is that I want to start a fresh new life if I were to start living in another country. I would give up the things I have and whatever else I had before. Probably give up the things I believe in. It's not I'm saying that I would change my whole self but to change for the better. Become better than I'm already am?
I don't know, maybe this is stupid to plan for myself. How am I supposed to get into college when it's been a couple of years passed. I should have got into college after I graduated from 2006 but for some reason in my feeling I didn't want to.
[x] a man
[ ] a woman
[ ] under 16
[ ] 16-18
[x] 19-21
[ ] 22-25
[ ] 26-30
[ ] 31-40
[ ] 41 or more
[ ] studie
[ ] work
[ ] athletic
[x] fat
[ ] skinny
[x] heterosexual
[x] a man
[ ] bisexual
[ ] pedophile
[x] virgin
[x] never dated someone
[x] never kissed
[x] drink
[x] eat junk food (fast food)
[x] stay 10+ hours per day in front of computer (I spend more time on my computer than you do outside)
lol, wrong thread to post. my bad >.<
First of all, I do feel sorry for your aunt.
Second, I think you lack maturity and motivation to do things on your own, so you should probably follow a very structured activity, that provides you guidance and builds gradually your self-sufficiency. Probably the best option is a kind of apprenticeship where you would benefit from the guidance of a mentor, which can support you in a more personal way. Here is an example of such a program: http://www.ccbcmd.edu/ceed/apprenticeship_faq.html
As you can see, you can also earn a degree in this way. I think that by joining this form of education you'll slowly re-enter the active world, and regain the self-esteem you are sorely lacking.
Sounds interesting but that's the thing, how do I start this kind of thing? Will it really help me? I know there's so many things a chance for me to do but it's like I can't pull it off somehow.
Btw, why do you feel sorry for my aunt? Is it because she's baring all the weight on her shoulders because of me being the "bum" that she probably thinks of me?
I feel sorry for your aunt because she is supporting a lot of people who do not seem to always be easy on her. I don't know if your aunt likes you or not, but she has been supporting you for a long time, which is remarkable. Often depressed people like you bite the hand that feeds them, because it's the last hand that still approaches them. You don't have have to like your aunt, but you should respect her, not just fear her. I don't think you'll ever be able to repay the help she has provided you, at least learn to appreciate it.
As for what to do now, either you find an equivalent institution in your town, or you contact the people from the link I gave you to ask them which equivalent structures exist in your region. After that you check your local equivalent organization website, contact them, and go pay them a visit. Finally you pick up among their offerings what interests you more, or ask them if some other institution can provide what you are looking for, and contact them.
Of course you can pull it off. You can post on this forum, so you can also write an e-mail. Start with that, or grab a phone. Things will get rolling from then on. You don't need to think about everything now, just do one simple thing after the other.
I think my aunt is still struggling. I mean, with three kids who are boys and recently divorced. I know I don't fully understand the whole situation but the kids seems to get it hard on themselves the fact that their mom and dad are no longer together. Plus, being a single parent ain't easy.
So, trying and trying really matters? I won't know unless I really try? I guess so...
This totally explains your other thread in Romance.
You've isolated yourself from society, and the only real social interactions you have are through the internet. Hence you place a lot of value in internet relationships and end up getting hurt. You need to get out more and experience socialising with people, and hopefully restructure your values and priorities in the process.
Ah, so you read my thread in the romance section. That just happened to be there in that relationship didn't any further as I thought it would be. You are right I've isolated myself from the society. It is because I'm not interested in anyone's lives and what they do for living. It's just not interesting to me. When I try to talk with them they think I'm weird or something.
I don't know what happened and I don't even remember the last time I had a nice socializing chat. I just hate people and they're not interesting. They only interesting things is what they say what they're meant to say and what they're doing.
I don't have a lot of friends in the real world and in the internet. I just have a few right now and only one I'm talking with most of the time. He thinks I'm not a loser or whatever but I think he's lying to me. Like giving me a white lie or something.
I've isolated myself from society because everything is just...not interesting to me at all. The things my aunt do, my cousins do, my uncle, my mom, and my sister. What they all do in their lives is not interesting. It goes to say the same thing to the other people I know of and other people I met. It's what I believe about society.
Is being isolated from society, shutting yourself from the world that bad?
>I think my aunt is still struggling. I mean, with three kids who are boys and recently divorced.
Well, I suspected that, since you didn't mentioned your uncle. Anyway then it's even more the case that she's under a lot of stress, and deserves quite a bit of respect.
>So, trying and trying really matters? I won't know unless I really try? I guess so...
What does this cryptic comment means? Will you contact those people or not? I am giving you precise tips. Please cut the crap, and give me precise answers, not just some vague remarks. You are the one we are trying to help here, so it's in your interest to go to the point.
>Is being isolated from society, shutting yourself from the world that bad?
Not necessarily, but it's bad if the person in that situation is obviously trying and failing to get into a relationship, and also talks about suicide.
You don't seem to be a happy person, so I gather you're not taking well your isolation.
Do I still have time to think about it?
Perhaps I shall try out the link you offered me. I really do appreciate you guys helping me out. I just don't know if this is going to work out or no but I'm going to try.
>Do I still have time to think about it?
Sure, although gathering information does not require you to actually decide anything. Save your thinking for decision times, in the meantime get active and contact them.
>I'm going to try
Go for it! and keep us posted on how things go for you
>Is being isolated from society, shutting yourself from the world that bad?
I think it is. I understand that sometimes/a lot of the times, you feel that there's no-one who understands you, and you need a break from the world. But whilst some people prefer to be alone and secluded in their thoughts, I honestly don't think it's very healthy for a young person. You might think that people find you weird, and hence you are deterred from socialising, but locking yourself away is only gonna make you lose touch with people and unable to relate with them even more so.
I suspect that "finding society uninteresting" is just an excuse for not leaving your computer. I think you'll find that once you start interacting properly, and make progress (ie. find a job), it'll be hard, but at the same time you find that sense of achievement that will motivate you even further.
