Death brings out skeletons (6)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2011-11-13 06:10 ID:HFYhjcJB

Im twenty years old and I cant get over the rotten things I did when I was a fourteen and younger, When I was a little kid my dad and uncle exposed me and my cousin to porn and used to drink around us my uncle also used to teach us how to have dirty sex again we were just little kids, I experimented with my stepmoms kid the first time when I was seven smelling his feet and licking thm, I did that more than once, when I was nine me a nd my cousins gave eachther oral cause we wnted to know what it felt like,when I was thirteen I did stuff with animals and When I was fourteen me and my cousin used to have anal many times( again couriousity) and one time my other cousin joined in and we experimented with anal and oral in the woods, and I also molested my little cousin and half brother at tht same age....My mom and a couple of my closest friends know all this stuff and they tell all the time that suicide aint the answere and that Im a really good person now but ever since I lost my gram and found out my aunt has two years to live all my skeletons broke out of the closet to haunt me... I need help and this is the only place I could turn too so no insults plz oh and Im 20 years old and havent done anything real bad since I was fourteen

2 Name: Anonymous : 2011-11-14 09:44 ID:MXMt75B3

I understand your difficulties, but I think you should realize that your past is haunting you now, because something bad happened to you at this moment that makes you more fragile. And what this means is that your problem is not your past troubles, but your present ones. The haunting is just the habit you have of suffering, which tends to bring you back to the past. A bit like someone who would always remember a childhood bike accident every time he bumps his head against something.

So I suggest that you concentrate on dealing with your grandma's death, and the issues with your aunt, and consider your past as a distraction, which should be brushed aside.

I think you should only perhaps come back to your past when you are actually feeling good. And if by then you don't see the need for it, it means that basically your past is a non issue. The only other reason I can see to come back to your past is if you notice that there is a problem in your relationships or sexual life that is somehow related to your past. Other than that let the past be, and concentrate on the here and now.

3 Name: Annonymous : 2011-11-14 11:15 ID:xCaDfaiH

Thanx man I appreciate it seriously everyday I make Up for the things I did wrong in my life and I just hope tht someday when I get old and die people will look back and say I was very good person despite my troubles

4 Name: Anonymous : 2011-11-15 02:06 ID:xkTGIaMj


It sounds to me like you're riddled through and through with guilt that shouldn't even be on your mind.

Number one, your father and uncle should NEVER have exposed children to pornography. You were exposed to material of a nature that you had absolutely no capacity to process properly and that laid the foundation for a warped view of sexuality and apparently lead to experimentation that you also had no tools to deal with properly at the age you experienced it. Being exposed to that material and those conversations was not your fault or within your control, and you must not let that cause you guilt. You must also recognize how that far-too-early exposure has tainted your ability to explore and process sex and sexuality since then.

Number two, with or without that exposure, it is likely that at some point during adolescence you would have explored sexual feelings and actions naturally. Did you know that some toddlers learn to masturbate while they are still in diapers and do not yet even understand what their genitals are? This has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with exploring their own bodies and responding to naturally pleasurable feelings. There is nothing dirty or corrupt about these explorations and they are ultimately just as innocent and natural as a child exploring their own nose or elbows. What you did with your cousin(s) at a young age may well have been (and likely was) at least somewhat a result of your early exposure to sex, but not entirely so.

The only thing in your story beside your present problems with processing your experiments and feeling guilt is your use of the term "molested" and the age at which you were when this occurred. Can you explain exactly what you mean?

5 Name: Anonymous : 2011-11-15 09:06 ID:LCx37ims

>>4 Yeah dude If I ever have kids someday I don't want them to go through What I did thats for sure...I dnt want thm to be raised around the shit I was and I hope that their just as kind and caring about people like I am today, I dnt even know If Id want them to meet my uncle or dad :/ I heard alot of depressing stories on this site and I wrote this thread not just to help myself but to help people who also have a violent past " saints have a past, sinners have a future" and Im definitley a saint now

6 Name: Anonymous : 2011-12-10 10:14 ID:43V6FFz4

>>1 I tried penetrating my little cousin which thankfully it didnt go in and the same with my litte brother but with him I gave him oral and tried to get him to do the same to me....Idk why u wanted the exact details but there they are

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