Since I have to be all positive around my friends/family so they don't freak out, I don't really get to say it that often.
But I was diagnosed with a particularly aggressive and hard to treat form of breast cancer a few months ago, and it pisses me off. I am in my 30s, which may be old to some of you on here, but JFC it is too damn young to have this!
Really, I am already so tired of being poked and prodded and poisoned and feeling sick all the time... and I have another year of this to look forward to. More chemo, then surgery, then radiation, then physical therapy... then I have to go an entire year without boobs and prove I am cancer free before my doctors will allow reconstructive surgery. Oh, and according to several people I have heard from who have been through it, reconstruction is actually the most painful part. That's why a lot of survivors choose not to go through with it.
See? Cancer is an asshole.
I know I'm kind of having a pity party for myself here, but I don't feel comfortable going to the offered support groups at my cancer center because everyone there is so much older than me. I have a hard time relating to people my own age, much less older people.
Mostly I'm ok, 90% of the time I have a great attitude about everything... but I'm allowed a bitch fest now and then, right?
You know, having breast cancer actually makes all those 'I Love Boobies' and 'Save the Tatas' things sound so trivial. I understand where people are coming from, but really- save the person, not the tatas! I'd rather not have boobs and still be alive. Fuck my boobs, they are the jerks who are trying to kill me!
Anyway, I'm just using this to say that cancer is a giant fucking pile of ass and I am tired of it. Fuck you, cancer.
If I had cancer, I wouldn't be anywhere near as awesome as you sound.
Hey cancera,
I think it's really important that you realize that you are not supposed to put up a "all is fine and dandy" mask in front of your family and friends. Cancer is an ordeal, not a joke, and what you need are authentic supportive relationships, not fake happiness and bravery. Although I would think about sparing the younger people, everyone your age and older is at a stage where they need to face suffering and death upfront. I saw several of my family members die (some of cancer, others of other diseases), and it was a pain see them put this stupid mask that anyone could see through anyways.
Of course you should not be constantly negative, but you should really vent your frustration and emotions. Don't worry, even if they freak out, your friends and family will get stronger and support you, and pull you out of the dumps when you lack the strength to do it by yourself. They also need to grow up, it's not just you. Remember that they won't be able to act in a more authentic and supportive manner if you constantly fake your feelings. Your hypocrisy can shut yourself from those who want to support you.
As for cancer support groups, I would talk with the personnel in your institution, so that they can put you in contact with other younger people, perhaps undergoing treatment at other institutions. Unfortunately, you're not the only one affected at such a young age, so you just need to get into contact with them. You might also consider checking on the internet to find suitable people in your area.
Last but not least, hold on and do your best! And you're right, fuck those boobies and their cancer!
You are the coolest sick person ever.
you sound badass and some guys like t3h xxzflat ch3st3Dzxx