I hate myself. I despise the person that I am and as much as I try I haven't been able to break this idea about myself. How can I love the person that I am?
You are valuing yourself based on what you THINK other people think of you. You can't read their minds, someone out there might really love you. Unless you're hideously ugly, everyone's had a secret admirer. Remember that. Someone admired you. Maybe they still do?
2 is right in that if you don't base your judgments of yourself on what others think of you, you won't hate yourself. Other people may be important to you, but why should you let their opinion of you get you down? If you like the way you are, that's more than good enough. If you don't like the way you are, I can't help but suspect, like 2 does, that the only reason you dislike the way you are is because you think other people dislike the way you are.
You are the center of your universe. Although your own opinions and your own happiness may sometimes coincide with that of others, it generally won't, and it doesn't matter even if it doesn't -- you have absolutely no reason to let others' opinions get in the way of your own happiness. In fact, you have every reason not to let that happen, and what's more, you have the power to choose to either let it bother you or not let it bother you. So just be the you that you feel is right for you, and fuck what the haters might say, if they're actually saying anything at all.