Trying to like my boyfriend's best friend (22)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2009-11-19 03:32 ID:MZt/z/ud

So for some reason, I really dislike my boyfriend's best friend. Even when we first met I never really liked her. She's kind of annoying and immature, but other than that I guess she's a pretty friendly person.
Then during the summer we broke up, and a few months ago they went out with each other. But then he dumped her to get back with me and they both said they just mistook their friendship for romantic feelings. Ok, I understand that. But even though she said she didn't even like him to begin with, she still forbade me from hanging out with him that one time. Which adds on to the reason I don't like her. I mean if you didn't really care about him that much then why stop us from hanging out?
Anyway, since me and my boyfriend have been together for two years, I think I should try and make an effort to like his best friend at least. And I really am trying. When she wants to talk, I'll talk to her. And being completely honest, she really is a friendly girl. But no matter how hard I try (or not try) I can't like her! She just seems so immature and annoying! Help?

2 Name: Anonymous : 2009-11-19 15:11 ID:/ybBIgH+

Just drop your boyfriend and go for someone with less drama attached.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2009-11-19 18:27 ID:HvxfX1aC

just tell your boyfriend that you dont like her, but dont make him choose between you and her. Just calmly talk to him and say, i dont like her, i and i dont like hanging out with her. He shouldnt feel that he has to listen to his best friend over his girlfriend or visa verca.

4 Name: Anonymous : 2009-11-20 05:01 ID:MZt/z/ud

I already told him I don't particularly like her and he said he doesn't mind. I still feel like a nagging kind of girlfriend for it though, and think I should at least semi-enjoy her prescence for my boyfriend's sake. I just want to like her naturally, not because I'm forcing myself to... If that makes any sense...

5 Name: Anonymous : 2009-11-20 07:45 ID:FAn0KTXN

>>4 you should not force to like her. But you can do your best to improve the times you have to spend with her. If you are in the mindset that you have to like her, you'll just end up hating her the more.

It's ok, she's not your friend. You can be polite and accept to spend time with her, but you should never try to bend your mind.

6 Name: Anonymous : 2009-11-20 22:52 ID:BbRXuCCf

Eat her out when your boyfriend is away. It will ease the tension.

7 Name: Anonymous : 2009-11-22 05:46 ID:C5BcrE6k

Do you have anything in common with her at all? It's easier to tolerate someone if you both have something you can talk about openly with each other.

You don't have to like her. Everyone has someone they dislike. You just need to tolerate her.

8 Name: Anonymous : 2009-11-22 06:25 ID:55LW1L+U

Fuck her, OP you won, you got the man now rub it in her face by being super lovey dovey around her.

9 Name: Anonymous : 2009-11-24 05:50 ID:MZt/z/ud

We do have some stuff in common. We're both art students I guess. I don't know much about other interests though, we're just different kinds of girls. I generally tend to get along well with other people, though, even if we're different. I just don't get why I don't like her that much.
My boyfriend understands I don't like her and doesn't make me hang out with her or anything, but do you think I should? Just so we can talk more? Cause she studies out of state and is back for holiday for a few days, so it's not like I really talk to her anyway.

10 Name: Anonymous : 2009-11-24 12:52 ID:/q94BlIn

i feel your pain OP. see my i hate my girlfriend's good friends thread. granted i'm probably more of a douche but yeah i know how it feels to have to hang around your partner's friends whom you don't like...anymore of it and i might need anger management classes

11 Name: Anonymous : 2009-11-25 05:05 ID:xIeC/vOF

I wouldn't tell the boyfriend you don't like his friend. This leaves you at a tactical disadvantage because you've exposed a weakness. Ultimately your boyfriend will tell his friend your feelings about her if there's some perceived benefit in his mind.

Always remember, women are after emotional fulfillment and quality in a relationship whereas men are after physical fulfillment and quantity.

tl;dr If he can fuck her and you at the same time, he will. Men are experts at playing both ends against the middle. You're all just trophies or achievements to him.

12 Name: Anonymous : 2009-12-07 07:07 ID:7VtYZo2V


Way to be jaded, jerk.

13 Name: test!!sDQmMqhI : 2009-12-07 07:28 ID:fwsf8CUh


14 Name: Anonymous : 2009-12-07 20:17 ID:pqG44F8i


Honestly, you should really voice how you feel if she bothers you that much. You may be able to hide it, but there will always be a tension there that your boyfriend will be able to see between you and her. Just be straight and tell him. If he doesn't understand, that's his problem.

15 Name: Anonymous : 2009-12-08 03:19 ID:MZt/z/ud

Well I did tell him that I don't find her to be the most appealing person in the world. He said he really doesn't mind it, and that I don't even ever have to see her again. But every time I hear about them hanging out together or talking about "deep" and "personal" stuff [whatever THAT is] it kind of bothers me. I know it makes me pretty immature and greedy to feel that way, though. And she's trying so hard to be friends with me I feel like an ass if I don't try too.

16 Name: Anonymous : 2009-12-11 16:05 ID:pqG44F8i


Yikes. Looks like it's more than just her being annoying. The fact that you feel guilty really is more of a "bitch back the fuck up" concealed within your good intent. Look, your a good person. You wouldn't be if you just kept it inside and blew up about it. But you really need to be honest. Perhaps if this was something that occurred once in a blue moon it wouldn't be that big of a deal, but it sounds like it happens often, and you have to put up with her often. Be completely straight. What do you REALLY think about her....

17 Name: Anonymous : 2009-12-13 07:26 ID:83IqE2D8

Sure, she's wronged you, but I think you're forgetting that your boyfriend is at fault in this too.

18 Name: Anonymous : 2009-12-13 14:01 ID:QXuyuy8N

Just ask your boyfriend why is she his best friend.

19 Name: Anonymous : 2009-12-19 19:54 ID:cuTqByyc


REALLY, I hate her. But not only because of what happened between her and my boyfriend over the summer. I've hated her since we met. It was just one of those things where you meet someone and automatically don't really like them. She's really annoying, and yeah I DO hate her. But the problem is she wants to be my friend so badly I just feel like I should at least try to like her, even a little bit.

20 Name: Anonymous : 2009-12-19 21:32 ID:pqG44F8i


If you hate someone, hate them. Building up someones hopes just to crush them later when she starts to annoy the fuck out of you is worst than just saying, "Look, your nice and all, but I really don't want to be friends with you." Or drop some sort of subtle hint that you hate her. Or you could try to be her friend, who knows, there could be something underlying her annoying nature. I just know from experience that if you try to become friends with someone you hate out of guilt you will get frustrated and go through some annoying shit. Just saying.

21 Name: Anonymous : 2010-01-02 08:04 ID:kJWV0rff

So should I just ignore her existence... I've tried to just ignore the fact that she's present in his life, but anytime he mentions her or even if something comes up that reminds me she's still around, I get pissed off.

22 Name: Anonymous : 2010-01-09 01:32 ID:775KqyWr

I think its important that the person you are with is considerate of your feelings even if he does not understand why you feel the way you do or agree with it. Thats what makes a relationship is the fact that the person you love realizes something is bugging you and tries to address it or minimize these feelings of yours. Honestly...if you are feeling insecure or unhappy about something, it is half his fault even if on face he has done nothing wrong. You are not necessarily forcing him to choose, but if he truly cares for you...he will take it in his hands to try to do something to stop these feelings you are having even if it means minimizing the amount of time he spends with her. That is what makes a boyfriend a responsible one.

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