Tithing (21)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-15 11:01 ID:AE5A0Smt

Is a bit of a rip off.

If God needed money he would have miracled himself a winning lottery ticket or robbed a bank and gotten away with it.

Or better yet, did some kind of white collar crime. I mean yeah It'd be pretty neat to have this mental image of God and Jesus robbing a bank in some form of "Heat" style shooting spree where like God is Kane and Jesus is Lynch and God has an SG 551 and Jesus has a Shotgun and they both get away with it.

But really I think that God has enough Jewish lawyers to get out of it even if he went the Heat route...though he'd much more likely pull an Office Space with a program worm and then just let the dividends soak up in Zurich or the Cayman Islands or something.

Really I'm not dogging God, but he's old and rich enough already.

To hell with letting some fat ass 28 year old virgin live large on my dime. He can get out here and hustle like the rest of us.

2 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-15 14:06 ID:Heaven

this is not a personal issue

3 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-15 17:25 ID:4jJqXIX2

Actually yes it is.

It's a personal issue of faith versus reality.

My faith says that God is so rich that whenever we die and go to Heaven we all get to walk streets of gold and get Mansions.

Reality says that some balding, young pup keeps shaking me down for a percentage of my yearly income. 10 Percent. For the church, and by proxy, for God.

Thus conflicting the faith of....

God doesn't need money, he's old and rich


Some balding overeducated dude wants my money to buy cool shit just for telling me how fucked I am once a week.

4 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-15 17:37 ID:caIz6/Kg

world doesnt need god, as it has me (yes, i am superior)

5 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-15 19:23 ID:Ih77AMJW

If you were so awesome, you'd give me money.

6 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-15 20:34 ID:Heaven

No, it is not.
If it is, then I can make a thread about my favorite tv show and call that a personal issue, because I personally enjoy 'Shovin' Buddies'.

Thread goes here:
Or, for more successful trolling, here:
But if you insist on posting this crap, there's already a thread here:
So now you can request deletion of this one here:

7 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-15 20:39 ID:MQoK42+D

Hey look dude, what's your problem?

Just because someone isn't whining about being ronery or discussing how much they jack off or how their real or perceived girlfriend is screwing around on them DOESN'T make this any less a personal issue.

It's a very personal issue and I mean if you don't wish to be constructive then I suggest you just stay out of it.

8 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-15 21:02 ID:lRMv+HT4

> jack off


> girlfriend is screwing around on them


> then I suggest you just stay out of it.

Oh, sorry dude, I'll leave, just don't hurt me

9 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-15 21:13 ID:caIz6/Kg

money is shiiit... go anarchy..

10 Name: Ryuuchi : 2009-07-15 23:56 ID:Heaven

I find this thread ultimately pointless.

11 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-16 01:21 ID:m15gQ+2b


It's bullshit. Get a job like everyone else.

12 Name: sage : 2009-07-16 03:00 ID:Heaven

Normally I don't sage 4chan style but this calls for it.

13 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-16 03:43 ID:tMO1nLEZ

Okay this NOW qualifies as a legit personal issue.

I come here saying "hey man, I think tithing is bullshit and I'm sick of paying for other people's good time. Dude only 'works' once a week and he's getting a lot of money for it"

and people are chumping on me. That's not right. You don't see me going around here and sage bombing and chumping on other people's threads. That's wrong, man. And you all know it.

14 Name: Mr Write : 2009-07-16 04:58 ID:8/fVvspY

Well, originally, tithe money was to be given to the church, so that the church would redistribute the funds to the poor. But, they got greedy and started spending on themselves. Personally, I believe everyone should give some money, just not to the church.

But you didn't care for an explanation, anyway, did you? :P

15 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-16 05:22 ID:tMO1nLEZ


See dude. That's what I'm saying.

I don't mind voluntarily helping people out and trying to help people legitimately less fortunate. Like old people who are forgotten or children who just don't get any food or clothes or the physically disabled. I'm all for that.

I am, however, against giving Shaniqua Jones more money for her Plasma Screen and KFC. And I'm also against some dude who went to Seminary having a freeking '09 Escalade and going on a righteous vacation and living it up when I'm still driving a 1983 Subaru Brat and just trying to make ends meet in a Hope and Change economy.

I mean like...I found out...I mean he doesn't do anything. Anything at all. I mean Gran Torino freaking called it. Just going around to a buncha old women and promising them Heaven and Eternity while just dogging everyone out once a week about how everyone is either so good and so great and going to Heaven or how everyone is an asshole and going to Hell.

And living well off the tithing.

I mean...part of me is both pissed and a little jealous.

I mean....part of me wants to start my own church so I can make fat stacks, get mad laid, and be tax exempt all at the same time.

I can say "Damn", "Hell", and "Jesus" non stop for an hour or two once a week.

These people are running a righteous dodge and I want in!

16 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-16 17:03 ID:Heaven


17 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-16 19:03 ID:KeyI4AER


I'm not your dude, buddy.

18 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-16 19:43 ID:+JGGWoMS

>>17 who's d00d are u then?!

19 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-22 00:00 ID:M7Pl3fM6


No one's.....

You give money to charlatans...who pervert God's words because they have a lack of their own.

God doesn't make the world a shitful place. We do.

We were initially given paradise....and we were the spoilers.

20 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-23 00:33 ID:gk7EWFk2

People use God for their own gains rather than the gains of others. That's why "He" was created; to glorify the human race by making them out to be the "sons" of some all-mighty being that creates all and controls our actions. He doesn't, and He shouldn't. In the distant past, money laundering by the Church was so frequent to the point of it being a natural occurence, but people didn't care. As long as they contributed their earnings to the priests, they'd get into Heaven and have a fine and dandy time partying in the sky. It's almost awe-inspiring how we humans have the power to manipulate millions with such a primitive form of control.

I don't want to be completely one-sided, so I will say that this God does inspire hope and passion in those once devoid of it, which can be a plus. But at the same time, the fact that they have to look to a fake diety to tell them what to do and how to act just screams ignorance and extreme falliblity. Help yourselves by believing in YOU first and foremost.

Anyways, I agree with OP.

21 Name: Anonymous : 2009-07-28 17:38 ID:y+JGxuaL

A while back I was listening to a Dave Ramsey (christian/republican radio host) and whenever a listener calls in with a question, the tithing always gets a pass.

For example, once this guy called into his show and he had like $30000 in debt, and he had like a $3000 house payment, $1000 car payment, something else in college debt, but he said $700 a MONTH in tithing to the church. Ramsey SAID NOTHING ABOUT THAT! In fact, tithing always get a pass on his show. Mother fucker could have said $10000 a month in tithing, Ramsey says nothing.

Now I am an atheist but I know I would not be giving jack shit to a church if I am in financial trouble.

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