> Do I still have time to think about it?
I'm the same age as you, and even though I have a vague sort of idea of where I'm going in life, I'm always finding that I'm short of time and I haven't achieved enough in these past 20 years. The fact is; time is precious. I hope you realise it before it's too late. I reckon if you don't commit yourself to changing now, you'll be at this same situation in 3 months, 1 year or 5 years time. If you don't do something now, you'll just put it off again and again. What exactly have you got to think about anyway? Whether you're going to start making goals in life or whether you're gonna be a bum forever? I apologise if I'm being too harsh, but I'm saying this with your best interest at heart.
It's ok, hit me with all you've got. I want to hear anything that's truthfully about me and what's going on and all.
My friend who I've known since high school offered me to go job hunting with him and his friend. Probably next week. I don't know if it's a good idea or not but I feel like I should go and just try at least. Somehow when I hang out with him and his friend, I feel like I don't belong to their generation. Like I'm not supposed to hang out with these guys because I'm in a different category than they are. They both go to college and I don't but they need some money for the college they've been attending to. I guess we're all kinda on a same boat who needs jobs. I just feel a little insecure with them because they seemed to be more sophisticated than I am in terms of being outside.
Time is precious and there's nothing you can do stop it. All you need to do is do something about it for yourself.
> Time is precious and there's nothing you can do stop it. All you need to do is do something about it for yourself.
Yes. So DO something. Don't stay here asking us questions you already know the answers to. Actions speak louder than words.
Job hunting is a VERY GOOD IDEA. You're getting it easy in that your friends are willing to help you. They obviously care about you, and know what's going to happen to you if you don't do something with your life now. Run with it already.
Here are your current options:
I think >>5 said it very well in that I also think you are more suited to getting an apprenticeship at the moment. College is great and all, but in your situation, I think you'll find more negatives than positives in the experience. At the moment you have to build up some motivation, and to do that you need some momentum, which I think would be most easily achieved in an apprenticeship.
Please stop with the pessimism and paranoia. If you keep thinking negatively all the time, and continue doubting yourself, you and me will be asking and answering questions for a very, very long time.
Don't look down on yourself just because you're not going to college as well. Everyone has their own pathway in life. It's about time you start yours.
If your next post is not about you talking about how the job/apprenticeship hunting went, then I have nothing further to say in this thread.
I just got back from my aunt's co-worker's house. My aunt told me this morning that her co-worker needed someone to fix her computer and let me tell you, the computer is 7 years old, so damn slow, and trying to fix it can be a kind of frustrating.
She paid me a little bit but I felt like I didn't deserve it because I didn't fix it yet but I guess doing an effort on fixing her computer I guess it was okay for her to pay me.
Anywho, the co-worker and I had a chat and what she had said finally hit me and it reminded me of what I've been talking about over here in this thread I created.
She was talking about her son and how he was trying all of sorts of things that he wanted to do and a few of them didn't work out for him but he tried some other things. It's as if he's trying things and that he's trying hard when he is trying.
It hit me that, if he can do it why can't I? Why can I just simply try it out. After all, it's not so bad to try it out?
She asked me this one question I can't remember anymore but I told her that I'm trying to get a job and probably go to college to learn Japanese and probably learn to play the piano. No one knows much about this and I don't know if they notice but I have this secret passion of playing the piano. Whenever I hear a music that has piano playing in it, I feel different. When I do feel different, it's like I'm at a calm state or something. Like everything is going to be alright or whatever.
I don't know but maybe I want to learn to play the piano and I really do because every time I touch a piano and start playing, it's like I don't want to stop at all or something.
SO, I don't know how to start it off or whatever but I am still considering that apprenticeship or do a job hunting with my friends next week and try to get into college.
Hello, I am back. I thought I should come back and post about what's really going on with me.
Weeks ago, my aunt went a trip to the Philippines and she took her youngest child with her while her other two stay with their dad. Unfortunately, my aunt and my uncle are recently divorced but that's not the issue, I'm getting there. For the weeks that have spent wasting my life on things that I find boring. Like, playing video games, using the computer, watching anime and movies, listening to music real loud. Now, I know I should have done something for myself for the past weeks and I was really thinking about it. I'm alone at my aunt's house most of the time. The time when my aunt was on her vacation. My uncle would work, my two cousins would do their own thing, and here I am thinking that I'm doing absolutely nothing. Here's the thing, I've talked with a friend of mine, who I knew him since elementary school, and he told me that it's alright that I can stay at his place. Details revealed that it was his wife who suggested about it. It was kinda surprising that his wife would suggested at first. How did I know about this? He talk about it with me. Now, he lives at my hometown and I never would have thought that I would go back and live at my hometown again.
Anywho, weeks before the plan was put out, I ask him if the offer can put on hold and that I want to seriously think about it. I did think about it, too much if you ask me. One day, we talk again about it and I take their offer about me staying at their place. He said he's going to help me out, guide me while I do most of the things on my own. Now, we talk a lot about this. Here's the thing, I have trouble when it comes to trust and the fact I have not done this before. I'm not much of a social person and I'm not good with people but this is something I thought it's better for me because I seriously need to do something for myself. I just need a little bit of help to get to where I want to be. At least that's what I think.
So my friend, who I've known for a very long time, he's married. I don't know much about his wife but she seems nice. She has three kids and their not from my friend. The three kids is from a dad that my friend's wife used to be with long time ago. At least, that's what I heard so far. Here's to the point. I'll be living with them next week while I get my shit together and all. It's just that I think living with them is going to be hard for me. I am a nice and respectful towards other people. I have learned a lot of things when it comes to living with other people. I've experienced it a lot but this time, this is way different. I'm living with people whom I am not related with. I'm not sure but I think my friend is hooking me up with a job that he currently has. I''m thinking that I'm worrying too much but shouldn't I not worry too much. I'm taking my chance here because I want to have my life get going. You know, accelerate.
