two thoughts I want to leave you with:
- You lack an incredible amount of self-confidence. You have all these opportunities presented to you, and parents who fully supported you in your endeavors. You need to believe in yourself more. Ok so you failed. So what? You get up and try again. You need to first build up your self-confidence and stop focusing on so much what other people think of you. Honestly, who cares what other people think? How does that affect you? Don't answer that because I will: it doesn't. You think it affects you, it isolates you, or ostracizes you from everyone else, but it honestly doesn't. You can take their insults to heart and be a complete faggot about it, or you can ignore them and prove them wrong. It all comes down to how much you want it, and how much you're willing to put the effort into it. So in essence, learn more to rely on yourself, build your self-confidence, and stop trying to please others, especially your parents.
- Stop being so self-centered. What makes you so special that you can give up when times get tough? Everyone goes through their own trials, and of course, they will all vary in difficulty. However, in each of their own mind, these trials are the greatest difficulties that they will ever face. Yet, the people who succeed do not give up. No, you must never give up no matter how hard it gets because in the end, this event will help you grow.
Honestly, all your problems seems to arise from your lack of self-confidence and a desire for acceptance. Develop self-confidence and I guarantee you that alot of your burden will be relieved.