OP must give to get, but why not some basics.

I have some adderall, but I don't take it anymore, I currently take a sleep aid (mildly antidepressant?) and two antidepressants, one of which i believe is also a stimulant. Mild stuff, if you want names I can give them, but I don't feel that it's important. On the current set of meds for six months so far, I avoided the idea like the plague because I felt as if my family had motives for putting me on something. To make things worse I started tripping from a reaction to some prescription and that scared me off drugs all too well. Thusly, in the past I've been off and on, considering the chaotic nature of my family.

At some points earlier I had opportunities for friends and marijuana that I passed up for more reasons of fear than morality. If I had taken those chances, MJ is an antidepressant, so even a little time off from being crazy maybe would have saved a couple years of my life (at the point I had it offered the most, I was hearing voices, suicidally depressed, and too creeped out to take it). Now I am out of high school, no success story, looking for a job. There's a lot more, but I wanna hear from op.