I think it's not a bad idea. Being with people who are not family will probably force you to quit the spoiled brat attitude. At the same time, you'll be with people who are ready to help you out, so you can feel safe.
I think it's a good way to grow up, probably safer than you just going living by yourself (you clearly don't seem to have the autonomy to do so).
So yeah, I think it's a good initiative. Be happy that you have such good friends, and do your best also for them, not just for yourself.
Of course, not for myself. I think I need to take a consideration from others because they're helping me out and all. I have to be appreciative about it. I just don't know who I really am unless I figure it out by doing something about my life. Who says I have a spoiled brat attitude? =\
Hey Ryuuchi, I'm >>46 from your other thread..
First of all, congratulations on what you've achieved so far. Just by opening up to your family and making plans, you have finally turned a new leaf in your life.
With regards to the arrangement with your best friend, I say take it, and run with it. Not many people will have an opportunity like this, I can tell you. After all, what do you have to lose? You might be afraid of trusting him, but a man has to take risks at times. If you don't risk anything, you won't have anything to gain.
Planning is important. Though sometimes, you have to remember to just go with the flow. You mentioned that your friend seems to be able to "wing it" through life. I myself, know people like that. Are they just naturally lucky? I don't know. But I think a bit part of it is their optimism. Optimistic people are happier, always look on the bright side of things, and thus seem to be lucky. If something bad happens to them, they learn from it, get over it quickly, and hence seem to not go through any troubles in their life. Anyway, I digress. It's good to have plans Ryuuchi, just don't overplan, or over analyse, otherwise chances will slip through your hands before you know it. If you get to an obstacle, look at it as an experience, and don't be swallowed up by it.
I also think you should consider yourself very lucky to have a friend that will do that much for you. Living with them might teach you a little more about responsibility and purpose. Remember to never treat your stay at their place for granted. Just do your part, like washing the dishes or cleaning from time to time, because you will be a part of their household.
Finally I'm glad to see you starting to mature.
I had my wallet stolen today, so I was feeling a bit down, but I'm smiling after reading this.
I thought to myself that doing this kind of plan will do me good than I am right now. He said it's ok, his told his wife is ok about it. Since as far as I know, my friend told me that his wife suggested. When he said to me that he help me out, he sounds like he is willing to do so. I have some doubts about him but regardless, he's a good guy as far as I know. This friend of mine, let's just call him A. The friend who I mentioned who likes to "wing it" most of the time, let's call him E. E, seems to not be doing well and I don't know how to support him or whatever because I am afraid of what I would say to him. I thought that if I do, he might take it the wrong way. So far, I haven't talked to him that much but I did see him change over the time. He has some new tattoos and he says in his myspace that he's been going to strip clubs. I'm kinda of in a disappointment seeing the state that he's in but I guess if he wants to go that kind of path, I won't stop him. Now, A and perhaps I have been talking about him and we seem to look down on him behind his back. Yes, we talk about him but not all the time. It's just that we show concern to our friend, E.
Anywho, I am a little bit afraid about this plan I'm going to execute next week and I'm really not sure how it's going to go but I am going to do it well on my own terms while there are people I know who seem to care enough to help me out. Of course, I do appreciate them helping me out, I really do. >>22, I don't know how to say much and I'm not the guy with words, you know? However, I am grateful and thank you. I just feel I should say that to you.
Btw, I am sorry to hear about your wallet being stolen. I wish I can help you out and searching for that idiot who stole it, haha. Hey, cheer up. =)
This might sound a little selfish, but I don't think it's the right time to be helping your friend, E. I think it's a very important time for yourself, and you need to concentrate your efforts on your own goals. You need to support yourself first, before you can reach out to help others. Besides, unless you know for sure that he's unhappy with his lifestyle, you can't really help him.
I want to ask why you have doubts about your friend. I'm just curious. But to me, he sounds like a good man.
Naturally, you're feeling a little nervous about all of this. After all, it is a big step. But like I said, be optimistic, and things will generally go your way.
And thanks for your concern haha. Although it's annoying having to get new licences and bankcards, at least it's not anything that can't be replaced. My friend insisted that she buy me a new wallet. It's good to have friends :)
Good luck, Ryuuchi.
No, it's okay. I understand. I don't think either since I gotta do something about myself and all first. I would like to say that I have bigger things to worry about, you know?
About having doubts about my friend, A. Maybe I'm just paranoid but I am so cautious about myself towards others, I don't even know why myself but yea, he is a good man as far as I know.
I guess it's good to have friends and thanks. =)
Today's Saturday and I'm near the date of moving. As the day gets closer and closer, I feel more nervous but at the same time I feel that this kind of chance is something I should take because this kind of opportunity I won't get in the future. so what's the real point? I am doing something for my life. Actually, I'm about to do something for my life. There is nothing wrong at all. Not from me, not from anything at all so far. I feel something is wrong about me. I feel fine and all but it's like the bad vibe is kicking it in. Am I thinking too much?
Btw, I am afraid that I won't be able to chronicle how I'm doing so far and all because I don't have a personal computer of my own except my PS3. You may not hear from me for a long time and it's because it's embarrassing to be in this website while my friend and the family of his are in the presence while I'm visiting this website.
So I was confirmed that I got a job and it's not really that good but at least I got one. Thanks to the hookup I got from my friend. I'm leaving on Wednesday and might make the final post on Tuesday because I don't think I'll be posting to get more help or whatever from this website but I'll at least try. The problem is transportation but I should get around this kind of problem. Also another problem is that I'm going to talk with the manager on Friday I guess, so that we can get acquainted and all. I'm kinda nervous about that but I should keep my cool, right?
That's the problem about me. I'm not used to talking with people I completely don't know about. I tend to feel tense and that I think that I want to get out of the situation and be left alone once again. Something about this part that I don't understand. I tend to get real nervous and tense when I talk to someone who is new to me and I don't know about that person.
