Girl here.
I'm nice to animals. I even sheltered and took care of a few fallen birds before. I don't even have a problem with lizards and insects.
But today I did something which isn't in my nature to have normally done. And before anyone says anything, I feel damn horrible about it.
I have a 3 kittens at home and one of them is very affectionate. I was cuddling him today and then all of a sudden,
I wondered what it would be like to choke him.
And the worst part is, I did squeeze his neck a bit.
I didn't want to do it, and yet when I did it, I felt heartless the moment I did that.
I didn't do anything else, and after that I went back to cuddling him like I did before.
I feel like a sick fuck. I don't even know why I did that. It's not like I hate the little guy or cats or any animals.
I need a psychological explanation. Is there a side to me that I don't know of? Why the fuck did I do that?
>I did squeeze his neck a bit.
How much is a bit?
How long did you did it and how hard?
How did it react?
Around Three to four seconds.
I used moderate pressure enough to make him do the choke sound. But I let go the moment he made it.
After that, he continued purring and rubbing against me just like he did before.
Well no big damage was done
You probably gave him some pain but he will be fine
Just let this experience be a lesson
>>4
Why did I do it? I ask myself, but I can't find the reason.
Do I secretly harbour destructive or sadistic tendencies?
I kind of think everyone has these impulses, it's the fact that these small animals look so fragile and you know you could just crush them if you didn't control yourself. You just went one step further, don't do it again and you should be fine.
why is the fact that you're a girl relevant to your question?