How do I trust ... ? (3)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2010-06-02 04:02 ID:oGhpKe73

This thread is not about myself, it's about my beloved girlfriend.

My girlfriend has a history of depression. We were fine for a while. Then, suddenly, she started acting very out of character. When I called her out on it, I discovered a late-stage suicide plot, of which I had been kept in the dark for a long time. If I hadn't intervened, she probably would've been dead the next week. I had NO idea...she had been expertly hiding it from me until the end. And as I tried to talk her down from it, she had this look in her eyes, I believed, I KNEW she was completely serious. She's tried to kill herself before.

I got her help - she saw a counselor - she's alive.

Some things still nag at me, though.

The day I talked her down, she agreed with me to try living longer, not that she would never try to do so again. In fact, she told me "I can't promise that I won't try again."

The stealthiness of how she planned it scares the hell out of me. I had literally no clue what was going on until a week before she was going to do it! And she came so close to doing it. Literally the next week, I would've lost her.

Last but not least, to my knowledge, she hasn't yet thrown away the material she bought for her suicide plot, meaning she has made it so that she can restart her plot at any time. All she needs is the final component and I might find her dead in her room tomorrow, the day after, next week...

I find myself second-guessing her words, worrying that she's lying to me again and that she's going to disappear silently at any moment.

What do I do?

2 Name: Anonymous : 2010-06-02 06:21 ID:HdEeMQu2

I don't know what you can do for her other than to be there, with your compassion and loving-kindness. We can't change other people, only they can change themselves.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2010-06-03 05:54 ID:PQM2Gel/

I think you're doing all you can, really. The only thing more you could do is try to have her committed, and I wouldn't advocate for or against something like that.
Just remember that if you were to lose her (and I know it's an awful thought), that nothing you did or didn't do is at fault. It's ultimately her actions that will determine the course of her life.

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