So, I'm here at my friend's house and so far it's going well. However, I still don't have job yet and I await for the confirmation of my mcdonald's job. Sometimes I don't know why I'm doing over here but I know the reason I need to do. I think things aren't looking up for me but hopefully that kind of time will change better soon. I have no idea what to do right now and I'm thinking that I should look for another option for another job or go back to my aunt's place. However, my friend and his family picked me up all the way to where I was and I feel bad if I feel like going back to my aunt's house.
I have a second interview today at 2PM. I bombed the first interview because I felt kinda nervous or something. Sometimes I still feel like I want to go back and live at my aunt's house and continue my boring life of doing absolutely nothing. My friend told me it is up to him to hire me or not but of course he hired me and all I need to do is do another interview with the manager. I know nothing really interesting is going on with me in my thread but hey, at least I can "blog" about it over here because I don't want to blog it at myspace or other awful social networking sites.
I was told that another friend of mine wants me to hang out with him at a club. Some night club. With no money with me or whatever and I'm not even so sure if I wanted to go. I mean. What the hell should I do in a club?
So I just woke up and I feel like crap. I don't know if I mentioned this before but my friend is married and the kids are not his. There's three of them. I don't really understand what's going on between him, the three kids, the woman he is married with but for sure it's not really by business.
Anywho, yesterday I didn't go because I was told that the manager of mcdonald's left early and so I wasn't able to take the interview. So today, I might take the interview but for me I don't know what's going on and I'm starting to lose faith about all this that I have planned out so far. There are options and I feel ashamed if I ever decide to go back to my aunt's house and actually go back to square one, perhaps square zero to be exact.
Another option is me living with my mom and my sister in the Philippines but that's something I don't like but it's just another option.
Another one I can look myself a job other than my friend who hooked me up if things doesn't go well. It's been a week without anything going on and things are really getting in to me. It's like I'm going insane.
The kids are kinda driving me crazy and they don't behave well as I expected as much. The mother doesn't do anything but I guess she's trying hard to keep them under control. However, the way I look at it, I don't think so. A, my friend, seems to be doing most of the work around here.
I'm leaning towards the plan of backfiring to my aunt's house and I don't know how my friend and his wife will take it if I said so. They haven't successfully gave me a copy of a house key so what's the point of going out if I wanted to if I don't have a place to go back to without a house key, you know?
The DMV place for getting a driver's license is a long walk and I'm thinking of going there to take my written test on my own but I don't know about that.
It seems I'm back to where I am again. Just like what the thread is saying: What should do in my like?
Hey Ryuuchi..
I've been a bit busy lately, my holidays just ended so I haven't had time to check your updates. Sucks that things aren't going as smoothly as you hoped they would but hey, best case scenarios almost never happen in life.
I know how annoying kids can be, especially when they're fighting. I think eventually you'll be able to adjust though, just tolerate it until you do. I know that's a lot to ask, but give them a chance?
How long since you've made the massive move? It's been about two weeks? Personally, I think you have to press on a bit more before you decide that this path isn't right for you. Don't run from your problems Ryuuchi.
The way I see it now;
Let me know how it goes.
So, after figuring out that living with friend A wasn't all that it seemed it would be, you want to go back to your old way of life? First thing's first; I couldn't see how living with friend A could benefit you in the first place. Sure, he could hook you up with a job, but it's not going to be any good anyways.
If you want a well-paying job, get a college education. It doesn't need to be first rate, just get into one. If you want to turn your life around, it's going to take more work than you think you could handle. But you can, and you will. About the living arrangements; if you go back to your Aunt's, just make sure you don't fall back into your previous lifestyle.
Hey, I understand how you feel. It's like: what's the point in trying if I don't have to? I can just live lazy and do nothing at all, and I'll still get by in life.
Well, life isn't that easy. Sooner or later, you'll figure that out. Make it be sooner.
How's it going guys, it's me again. I'm alone at home and feel like going out with my familiar hometown place but I don't have a house key to go back when I'm done with hometown's mother nature. So I'm stuck here with five cats they own. Did I mention they have five cats?
Oh yea, I sleep in the living room. I was told that I can use the pull out bed from the couch
Let's see, I should take the test but I don't have a key to go back to my friend's place and I don't want to wait long hours outside the door. A, told me that the next door does some drug dealing while on the second level has people arguing occasionally, so I heard. It doesn't surprise me because that's how most areas in my hometown rolls, you know? I'm used to it and not too much paranoid about it.
Well the good news is, it seems I'm hired. The manager of Mcdonald's had me fill out some forms like the I-9, employee info, and other applications I had to fill out. His last words: I'll let you know when you get to work for the company. Or at least that's what I heard from him. Sometimes I can't hear what exactly he is saying.
A, told me that the orientation for the job is on Fridays and Tuesdays. His day off is on Friday and Saturday. So I don't know what I need to do on Friday but just go to the job place for the orientation, on my own or something. The Mcdonald's place is quite far. A long walk, I suppose. I thought it's kinda hard for me since I can't drive yet and don't have a car of my own, you know?
That's where the DMV takes place. I might do it tomorrow. The thing is I didn't well on first try back where I used to live with my aunt and I know I have two more tries left. The question is: Am I able to try again regardless which DMV building you're at within a state?
Anywho, I'm hanging in there as best as I can. I've stayed here for about 1 week and 1 day. So far, it's going okay staying at my friend's place.
There's is a college here. It's a community college. I thought that if I signed up for it, I can do some classes that I would like to do. Registering is under way and classes start in September I think. I'm not even so sure if I want to do it or not. The problem for me is transportation. The college place is far away from here even the job that I might work at is also far away. The only one who drives from where I'm staying at is my friend's wife. I don't want her to think that I'm using her as a taxi driver or whatever. Is there any way to get from point A to point B without a problem?
If I go back to my aunt's place, I don't think I want to go back to my previous lifestyle but I think it was better than the lifestyle that I'm currently having BUT it's something that it'll get me no where.
I can see that there are so many options that I can take. The thing is there will be some gaining and losing when I do so. Is that even right to do so if I want to do something I want to do? Gaining something while you lost something?
