I think it's interesting that there seem to be as many variations in symptoms as there are sufferers. It seems that every personality has a different way of reacting to it, and it can be hard I think for many people to confuse symptoms and personality traits.

In my case, I've only recently seriously started considering that I'm suffering from "depression" as a disease, and started looking at my behavior objectively, like symptoms; those scientifically observable traits that are there whether you will them or not. (It's also funny that I would deny or ignore all of this even after being diagnosed with some kind of mild depression 3 years ago the first time around.)

And when you take a step back and do that [look at your behavior objectively], it becomes hard to deny that something's eating you up and you're not just "lazy" or "unmotivated" or "bored with school" (although how would I know it if I was?).

Funny thing is once I start "being honest" with myself (or am I just manufacturing a medical excuse to cover for my Failure?) I start to actually "feel depressed" which is something I've never really done or recognized before. (one might argue that my general lack of emotional responsiveness is a clear sign of depression as well, but...)

I really have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of depression as a "disease" as opposed to an activity. People are always "being" depressed sometimes for a day, sometimes for 5 years, but people are never "being" cancer or diabetes. Depression is a role we take up it seems like "student" or "slacker" or "guilty person" "loser".

I don't know...