>>5, I agree with you about it being suppression of survival instinct, and a disease at that. Sometimes even an animal in shock will get depression to the point where it stops moving and starves; perhaps suicide is not only a human activity.

Being bipolar, I can notice definite cycles of behavior for myself, and this experience proves to me that depression is real. Sometimes life feels worth living, as I can see all options open, even ones that don't truly exist. Other times, I am trapped in a nigh-suicidal dirge that will not stop playing. Luckily things are rarely so extreme. I don't want to be this way, inhibited from feeling joy at creating anything, my productivity drops to nil. Feelings dampen, and the innate lack of purpose in the universe becomes an oppressive emotion in itself.

However, I think a great many depressed people might suffer from a lack of willpower for change. Though perhaps this is self-condemnation speaking. It doesn't help that society has acted as if depression and mental illness are cool. Things that are linked to suicide, like cutting, are suddenly normal. I hate this, because those who try to act ill that I know are incredibly healthy. I hate the 'hip' depression.

But depression is not an excuse. Nor is it worth ending your life over; there is medication and almost always a way. But, I cannot do this anymore, I have only life to lose so I build rather than destroy. Somehow this is ironic. Today has not been a good day.