Hey,
I read all of your posts about your stand still life, the move out and the job. Just to say in the least, very inspiration man. Not even lying here.
I'd like to put in my two cents and say, once you get a financial income stable you can enroll in community college. As you might have known, apply for finical aid. That will help you lots. If you're interests in FREE MONEY [who isn't] go apply for some grants. The money they give you is of course free, and you won't have to pay them back like a loan.
To answer or shed some light on your questions.
Going back to your previous lifestyle: You have already recognized the slow, repetitive and boring ways it had left you. Leaving you in a sense of emptiness. You mentioned how you felt like there was no need for human interaction or any form of social interaction [outside of family]. Would you really be satisfied later on living a life and a head filled with questions and "what-if's"?
Though things might not be as euphoric or exciting right now, "fun things happen when work is done right and earned".
I say keep at it, and see how you like it...
but work is never a fun start, especially a fast food joint.
Don't give up hope yet.
I'm rooting for you.
Yeah, I agree with you. Although your lifestyle at your aunt's place was easy, I don't think you were actually experiencing life as you are now. I have a feeling that if you go back now, it's too soon, and it will be too easy for you to fall back into your old habit.
Is there no way you can get an extra key from your friend? It's very limiting if you can't go out whenever you want, and you don't have a car. As far as I'm concerned, those are your two priorities right now (aside from the job). Ring up and ask them if you can retake the driving test. I don't know how it works in the US, but over here we can take it however many times we want, but we pay $30 every time.
Community college can come a bit down the track. I think if you put your foot into many things at once, it can all fall apart very easily. If you're going to go to college you'll need some financial backing, so I totally agree with >>34 here...get a stable income first, and some savings, in order to fund your other grander goals.
Wassup guys, it's me again. I just recently got off from work. So here's an update from me. Today which is August 1st. It is my third day of work and my feet is killing me. I never would have thought that I would work in McDonald's. Sometimes I don't know what the hell I should do during work. Sometimes I would just go out and take a look at the trash bins if any of them are full and yea, I take my sweet ass time. I think there's really anything much to do except serving food for the customers. The things I have done so far is brewing coffee, washing dishes (easy and I would rather work on the dishes the whole day), taking out the trash, clean the tables, sweep the floor. I haven't done front counter yet. I sometimes do the grilling. Man, I fucking hate the grilling. I sweat so much on the grilling part and I hate it. When I get the chance, I go get myself a paper towel just to wipe my sweat off and then get back on the grilling.
I'm thinking of looking for another job like the cinema or the rental video place like Blockbuster. I think I would be a little bit happier on those kind of places than a fast food joint. However, I don't know how to discuss about leaving the job if I took another job that I'm more interested in to the head manager. I also feel bad because my friend got through this job for me but I did talk to him about it. He told me that whatever is good for me and I added: that I am comfortable with.
So I work tomorrow at 7AM and I a little glad cause I get to leave early than today. I started 9AM and got off at 5PM. I like starting early and leave early, you know?
I'd like to hear from you guys point of view about this because I really want to look for another job that best suits me. I'm leaning towards to Blockbuster Video.
You've taken the first step.
Good for you, you're doing great. Keep up the good work.
You'll be forgiven for everything in this life except for one thing: success.
>>37
I'm not really leaning towards success unless I decide to attend to some college. Right now, I want to be in a comfortable job that best suits me.
I just woke up, took a shower, and here I am. I feel crappy right now. As a matter of fact, I feel crap every morning. I'm not much of a morning person but I want to get through the day when it comes to work.
I'm still hanging but I feel like I can't go on with this kind of job. I hate to say it but it's killing me.
Btw, my mom is getting stressful lately and it seems she wants to come back here in the U.S. after a year or two. She's getting pressured over where she is staying at due to her brothers and sisters asking her money and all. I'm probably move in with her once she comes back here in the U.S.
I feel sleepy, tired, and exhausted from all the work I've done in McDonald's. I can say that I truly, honestly, don't feel happy about the job.
I think that you could definitely interview for other jobs whilst you're working at Macca's. I mean let's face it, there's a lot more better jobs out there than flipping burgers at minimum wage all day. I would be careful about how you talk about it at other interviews however. Don't talk crudely about how crap it was, because they're just gonna think that you're a lazy worker looking for better pay. Instead, say something like it was a bit limiting, and you felt that Blockbuster (or whatever) could offer you more opportunities etc.
If you were to move in with your mum, I would suggest helping to contribute to rent every month/week. I'm sure she would be happy at how much you've changed and grown up.
Yesterday, Monday, I started to feel sick when I came in for work. So I told the manager that I wasn't feeling too good and he told me to go home and so I did. I don't know if that was bad or whatever but I think it was and I felt that he was pissed about it. During the night, at home, at my my friend's place, I asked him if there's an update about me going to work the next day. He called and ask for himself if he's going tomorrow and then me. There was nothing for me but the next day, Tuesday. I slept through. My friend's wife woke me up. She was on her cell, talking to my friend from work. This was around 9:30-ish AM. My friend relaying messages to his wife and was wondering if I can come in for work. The thing is I said: I guess not. Then I went back to bed.
I know, pathetic, huh? I finally got a job but it's a job that I am not happy about. Now, I am thinking of going to college instead and so that there are more options for me to get other kind of jobs out there. College won't start until September and I'm thinking that I should just leave the damn job and just focus on going to college. I can register right now for next month but I'm not so sure about it. Hell, I'm not even so sure about myself on what I really want to do.
Yesterday, Monday. I went for a very long walk. I went over to the Cinema and see if they're hiring at the moment. Unfortunately, they're not hiring at the moment. I felt bad about it. From there on, I felt hungry from all the walking and grabbed a bite of Subway and nice cold drink of Jamha Juice alone. Boy, that sweet onion chicken teriyaki sub sandwhich tasted real good. Afterwards, I walked over to my grandpa's place. He lives real near the Cinema but to my surprise he wasn't there and I thought to myself that he's either at my half brother's place or simply gambling.
