High school bored the hell out of me, and I was living with my abusive father for the first year and a half of high school, so I got off to a rough start. However, I started doing college classes, and I excelled there, in an environment full of people years years older than me. However, the abuse escalated and I ran away, and the next few years of academia got progressively worse. I eventually ended up a bit of a druggie, and while I'm not physically addicted to any drugs, my social life revolves entirely around drugs. I enrolled full time in a community college last summer, and, after a year of utter degradation at school, I sort of fucked it up. Majorly. As of now my GPA is a 2.8. Enter this year. I totally over scheduled myself with work and school, and am completely fucking it up. I am currently failing all but two classes, have just dropped one class that I had no hopes of passing, and have only two more which I think I can pass if I work my ass off. There is one class that I have no idea if I can pass or not, and it is (unfortunately) my math class. I am a math major.

Now, all of this, to me and me alone, doesn't really matter. I just started, and since I realized that if I didn't get my shit in gear I was going to flunk everything, study habits that I haven't used in years are starting to resurface. I figure, starting next semester, and all subsequent semesters, I should be able to do quite well. However, there are a few problems. I am living with my mother and my college is paid for solely by her, as we don't qualify for financial aid. This means she sees my grades, and is essentially planning my future for me. Luckily we have the same goals, but my grades don't reflect that. Last month, when I was doing slightly better, I told her that my GPA was going to be around a 3.2 this semester, and I told her I was going to drop this class and she understood. My schedule really was/is horrible. But now, I'm looking at (maybe) a 2.5 gpa, and I don't even know if I can pass this class. Also, as I said, I'm a math major, and I really need this math class to go on. Also, There's the plan. The plan is for me to transfer to a good college at the end of next summer, and if I do well, my GPA will definitely be good enough to get in.... But if I have to drop this class, I (a) won't have enough credits by the end of next summer unless I work my ass off, (b) won't be able to do higher level maths as quickly, which I want, and (c) will have wasted tons of my mother's money.

I'm planning on emailing my professor to see what I can do about this one class, but here's yet another problem: I need a B in this class to go on to the next class in the sequence. Even if I can convince her to give me some extra credit, how the hell am I going to convince her to let me do enough work to get a B? The course I'm in only covers half of the book, and I'm planning on asking her if I do the rest of the chapters for a B, but she could quite easily just say "no", as one of my other professors has said when I've requested some form of extra credit.

I fucked up last summer, too, and when my mom found out (on my birthday, at the beginning of the semester, when she was withdrawing from Zoloft) she flipped the fuck out. I already felt like shit because I'd fucked up so bad (a D, a C, and a B), and then she flipped the fuck out, and I felt even shittier. I told her that I'd do better this semester, and I really, truly meant it. And then I fucked up.