Trials and Tribulations; Hikikomori Recovery (10)

1 Name: CJ : 2009-09-01 00:55 ID:0dEXHECn

I've decided on taking nightly jogs to get into better shape, perhaps becoming fit will bring me more self confidence, then again those are only words and don't mean anything until I actually do it. This is day one & i'm about to head out..just need a hoodie and a hat and I'll be set. Ive yet to contact a mentoring program more or less because i'm afraid to I just have to keep reassuring myself that people do want to help someone like me. Btw my name is CJ i will continue to keep you posted. Arggh im so nervous x.o hope my neighbors don't see me!

2 Name: Anonymous : 2009-09-01 04:43 ID:EWLsNYlr

Best of luck to you! Put headphones with your favorite music on, they help not focusing too much on your surroundings.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2009-09-01 04:49 ID:4rh4ZxKc

If your neighbors keep regular schedules like most people, then you shouldn't worry too much 'bout being seen.

Good luck in your journey to gaining more self-confidence!

4 Name: Anonymous : 2009-09-01 10:33 ID:lLfdVGTO

Good idea CJ. Jogging and exercising in general improves ones mood. Why do you worry about the neighbors?

5 Name: cj : 2009-09-02 02:35 ID:0dEXHECn

Ah sorry for taking so long, spent the day staring at the ceiling deep in thought Well I managed to make it out last night and jogged for about 20mins until a neighbor saw me and tried to start up a conversation. I said something to him, not sure what something about having to check the washer and ran back home I spent a couple of hours wondering why he was outside so late, came up with a theory that he knew I was going to be jogging somehow and was looking to get some laughs by watching me & trying to talk to me. Thinking like this isn't good, I don't think i'll be going out tonight..this is day 2

6 Name: Anonymous : 2009-09-02 02:40 ID:4rh4ZxKc

Twenty minutes is good! You're definitely making progress.

I would give your neighbor the benefit of the doubt and not assume that he's trying to ridicule you. Don't worry 'bout everyone else, and focus on your own recovery, which is most important.

Keep it up!

7 Name: Anonymous : 2009-09-02 05:48 ID:HisTeI5c

You worry too much of people laughing at you, which is very self-centered (you are always thinking that people are thinking about you, evaluating you, etc). What you don't realize is that people don't care that much about you, they are also self centered. The good part of that is that by default they won't think about laughing at you. I know it's hard to dispel that impression (after all, that's the main reason you end up being an hikikomori), but you need to work on that: people have their own issues, they are not always thinking about you and your limitations.

Aside from that, jogging is a good initiative, but you should also work on you social skills. No need to aim high. Just decide that you'll greet your neighbours, and have a bit of small talk, if it's appropriate. Don't fear it too much, it will stay small talk (stuff like the weather, etc). Don't refuse contact. Accept it but keep it short in a polite manner (it's not hard, just say that you have to continue your jogging, etc. Think about it beforehand, so that you don't get too nervous).

8 Name: CJ : 2009-09-15 09:43 ID:0dEXHECn

I haven't posted on here for awhile and I just wanted to let you all know whats going on. Remember my neighbor that freaked me out? Well he approached me again during one of my nightly jogs, and I actually talked to him. He knew what was going on to a point, and offered me a job to help me & my family out. I took his offer and now things are much better, I'm not stuck in my room anymore I'm working 6pm-3am which are good hours for me since I usually stay awake until about 6am. I'm working in a warehouse and I am feeling a whole lot better about myself. It's amazing how things change so quickly. I may still have some social problems but I am no longer a Hikikomori. Thank you all for your advice, I have to say you were the turning point in my life, and this wouldn't have happened without your positive feedback, yes I know the change happened from me but your support played a major roll. =] Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.

9 Name: Anonymous : 2009-09-15 20:04 ID:3U1lVmOK

>my neighbor that freaked me out? Well he [...] offered me a job to help me & my family out.

Just goes to prove that help is available if one allows oneself to be helped.

>I have to say you were the turning point in my life

It is extremely uplifting to read this, even if of course caveats apply.

>this wouldn't have happened without your positive feedback

This was only possible because you took the initiative of expressing yourself, and in doing so to reach out for the others. So the first step out of the hikikomori state was when you started typing.
Anyways, thanks for reporting to us, and best of luck to you!

10 Name: Anonymous : 2009-09-15 21:46 ID:CeQRGZWM

Congrats, OP! I hope the job works out well!

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