So I got some options that I have been thinking lately unless anyone has other suggestion, I will read them out:
3 and 4 is something I would not enjoy my life through. 1, I would feel ashamed of going back but I would feel relieved and that I should get my ass on to things for myself. 2, well I don't like where my mom is at but at least I will be doing well for sure. This is where I get back to: What should I do in my life?
Jeez Ryuuchi..that is pathetic..
One of my first jobs at 18, involved me working at a nursing home. It involved me literally working non-stop 9am-2pm with no lunch break. I had to feed old people, clean them, dress them, wipe up after them when they went to the toilet, virtually do everything for them. As soon as I got home everyday, I would dread going back the next day. But I did. I managed to stay there for a month before I had to stop because of uni. What I'm trying to say is that at the end of the day, you can't always expect to like a job and earn a wage. I think it's very irresponsible and selfish of you to give up on the job after a few days. Your friend went out of his way to get you that job after all. And you're there on his recommendation are you not? How do you think that makes him look like to the manager?
It's all well and good that you're looking for a different job, but what about now? What the heck is your back up income when you've given up on your current job?
I'm afraid you've taken a step backwards Ryuuchi.
>I managed to stay there for a month before I had to stop because of uni.
Wow a whole month (at one of your first jobs too) OMG yay you!
You sound like a jerk, you work at a rest home for a month and you think you are a goddamn saint do you? You have no right whatsoever to speak about irresponsibility based on this experience because working for one measly month at a 'tough job' and thinking you are somehow in a morally superior position, that is no virtue. A month or a day are both the blink of an eye in terms of employment, you are better off not even mentioning this. If you are going to attempt to preach to this guy at least use a job that you lasted more than a month at as an example.
Granted the most basic message, that OP should try to persevere is fine, it's everything else that makes me want to be sick all over the floor.
>>41
Working at a nursing home and working at Mcdonald's are different in so many ways. If I had to choose between working at a nursing home and Mcdonald's, it would have to be Mcdonald's. Okay, you worked hard nonstop for the job you had in nursing home and I know most of the jobs you take is not something you like or enjoyable at all but hey, I'm trying to find another option that's best suits me, is that so wrong? On recommendation about the job? No. Not at all. He helped me out with the job but he didn't recommend it at all or anything as far as I know. He told me: He can help me out and show me the ropes, it is up to me if I can do it or not, you know what I mean? That's kind of help I'm getting and I'm grateful for it because I don't expect him to fully help me as in helping me with almost everything. Of course, I need to do most of it myself.
>>How do you think that makes him look like to the manager?
Well, I see it that makes him look bad to him but it's not up to him at all. I'm not his responsibility. Sure, he got me the job but it's not up to him to hire him. The manager hired me. Which means it's my sole responsibility for the kind of job I currently have, not my friend's.
>>What the heck is your back up income when you've given up on your current job?
That's my own problem to keep for myself. That's common, isn't it? Money problems.
Anywho, I haven't given the damn job but I am seriously thinking about it. Like I said before, it was more of a chance for me to do something for myself back in my hometown. It's going hard for me and your post isn't really helping me out, it's wearing me down.
------
I didn't go to work today because I have no schedule for today. No work tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. I start working on Saturday and Sunday. I'm off again on Monday. I go back to work on Tuesday and then on Wednesday. That's the schedule I've got so far for this week. My friend told me that I'm one of the few who's getting the at least promising 40 hours. The rest of the newbies like me are getting part time. So, yea I guess considering that, lucky. Otherwise, I end up working part time but hey at least I'm getting paid to work, yea?
I'm still thinking of taking college but the problem is how to get there in means of transportation. Honestly, kinda missed the whole school thing.
Of course, I'm being stressed out for a couple of days now and I kinda missed the things I usually do during the day. During the night, one of their cats would play with my feet while I sleep and that's kind of annoying. Especially when the kids are awake and starts to chase around the cats from where I sleep. Of course, that's annoying too and I can't get a well rest of sleep because of those things. I'm afraid to give a little harmless discipline on the kids because of their parents so I would backfire myself doing nothing to them and they continue to do the annoyance.
I'm thinking more of moving in with my mom. The good chance is coming to where she is next month. I'm not sure how that's going to work out but somehow It'll work out if the plan sets in place.
>>42
Yes it was one month, but like OP, it was my first job, and hence I used it as an example to illustrate worse first jobs he could be doing. There's another guy in /Personal/ who would kill for a job like OP's. The last I heard of him, he was trying to get a job as a garbage collector.
The reason I started working there was because I needed money to buy a car so that I could travel to uni, which is quite far from where I live. I stopped because uni was fulltime, and I'd managed to scrape together enough cash to get the car. I'm not trying to sound morally superior, or a saint; I hated working there. But the fact was that I needed the money, and in a similar situation to Ryuuchi, in order to reach bigger goal, I persevered. Beggars can't be choosers you know. Especially now, with this economic downturn and whatnot, I don't think he should be skipping out on available work just on a whim. And think of how that would look on his resume. Worked in McDonalds for several days. He definitely won't be getting a recommendation from his boss.
Ryuuchi, I'm not saying you can't look for a better job on the side, but have you ever heard of a backup plan? Or security? Have you thought about the consequences of your actions? Who it's going to affect, and how what effect it has on your immediate future? Even if we disregard what you might owe to your friend for the moment, you're not being very responsible to your own job prospects.
>>have you ever heard of a backup plan? Or security?
Yes, I have heard of backup plan and/or security but what do you mean security?
>>Have you thought about the consequences of your actions?
Well, duh. Of course, I do. I'm a deep thinker but a deep thinker like me can only get predicted results and so I obtain the information all I can from myself and others as I can, like consulting my friend to confirm.
>>Who it's going to affect, and how what effect it has on your immediate future?
Me and I wouldn't know how it will effect it on my immediate future. It can't be that bad, won't it?
