I am a lonely college student. I make acquaintances, but as amiable as they are, they do not progress into anything deeper, so I am not invited to things, nor am I in a position to invite anybody I know to things.
In an attempt to gain friends, I have joined so many clubs and activities that my schedule is packed. Yet even with all these, I never make it past the "acquaintance" stage with people in these clubs/activities, as noted above. Then when I finally come home at the end of the day, I turn to the Internet to feed my social needs, which only makes me lonelier.
I'm not really looking for advice. I already have a pretty good idea of what I should do: stop whining about it on the Internet, get off my ass, and make a stronger effort to get to know people. But whining is easier.
what you need to realize is that making life long friends takes...well...a lifetime. Stop worrying about what you don't have or who you don't have a relationship with, and just live life the very best that you can.
I agree with >2. It´s nice to have friends only as long as they are for spontaneous reasons. And most of the times,the number isn´t the important thing but the quality of them. I feel people tend to call "friend" anybody, but that´s not how it works for me.
And yes,the internet isn´t that great but I think it does help to develop deep bonds even if you don´t meet the other person for real. The ideal would be to have both,virtual and face-to-face friends. One thing doesn´t disqualify the other.
Good luuuuuuuck. You can always count on some people :)
You could use social networks on the internet to reinforce bonds with people you already met IRL. I have learnt to know many people like this, met them once or twice, added them, and then after a few mail exchanges, comments on stuff etc. you're not a stranger anymore. If they're used to you, it's easy to call them to fetch a drink or so.
While I am married, I am lonely as well. I do not have any friends, in or outside of work, yet my wife has many friends and goes out to hang with them.
A couple of jobs back my boss would take out the team to happy hour and stuff but I never saw anybody there outside of work. Where I am now that never happens. I work on one project and closely on another project. There are only 2 people on my project (myself and the project manager) and the PM seems to be winning friends and influencing people all over the place. In my BSA role, I am playing the part of the worker horse basically, just talking to people when I need to.
On the other project, there is a team of 5 people and they seem to work well with me but on occasion when I have tried talking with a couple of them on a personal, friendship building level, I cannot seem to get anywhere.
Last Tuesday, I ran into their Project Manager in the cafeteria and it seemed at first we were just talking but when after she paid for her drink she literally just walked off when I was still in mid sentence talking! I was still fishing out money to pay for my food and I thought she was to my side. When I saw her again she was almost back upstairs! I have seen her twice since then and she has not said anything to me. Perhaps it is because I am 5'4" tall and she is 5'10". Maybe she cannot see me?
I have had lunch with her team as well but the conversation seems almost cold but last week, I was in the cafeteria and saw the whole group there seeming to be laughing and enjoying each other. A far change from my experience when having lunch with them.
I honestly do not get it. There are a couple of attractive females on that team, one is married, the other (I think) is single but it is not likely I am interested in either one of them. I am married and it took me 30 years to get her to tell me yes more often than her say no.
I am guessing I am not a people person and just do not have friends because people just do not see me as a friend-type person or maybe I come off as "he is not a friend type person" without realizing it. Back in high school and college I accepted the fact I had no friends (or girlfriends either, I met my wife online) but I figured being an adult, I would have people that I could call "friends".
I think people interact with me because: 1) they must do so to do their job or 2) if they want something from me.
I did not mean to rant but I do see where OP is coming from. I guess what I am saying is it does not change when you get into the workforce and pretend to have a career.