>"We tested his clothes with a static electricity field meter and measured a current of 40,000 volts, which is one step shy of spontaneous combustion, where his clothes would have self-ignited," Barton said."

It's been a while since I've been to physics classes, so I might be wrong, but I do remember quite clearly that with static electricity, you don't get currents unless you connect directly to the source of this electricity. Also, I am quite sure that currents are measured in Amperes. not Volts.

One final comment on the static electricity, It is possible for a person to hold 40 kV while being completely oblivious about it, because nothing happens unless it suddenly finds a channel to flow somewhere.