How am I not being very responsible to my own job prospects. Please, elaborate with me about it. I mean, I still have the job and have not talked with the manager about leaving so far.
sigh Anywho, job is a job. Most people don't like the jobs that they currently have and only some of them grew to either like it or simply end up hating it. All I want to do is to do something for myself because I haven't done anything that may change me and my life over time. It's not all about the job, it's what
I really should do in my life? The job is just there to get me going. That's like, only one of the things that's on the tip of the iceberg. Is it wrong to find another job that I find best suited for me while I keep my current one? Something that I can enjoy or at least satisfied about it?
Honestly, your questions are wearing me down and only to give me worry and doubt for myself. It's like putting me down. I'm trying my best, aren't I? I mean, There are options I can take just right now but it's another situation of gaining and losing at the same time. I just thought if I could just focus on college sometime later in the future, I can get a job that's worth the skills I developed entirely. I don't know about you >>44, but isn't it up to me to decide what's best on my life just as long as I'm taking care of myself and taking it easy?
>> Is it wrong to find another job that I find best suited for me while I keep my current one?
I don't know if you read my post, but I actually said it twice.
>> It's all well and good that you're looking for a different job..
>> Ryuuchi, I'm not saying you can't look for a better job on the side..
No. There's nothing wrong with looking for a better job as long as you're keeping your current one. That's what people usually do. That's what I mean by security.
The impression that you are giving is that you've given up on this job by not turning up for work simply because you didn't feel like it.
>> There was nothing for me but the next day, Tuesday. I slept through. My friend's wife woke me up. She was on her cell, talking to my friend from work. This was around 9:30-ish AM. My friend relaying messages to his wife and was wondering if I can come in for work. The thing is I said: I guess not. Then I went back to bed
Like I also said, this job is not your career. It's simply a job that will get you funded for your bigger goals of college or whatever. In that respect, you don't have to like your job now, just endure it until either another opportunity arises, or you have enough funds to make your next goal happen.
Anyway, if you were happy, and knew what you were doing in life, then of course, I have no right to tell you what I think. But you're the one asking for advice and what to do here. I am simply giving my two cents worth, and trying to get you to think about your actions a little more.
Your biggest problem is that you're a whiner Ryuuchi, seriously stop posting every little god damn thing that doesn't go your way.
waaah what do I do at a dance. Shutup, some people here have real problems.
>>47 Then why reply?
If its such a waste of time then, I see no point in even telling this to op, when numerous others have done so already. I understand what you mean, but not everyone is like you, nor even me. Mocking people is not very nice, why hurt someone when they're already dealing with a crappy life? But no really op, you really need to step up in your game. Sure working at McDonald may suck, but you really didn't give it a try.
Give it more time, and see if nothing changes. You have to learn to endure. Then push forward.
I'm sorry if this sounds like a reiteration of what 46 has already said, but he/she is probably right.
Right now, I'm holding a summer position as a janitor. It's hard work, but I have the freedom to think to myself and do everything my way when I work. I also get paid decent (better than McDonald), plus most of the people I work with are cool. I would recommend taking a look at schools and seeing if they would hire for sub custodians.
Good luck op, and keep trying.
You forget that to Ryuuchi this IS a problem. Comparing starving children in Africa to a kid in America trying to get his head right is completely different. Ryuuchi, to be honest, when you haven't been putting in the necessary work for a certain job or career, life becomes inflexible. You need to realize that while you could quit and focus on school or while you could look for another job, your situation right now won't make either very lucrative. You are going to experience bull on every job you go to, but you can't be reactive about it.
The fact is that you got off your delusional lazy ass, got a job, and got into uni. That, my friend, is truly badass. most people don't have the courage to do that, and you should be proud.
University is competitive as hell. And many people will shun you for being behind. Ryuuchi, in order to be prepared for university, you have to learn discipline. What better way is there than to work? Plus, you probably need the money for school anyways. Keep working bro. Be proactive. If there is something you DON'T want to do at your job or there is something you do want to do, talk to your employer. Let me tell you, employers love it when employees take action. Plus, you'll have necessary life lessons when you do go to school.
University is NOT going to be a picnic for you. Obviously its been a while since you've gone to school. Find a tutor RIGHT AWAY. Make sure you are somewhat involved in school activities. And, most importantly, have some fun along the way. Just remember that you still are going on a journey in life. Do what will ultimately please you the most.
So bucker down, go apologize to your employeer, and get to work. You'll have the weekend anyways.
>>You'll have the weekend anyways.
Unfortunately, I work tomorrow and Sunday too. I don't have the weekends at all.
Let me tell you guys. Okay, I'll endure this damn job. One thing for sure, I'll do it my own way from now on. It seems you guys just look at all this bullshit from me that I'm complaining, whining, or whatever. Well, you know what? Fuck this shit. Whatever. I'll just do it on my own and my own only. I'll let you guys know if I'm life is completely alright and all.
FWP
Fat woman power?
full width penis?
@OP
boy start by changing your way of seeing life.
Full with potential?
Fuck Wide Pussy?
What's going on everyone? It is I, Ryuuchi.
So let's cut the crap with the FWP. It's been about three months and I haven't done anything in my life that's worth doing something.
After my last message and for those who have read the whole thread so far, you know what's going on then.
As of now, I am stayin at my half brother's place while my mother is staying at her co-worker's place so that she can work at her job. She's planning to get my sister out of the Philippines since my sister doesn't like to stay there anymore at all. I felt like it's my fault because I told my mother to come here to the U.S. and help me move out of my friend's place. I know I sound like I am hopeless or something crying out for my mom's help but there is no one else I turn to and to trust none other than my mother and my sister.
Anywho, she finally took the chance to fly over to the U.S. and helped me move out of my friend's place. The reason is, my friend seems to stop helping me out but that's ok. I don't blame him or anything. No hard feelings, right?
So on November 6th, I started staying at my half brother's place and the weeks staying over here is driving me crazy due to extreme boredom. I absolutely don't do anything much as I used to before. I just sleep most of the day, listen to my music, creating stories that I hope to finish and soon get it to have a chance to be published to the public for everyone to read, and watching boring shows and movies on whatever is on TV.
