No problem but not good (9)

1 Name: VincentCalavera : 2010-06-04 08:22 ID:xIEzBDz+

Hi, first time posting here :)

I have "almost" everything a man of my age (25) wants: I have a job in practise (in which I earn a little money) and the chance of a contract in september, I have a girlfriend since 6 years who loves me and which I love, I have tons of friends... but I don't feel like everything goes right... And I don't know what is wrong in my life, i'm not fully happy.

2 Name: Anonymous : 2010-06-04 19:38 ID:1shq47Z0

You'll never be fulfilled with these things alone. Happiness isn't something you get from people and things around you. Happiness is in your own mind, it comes from cultivating yourself.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2010-06-10 09:43 ID:f+2xSiFO

Could you elaborate? (I'm not OP.)

4 Name: Anonymous : 2010-06-11 05:24 ID:2ZiiuJim

Every kind of satisfaction you get out of external phenomena is temporary, fleeting. Whenever a drug, or a game, or a pleasant conversation, or having sex, makes you feel satisfied, you are quickly unsatisfied. You need another fix to get that feeling again, but it often becomes less and less satisfying the more you do it.

Think about it- can you play the same level in the same game over and over again and still have it be as enjoyable as the first time you did it?

Can you spend all of your time, 24/7, for years and years with a significant other and still find her as pleasant as when you were initially attracted to her?


So, clearly, happiness is not inherent in these things, because if it were they would always, objectively result in happiness when you associated with them.

And whether it is even enjoyable at all is dependent on how you relate to it.

So, it is then that happiness is something that comes from your mind and is not reliant on things outside of you. (not to say all external phenomena play absolutely no role in any aspect of happiness, however).

Therefore, relying on things like relationships and toys to provide happiness is inevitably going to lead to dissatisfaction.

In order to find happiness you have to cultivate it within yourself. The way you view phenomena in general, the qualities and habits of your mind.

5 Name: Dæmon : 2010-06-13 07:55 ID:ejvYvQGP

>>4 hmm, very detailed. good job, thanks for teaching me this

6 Name: Mr Write : 2010-06-16 06:11 ID:X8cmPtCT

To re-iterate what has been said here in a little more detail, half of your world is in your mind. Essentially, your own reality is your interpretation of the external. By changing how you interpret the world, you can influence how it affects yourself.

In other words, just try to appreciate what you have a little more. You've little reason to not enjoy life, anyway. If you don't feel that way, perhaps you need to broaden your perspective. There is true suffering worldwide, you know.

By the way, smiling can also partially be a cause for happiness, not just the effect. Try doing that more too.

7 Name: Anonymous : 2010-07-01 00:43 ID:SA/GUZqU

Wow so much buddhism on /personal/ but nobody ever mentions it directly :)

8 Name: Anonymous : 2010-07-03 04:23 ID:r2ojaH8n


Not necessarily Buddhism. These are merely common themes of life.

9 Name: Anonymous : 2010-07-15 20:02 ID:lZb1x323


glad they're still people that have enough common sense without quoting something religious (dont mean to diss religions)

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