Life changing decision ... (8)

1 Name: Clueless : 2010-06-23 20:47 ID:ZxvI0ZJ7

Just like the title stated, I need some advice ...

First, here are some background:

  • A guy
  • Asian
  • Just turned 28! woohoo!
  • Graduated with BS in CS and minor in Math. I got an associate in networking too but who cares about that? >_>;
  • Currently working in a good company, salary is decent.

Which path should I take? My choices are:

A) Go to graduate school, continue to work at my current company, continue to date, find someone/get married in the state, have a kid(s) etc etc.

B) Go back to my home country, find a job, start dating, find someone/get married, wait till my kid(s) are old enough like in elementary then move back.

Basically I want my kid(s) to learn about his/her family culture? I came to the state when I was little and even though I'm fluent in both languages (and thank god no accent) I don't think I can teach my kid(s) their traditional language/custom.

Any suggestions?

2 Name: Anonymous : 2010-06-24 00:38 ID:T4+OFkHX

A. Why would you want to get off this gravy train you're on? Going B is gonna make that kid's life a lot harder than what it would've been if you just stayed. Also, you are not your kid. Just because it might've been easy for you, it cannot be said the same for what your kid will go through.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2010-06-24 09:33 ID:K7nBsjDJ

I would actually go for B myself. I have a good friend who lived overseas for a good chunk of her childhood since her father was in the military, and she only ever speaks positively of it.

4 Name: Clueless : 2010-06-24 16:05 ID:ZxvI0ZJ7

Thanks you guys. I know I got a nice gig here in the state. But it isn't like I can't get a job in my own country. Though by the way, I'm naturalized and have duel citizenship.

I'm sort of leaning towards option B. If I pick option A, I'll be denying my kid(s) the opportunity to spend some time with his family. I'm a first generation, so my dad, uncle, cousins, heck almost my entire family is at the other side of the globe.

And like I said, I don't think I can teach my kid(s) the culture or the language by myself. And my current girlfriend certainly can't. I'm more fluent than she is and she can't even write her own name in our language.

I have really cherished my roots and the fact that I can understand the language of my origin. But eh ...

5 Name: Anonymous : 2010-06-25 12:27 ID:Heaven

yeah go for b...
i never get to spend time with my cousins and relatives, i dont even know a single name!!! more than often i feelso lonely

6 Name: Anonymous : 2010-07-20 03:36 ID:T6NdFjV6

I know an asian whose parents moved to the us when he was in elementary school...now he's a total waste of human life. Has trouble talking to people of his age, feels very uncomfortable around people, is very lonely and socially/intellectually isolated. It's not a good idea to uproot a kid like that and place them in a social context different from the one you're trying to impart onto them (at such a young age).

7 Name: Anonymous : 2010-07-21 03:01 ID:mzHMeDQo

I honestly think that B is a bad idea. And as soon as I get to a computer I'll tell you why.

8 Name: Anonymous : 2010-07-21 21:39 ID:2kDgfpcn

Well, OP, it's up to you. But Grad school isn't a bad idea, man.

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