I've been feeling apathetic and depressed for the past couple of days. I recently went on a trip to Vegas, which was fun, but I've felt this way before and after the trip (In other words, the awesome trip didn't really help out).

I'm the typical loser - I've got lots of video games, anime to watch, and a lot of time to kill doing absolutely nothing. However, I've begun to lose interest in my hobbies as well. Since I've been back from Vegas, I really haven't wanted to play a game or watch anime. I haven't wanted to talk to any of my "friends" that I have online, and I have no friends outside the internet. Basically I've just felt detached from everything.

I think I know what it is I want, but it's something I've always been afraid of - I want to have friends. My material possessions no longer seem to keep my interest, so I want something else. However, I feel like there's a million things keeping me back from opening up to people. Here's a few:

1. I'm very shy. I'm scared of opening up for countless reasons, like I'm not cool enough, or that people will misunderstand and judge me, that I'm annoying, etc.;
2. People think I'm creepy. It's not that I do creepy things, its just that as a combination of being shy, I seem to have a serious look on my face at all times (which people think I look like some kind of killer) which makes me look creepy. Or something like that.
3. I don't know how to communicate. I've always hated small talk and I don't know how to carry a conversation.

I've already taken some action by...buying some self-help books online on social anxiety and communication. I doubt it'll help, but I just thought it might be worth a read. I plan to get contacts soon (because I think my glasses make me look too serious) and I think I might try shopping for some different clothes.

But uh...anyway, I have two problems. One, I've felt detached from the things I enjoy, and two, I feel like I want to start opening up and make friends, but I'm petrified of the idea.

Are you still with me? Well, there's one last problem I didn't mention: I've been afraid of my future. This is probably whats really making me depressed. I'm halfway towards getting an associate's degree for computer networking, but I simply don't know where I'm going to go after it. I feel like my life is basically over already because I doubt I'll ever get anywhere with my degree, I have no friends to help me with anything, I have a low-end part-time job, and basically no guidance for anything. I'm the youngest in the family and my parents will eventually die and I have no idea what'll happen if they do. So that makes three.

I know I've covered a lot and I'm not even sure what to ask, but I have these problems and I don't know what to do or what to tell myself. Can anyone offer some advice? Hell, just anyone to tell me that my life isn't over? Because it really feels like it is already.