First of all, I want to thank everyone here for listening to my problem.

Long story short, my issue is with my stepbrother. He told me I have been acting weird lately and I don’t blame him. Our relationship has been a little awkward after I discovered that he might be swinging the other way.

Basically, I found some videos on his computer that’s kind of … well … gay. I was just logging on to transfer some music to my mp3 player and accidentally stumbled on to them.

At first I freaked out and didn’t know what to react. I close what I saw and fled his room. Then the following week, I got curious and I double-checked his computer to confirm what I saw was exactly that. And they were … really gross stuff. He has tons of them hidden away in a folder.

Now my stepbrother and I have been really cool ever since our parents got married when I was three. He’s only a year older than me and we’re as close as real brothers.

I’m sure you must be wondering, what’s the big deal then? So your brother might be gay. Don’t be a homophobe. Just deal with it.

Well, I have been, except I’m starting to get a little paranoid. I have noticed that stuff from my room has gone constantly missing. And then later, they’ll reappear again. I’m not talking about normal stuff either but stuff like my clothes, my sneakers and my … under garments.

In the past, I didn’t think about it but after I discovered those videos I started to realize that they shared a pattern. Especially considering some of the video had a theme with disgusting fetishes.

Thus to make sure I’m not going crazy, I have been leaving clues in my room to confirm my suspicion. I would organize my clothes in a curtain way and leave little tags on my belonging to find out if someone has been taking them. And what I found out is that they have been altered constantly throughout the week.

Consequently, this has been freaking me out. What should I do? Should I confront my brother about it? I’m not sure what to say. For that matter, am I even the right person to talk to him about this? Or perhaps I should tell my mom and dad? Though I think that would be even worse. I feel like I have no one to turn to. That or maybe I’m just too paranoid.

If you have the cash you could install cameras to make sure it is in fact your brother. Make a list of other reasons why your stuff is gone, and explore those options. Make sure it actually is your brother.

Hopefully you're just paranoid. I don't see any way of confronting your brother that won't put pressure on your relationship. Then again, if you guys can get through this then you guys will be become really close.

I'm kinda having a hard time making a connection to your disappearing things, and you finding the videos on his computer. I think you should definitely confront your step brother about your missing things, but just leave it at that. I wouldn't bring his sexuality into it - seeing how to me, it has nothing to do with the other.

No, I don’t have the money for a camera. I’m still in high school. Though I do get some allowance each week, even if its only twenty bucks. Maybe I can use my cellphone?

As for a connection between the videos and my missing stuff … the first video I found had a guy licking and sniffing another guy’s shoes. There was another one that involved underwear and socks. The rest I saw were all gay pornography.

Gah … I can’t imagine my brother doing that kind of stuff with my things. So maybe I’m just paranoid. I live with my mom, my step dad, and my stepbrother. I do have friends that come over occasionally but I can’t imagine why they would steal my clothes. Or even my shoes. For that matter, I’m not sure how they could possibly return them.

But you guys are probably right. I can’t do anything about it without being certain. I’ll make a list. I’m probably just a goofball. Maybe I’m just really bad at being organized.

I have to run now. It is lunch period. Again, thanks for the advice.

With hard drives so large these days people usually don't delete stuff, including stuff that they are not really in to. If he really is gay, he'll eventually come out.

I'd give what >>3 said a try. Mentioning the underwear might be a bad idea. If he isn't taking your stuff he's going to be offended or is going to get suspicious. The shoes and the other stuff is understandable if you are both around the same height. So mentioning those things shouldn't be a problem.

A lock on your room or stuff will at least keep your stuff from going missing. It won't solve the great underwear mystery of 2010, but at least your stuff will wont go missing.

Yeah, the implication that because your brother might be gay means that he's the one taking your stuff and using it for perverse purposes is... yeah. Not cool, op.

Other than that, I think it's far more likely that it's your mom just taking your stuff to clean it or just snooping around and moving your stuff. Or, like >>5 said, your brother might be taking some of it just to wear it. I would ask him if he is taking your clothes, and if he denies it, just smile and say "Ok, I just wanted to ask you, because I hate that my stuff is going missing and coming back and I wish who ever is doing it would stop." so that if he really is taking it he knows he should stop.

I'm surprised no one has mentioned this but on the other side of the coin, what the heck are YOU doing snooping on your brother's computer? I mean let's just pretend that the first time was indeed an accident but the second time? don't you think it's a little creepy that you went on your brother's computer to "double-check" what his taste in pornography was? and you are complaining about some perceived violation of your privacy when we know for a fact you violated his privacy and more than once. His computer, his porn.

Or are you going to first tell him how you found out about his fetish before accusing him of taking your things for nefarious purposes? I wouldn't be surprised if he already knew you had gotten into his porn collection more than once, i hope you deleted the recently viewed files or recent places, whatever history happens to be on his OS.

I'm not the OP.

>>6 It's not the sexual orientation but the nature of the porn. The fact that it involves sniffing of undergarments and the fact that his underwear is missing is what is causing op discomfort.

>>7 From what I understood from the op's post the op already had permission to be on his brother's computer.

If in fact your bro is a pantsu sniffer, he might just grow out of it. Keep better watch over your stuff.

This is lesson for everyone. DON'T GO LOOKING THROUGH SOME ONE ELSE'S PORN. It rarely turns out well.