My friend's place was giving me a severe headache because of his three stepkids. I couldn't take anymore so I send messages to my mother to help me move out of my friend's place.
So the real problem is back to the question to where this thread started from the very beginning: What should I do in my life?
Well I've been doing a lot of thinking these past couple of weeks. I'm sick and tired eating my into life of doing nothing. I've had enough of doing things that's been repeated before or that is just wearing me down day by day.
One thing I've been thinking about is I might just join the military. I've heard of the Army having better benefits. Navy is a no-no. Air Force and Marines are my other options. I have plan to join once my mother, my sister, and I are reunited and finally settled to a place we're comfortable living in. I plan to join in the summer or as early as that season. I see that this might be the only option to work my way into a better life besides the roughness the people do in the military.
Right now, I'm waiting for the results of next week. My mother is getting my sister soon this coming week, around the first week of December. My mother and I are hoping things look up soon. Keep the positive vibe up, right? Anywho, in the mean time I'm here staying at half brother's place with extreme boredom and coldness I might add.
>One thing I've been thinking about is I might just join the military.
Well, at least you'll have someone to tell you what to do, so you won't be blocked by your lack of initiative.
But in any case the military will only provide you a buffer to give you time to mature a bit. At the end of the day, you'll still need to find out what you enjoy doing. Why don't you start immideately looking for that?
Sure, why not. I enjoy lots of things. Might give me an example or at least how to start off?
>>62
I second this. Online friend of mine joined USAF after drug problems and depression. Have not heard from him in ages, hope he's still alive but who can say?
>I enjoy lots of things. Might give me an example or at least how to start off?
Start by listing what you enjoy doing.
Damn, I did that when I've been extremely bored for the past couple of weeks. I love and also the feeling of using a computer. Internet is awesome. I love playing video games but I mostly enjoy playing the piano.
I'm thinking real hard about joining the army.
okay I'm sorry to say this but get off you butt and see someone who can help you. Find someone to talk to, to give you the confidence that you need. No one is going to live you're life for you. You determine whether you fail or succeed. I don't really know what else to tell you but take some initiative and start commanding your own life.
>>67
yep, right on the money, but i'm going to be a bigger asshole.
Lookie here, skippy. I've been on this board for all of like 3 years and every time I look around I see your name asking "what should I do with my life" and shit. And for the most part, people have been pretty helpful and kind with their answers. "figure out what you want to do.." "find something your passionate about in life and follow it..." etc. etc. And instead of saying "you're right, I need to explore my passions. Hey, I love to do so and so so I'll find a way to do that. Thanks 4ch" and leaving the damn board your still on here, STILL whining about how you haven't done anything that's worth something.
(please excuse my language, for anyone that offends.)
Look you little shit. Everyone LIVING, everyone here on this fucking cesspool that we call life is searching for the reason why we are here. Why in the fuck do you think that the bigwigs of society haven't said that "I'm done. I've found my life's calling. Time to die!". Because they are still SEARCHING FOR FUCKING ANSWERS. When you die, you don't have all the knowledge of existence. You die without seeing everything unfold afterwords. You aren't allowed to search anymore. The only thing that keeps us on this hamster wheel is the hints along the way. That every moment should be savored, good or bad. That hard work and effort always yields something worthwhile, even if it isn't everything we expect it to be. That knowledge is the most wonderful thing on this crappy planet.
Everyone fucks up. News flash! You aren't special. Wanna know how you can get people to care about your ass? For you to actually give two shits about the life you live and the people that love you. You want to accomplish something? Then look deep down in that hollow crevice of a heart you have and pull out something! It doesn't matter how petty, how dumb, or how socially unacceptable it is. Society is fucking stupid anyways. Look at Transformers by Micheal Bay. Piece of shit, but people love it anyways. Some people think Obama is part of the new goddamn axis of evil and is trying to destroy America along with Lex Luthor and the Legion of Doom! Apparently, according to the skeptic across the street, the Holocaust never happened! Wow, I wonder where those dead jew bodies came from??
Dude, even if you are still living with your mom, thats okay. The fact that she hasn't kicked you out yet shows that she kind of cares for you (though honestly, my mom would have. But there are different kinds of love.) so if it isn't killing her, you're okay. That's how you want to discover live. But let me tell you something Ryuuchi, if you are holding back some sort of brilliant skill, or a beautiful mind that just needs discipline and motivation and I meet you on the street, i'll punch your lights out. We want to see you succeed moron, not waste your life on here. Now go out and live and don't post until you do. Then you'll have REAL problems that we can listen to.
Do you feel like a big man, now that you've kicked a boy while he's down?
>>68
Hey I don't like the negative vibe from you! maybe you have need to tell us about your personal issues to make you feel better.
Ryuuchi isn't down. He's scared. That's why he still feels like he isn't doing anything. He's afraid of getting knocked down. Ryuuchi, once you get knocked around for a few years, you'll understand that it doesn't last. As long as you make some sort of effort, you won't stay down forever. Do you really want to go into the military? I mean, honestly, do you have to go into the Army? Somehow I don't think you do. I think your fear has put you into a corner that you feel like you can't get out of. And fear can do that. Ryuuchi, if you really want to do something in life you have to face your fears. Otherwise, you'll fall. If you feel ashamed for being at home with your mom, don't be. She seems like she loves you and wants to help you. Maybe you should talk to her about it.
I kind of want to hear about your life story...
go kill yourself or stop whining those are your only two options. stop bitching about ur pathetic life and do something with it, if not stop complaining and kill yourself, no one wants to hear you complain if you yourself are not going to do anything to change yourself
Shut up. No really, shut the fuck up. I get tired of people like you who say "Go kill yourself". Hey, why don't you go kill yourself?
Hey Ryuuchi, why don't you start exploring your town? Don't just focus on what you aren't doing, and explore. Wait off on getting a job and look around your environment.