as the title says; i wrote a letter to my parents explaining my feelings about, well, everything. My mom is a case manager who deals with people who have problems like mine, so i think she would be able to know what to do. I don't feel like there is anybody else who could help me other than them. I know its selfish to force such negative feelings onto my parents, but i've pretty much run out of options and feel that if i don't do something soon it might get even worse. I know you guys don't know my parents but if you were in my position would you send the letter?
You could go to a doctor, and get a script or get a referral to counseling or some such.
If you think that your parents really can help, and you know for a fact that they aren't at least a partial cause, then go for it. I know if I had a relationship with my parents good enough to trust them with something like that, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Though >>2 makes a good point- you should see a third-party counselor or somesuch. You may not need a doctor's referral. If you're enrolled in school, there should be either counselors or a school psychologist of some sort. At my college there's a free (well, paid for by student fees) separate counseling center that has psychologists and a psychiatrist that can prescribe stuff if they feel you need it.
>aren't at least a partial cause
And by this I mean a partial cause of your depression, just to clarify.
i actually have gone to my universities counseling center on several occasions, but they are the type of counselors who only listen and don't really try to be proactive about helping you. It did kind of help to get my feelings off my chest but didn't help for long as i began to realize that my problems hadn't really left.
Are you sure they're all like that?
You could find out if some of them practice different forms of counseling and then find out what those would consist of.
Maybe one of them practices a form that could appeal to your particular circumstances.
I'd definitely send it.
When I become a parent, I think the greatest fulfillment I could have would be to be there for my child in their time of need, whether I could actually help or not.
I mean, that's what family is for.
I will play the Devil's Advocate.
Do not send it. Would you want to receive such a letter? What do you expect them to do about it? Misery loves company, but misery is as contagious as any disease.
Smile. Pretend nothing is wrong. Go on with your life.
Send it. Your parents will be glad to help. Reaching out to the people you know love you is the absolute best thing you can do.
so i still haven't made up my mind about whether or not to send it. I know that i have trusting and loving parents that would do anything for me, but thats what makes it so hard! I just don't want to make them suffer for my own problems even if it means i have to suffer.
So i actually had an idea, it may be cowardly but it might end up being better for them. I was thinking of rewording the letter to make it sound like i was a friend of mine telling them that i was concerned for me. It's underhanded but i think that the indirectness might be better at least on their part, any thoughts?
I don't like the idea of writing it as if it's from a friend. But maybe that's what you need. And maybe that would work best for them as well. Since I don't know you or your parents, I can't say.
But I can say that, if you were my child, I would want to be addressed in a direct way. This way you could tell me much more, whereas if you were a "friend" you could would be limited in what you could write. You couldn't write about your thoughts and so on.
If you actively reached out to me, I would know you were serious about needing help and would be able to connect with you about that right away, but if it's just a concerned friend it would be more gradual and less serious (since you yourself apparently didn't feel you were in such bad shape). Maybe, if you write it like it's from a friend, your parents will call or visit and then determine you're alright after all...
Go ahead and send it. I think most parents would want their children to tell them if anything was seriously wrong.
I wish that I could tell my family members about any issues that I have, but due to certain problems, it's extremely difficult for me to do. These communication problems between my parents and I have kinda corralled me into the counseling and medication path. I do get good use of my uni's psychiatric and psychological services, but I know that being able to clearly discuss this sort of thing with my parents would be extremely helpful.
send it!