I think it started about 5 years ago when I smoked a lot of weed and started getting paranoid about a lot of stuff... you know the usual stoner freakouts, nothing unusual apart from one aspect of it...
The paranoia pretty much stopped when I gave up the weed, but I have a remaining and reoccurring fear/thought (?) that I am racist. Um, which I'm not as far as I know :)
Whenever I see people of certain ethnic backgrounds I start worrying that they might think I'm racist, and maybe they think I'm looking at them funny, and that I need to act normally, which maybe means I'm not acting normally, and then they think I'm racist. Stupid I know but it is a self-feeding loop that I can't seem to escape from, it happens pretty much everyday.
What should I do... do I need to get help from a psychologist? Is this OCD?
You're doing a variant of being too self-conscious. As usual people suffering from it think people care about them much more than they do.
In those concentrate more on the people themselves rather than what they may think about you.
I am sociophobic, so I have a similar problem, thinking people care about my outlook and behavior when they obviously don't.
The simple solution is to ban offending thoughts as they appear.
Non-thinking is a quick help in severe cases.
>> Is this OCD?
Sure sounds like it.
If it really keeps bothering you, go find a good psychologist to talk to about it. It'll help.
You're probably raciest. Do you have any non-(your race here) friends? The sooner you accept it the better you'll feel.
Spend time with people of other ethnic groups, because the obsessive thoughts are only exacerbated by lack of exposure.
I had this problem though nowhere near as bad, then I went to an international school for several years at first I was quite uncomfortable but soon got used to it. Ironically when I came back to my tiny rural and 100% Caucasian town I was uncomfortable about the excessive homogeneity of the place.