Piano Man (31)

1 Name: Mad Scientist 2005-05-18 15:01 ID:/5rydvX6


"A wealth of names and nationalities have been suggested to try to identify a man found wandering in Kent who communicates only through piano music."

Receptive aphasia?

2 Name: Mad Scientist 2005-05-19 07:30 ID:Heaven

Maybe his intent was to leave his existing life in order to seek some attention? Because right now he's doing just that, and he's doing it quite well. Pity his plan will back-fire when they find out his identity (and no doubt they will, sooner or later).

3 Name: Sling!XD/uSlingU 2005-05-19 16:25 ID:oN+f9lcb

What if the guy is from elsewhere?
""I cannot get within a yard of him without him becoming very anxious," said Michael Camp, the social worker assigned to the tall blond man."
Maybe he is telepath, rather than speak-o-path or psychopath?

The guy drew a detailed piano that shocked the observers.
His clothes have no labels.
He came from the sea - felt into it?
He's super talented in the piano yet noone knows him after weeks of research.

I suspect nobody will ever claim him and that he'll spend the rest of his life in a mental institution.

4 Name: Mad Scientist 2005-05-19 20:16 ID:/LMsdNL9

An alien?

5 Name: Sling!XD/uSlingU 2005-05-19 21:18 ID:oN+f9lcb

Human, tall, blond, telepath...
Could be a Nordic.

Someone to call the Pleiades for a missing pianist?

6 Name: Alexander!DxY0NCwFJg!!muklVGqN 2005-05-22 03:10 ID:Heaven

This link could be relevant:


Combine it with this:


...and you can build a horrible pun!

7 Name: Mad Scientist 2005-05-23 21:47 ID:Heaven

When he plays Bach, we'll know the truth.

8 Name: Mad Scientist 2005-07-04 18:51 ID:/LMsdNL9

Now he's pointed at Oslo (capital of Norway,) and responded more than usual when someone spoke to him in norwegian.

9 Name: Sling!XD/uSlingU 2005-07-05 00:35 ID:AKCWMITd

I always thought that Norwegian was an alien language. :P

10 Name: ヽ(`Д´)ノ 2005-07-09 14:12 ID:Heaven

He's a human. Eventually he will break. We all break.

11 Name: Mad Scientist 2005-07-09 20:00 ID:jQ8Uz+zz

Hahaha. Even if they do figure out the man's identity, will it really help? He seems unable to do anything but playing the piano and drawing, maybe the man is mentally retarded?

12 Name: ヽ(`Д´)ノ!pjFg/WY9Ck 2005-07-10 06:56 ID:Heaven

A mentally retarded man who walks around a town completly soaked and can remove the labels from all his clothes and play nearly anything on a piano?

yeah, right.

13 Name: Mad Scientist 2005-07-29 21:34 ID:EerlgwwX


Maybe he's an idiot savant.

14 Name: bubu 2005-08-22 11:39 ID:TMhky7ox

Visigothic pianobarbarian fools the world, news at eleven.

15 Name: Alexander!DxY0NCwFJg!!muklVGqN 2005-08-22 13:05 ID:Heaven

Oh shi, we got owned by Piano Man.

16 Name: Sling!XD/uSlingU 2005-08-22 15:24 ID:AxvR6uDj

What? What? That's it? No explanations whatsover?
No questions asked? No bills for the hospital expenses?
No penalties for fooling people? No nothing?

I smell a fish and a rat...

17 Name: Mad Scientist 2005-08-22 16:24 ID:qNAQFIx0

Maybe they disected him and are covering it up.

18 Name: bubu 2005-08-22 18:17 ID:TMhky7ox

Why penalties. I ask you.
He simply "got better", and since he's Hermann the Germann, I'd reckon the Holy Hunnic Health Insurance XYZ will be stomaching his bills.

19 Name: Sling!XD/uSlingU 2005-08-22 23:11 ID:AxvR6uDj

I want to see video footage of him talking.

20 Name: Sling!XD/uSlingU 2005-08-22 23:22 ID:AxvR6uDj

He's now reported as gay, suicidal, jobless, a mental case helper, a farmer's son and was never able to play a note.

HA HA HA HA bzzzzt! Somebody please pinch me.

21 Name: Mad Scientist 2005-08-22 23:52 ID:cnUbWHI6


22 Name: Sling!XD/uSlingU 2005-08-23 03:43 ID:AxvR6uDj

"The West Kent NHS trust refused to comment on suggestions that it might seek to sue the man to recover some of the tens of thousands of pounds spent on his care."

23 Name: Sling!XD/uSlingU 2005-08-23 12:06 ID:Heaven

"Neighbour claims Piano Man is loner from tiny German village"

"THE mysterious Piano Man was finally identified by a friend last night as Andreas Grassl."

"Last night neighbours were stunned by revelations that he told medical staff in England he was gay."

""I have met his parents several times but they have not mentioned Andreas. I did not know anything about his disappearance.""

24 Name: Sling!XD/uSlingU 2005-08-23 12:09 ID:Heaven

Should he be charged for abusing the British health care system?
[German readers' opinions]

"Any suggestion of suing Piano Man is ridiculous, as he is obviously suffering from some psychiatric disorder. As such, he has a right to be treated anywhere in the European Union. -- Peter Stocks"

"Absolutely! Real patients could have been treated while he wasted everybody's time. He took away valuable resources for his own agenda. -- Heidi Stopper, US"

25 Name: Sling!XD/uSlingU 2005-08-23 12:15 ID:AxvR6uDj

"According to Germany's Süddeutsche Zeitung, he comes from the small town of Waldmünchen near the Czech border in eastern Bavaria."

26 Name: Mad Scientist 2005-08-23 13:25 ID:Heaven

This German guy was crazy. He should have after a couple of days opened his trap. Shit, he could have even done it in German, I mean hell, you can't exactly confuse it with any other language.

I think this man is a potential winner for "Attention Whore of the Year"

27 Name: Mad Scientist 2005-08-23 14:51 ID:Heaven

At least he didn't have a tripcode....

28 Name: Andreas Grassl!zkraGArAss 2005-08-24 02:35 ID:SyfAKtjd

The article about my UK tour I've liked the most so far would probably be:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/4176032.stm .

One thing to remember is that reporting past the standard health care secrecy barrier IS tricky. Conflicting stories from a tabloid on one hand and other news sources on the other isn't exactly surprising - in most situations, "health workers" aren't allowed to correct rumours, no matter how much 100% shit they are.

29 Name: Sling!XD/uSlingU 2005-08-24 22:20 ID:PM4Sm5KD

"he was very interested in the Internet, using the name "Scatman" in chat rooms, a local newspaper reported."

"Neighbors in the village of only 50 said the young man had a very conservative Catholic upbringing and he served as an altar boy in the local church."

"..why nobody in the town had identified Grassl earlier,
"He used to look much different," said neighbor Marianne Hutter. "He used to have his hair combed back and he had glasses.""

"Grassl left the village to serve in the so-called "civilian service," [] as an alternative to the mandatory military service."

"[His lawyers] rejected reports that Grassl wasn't able to play the piano. In fact, his lawyers said he used to play the keyboard regularly when he was a child."

30 Name: Mad Scientist 2005-08-25 14:14 ID:7LyzSTUj

dunanunanunanuna SCATMAAAAAAN

31 Name: Mad Scientist 2005-08-28 22:41 ID:Heaven

>>27 is a legendary post.

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