INSTANT REVIEW: C
You can complain all you want, it's not going anywhere anytime soon.
INSTANT REVIEW: C++
You can complain all you want, it's not going anywhere anytime soon++.
INSTANT REVIEW: Java
Mediocre language for mediocre minds.
INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
After using it for eight years, I am still not halfway through learning it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Pascal
What good is it to design a language for learning and not for using?
INSTANT REVIEW: Modula-2
THIS IS JUST LIKE PASCAL, EXCEPT YOU HAVE TO SHOUT.
INSTANT REVIEW: Standard ML
People who majored in CS because they're too dumb for maths love this language.
INSTANT REVIEW: Python
A guy holding a gun to my head could make me write readable code too, but I wouldn't like that either.
INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic for Applications, Localized
I used this once, and I've been trying to forget it ever since.
INSTANT REVIEW: SQL
SQL is the COBOL of the nineties.
You forgot VB.NET.
... And C#.
But he didn't forget Poland. ;)
INSTANT REVIEW: PHP
Consistency? That's the hobgoblin of small minds. php.net/manual/ needs more traffic anyway.
PHP SUCKS.
>>14: Agreed.
INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby
A programming language developed in Japan which is known by ten Japanese people and ten thousand geeky American otaku who learned it solely because it is a programming language developed in Japan.
haha, GNAA is wapanese
>>17 gnaa.us is powered by PHP5. Team Barry on the otherhand, uses Ruby/PostgreSQL/NetBSD.
INSTANT REVIEW: mIRC SCRIPTING
Created to make the front end of some random IRC client have a bit more functionality, so then people went and made text editors, mp3 players, image viewers and web browsers and call themselves "coders".
[b]INSTANT REVIEW: HTML[/b]
It's not a language, doofus.
INSTANT REVIEW: BBCode
As dumb as the people who implement it and also not a language
INSTANT REVIEW: Javascript
A prototyping object based language that is a joy to use but is forever doomed to spend its years detecting browsers in web pages that insist on pixel-perfect CSS.
>>18 why did GNAA demand that 4chan admit ruby is awesome and port futallaby to it, then? :\
or maybe it was iichan, i forget
>>24
iichan used Wakaba and was never flooded (vericodes)
I was struggling to come up with something about Javascript. Thanks!
Could it be because they are a trolling organisation??
/INSTANT REVIEW: Lisp/
A language which mysteriously makes everyone who learns it sit around on IRC complaining about how every other language is worse than Lisp.
INSTANT REVIEW: WakabaMark
A language I can't remember how to use.
INSTANT REVIEW: Prolog
slow(prolog).
esoteric(prolog).
mostly_useless(X) :- esoteric(X), slow(X).
?- _
INSTANT REVIEW: BASIC
Older versions are better.
INSTANT REVIEW: Shell
echo "You must be looking for this: find /usr/ -name perl 2> /dev/null | grep "/usr/.*bin/perl" | sed -e "2~1d""
INSTANT REVIEW: Shell [correction]
echo "You must be looking for this: `find /usr/ -name perl 2> /dev/null | grep "/usr/.*bin/perl" | sed -e "2~1d"`"INSTANT REVIEW: Lua
Only game programmers use it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Forth
IS RPN SUPERIOR;
INSTANT REVIEW: perl
Simultaneously the best and worst write-only programming language.
INSTANT REVIEW: Javascript
I turned it off.
INSTANT REVIEW: Regular Expressions
I guess... I don't see why it has to be so complex. Check for an @, then check for at least one . after the @. I can't think of any valid, modern email addresses that break that.
The rules for what a valid email address are are much, much more strict and complex than that. You can do what you suggested, but you'll catch lots of addresses that are invalid, too. This is for making sure an address is strictly valid.
TECO called, and it wants its macros back (and some coffee).
INSTANT REVIEW: Python
owns
>>43 lacks funny.
INSTANT REVIEW: FORTRAN
Your parents dabbled with it in college so they say "know how computers work, stop talking down to me!"
INSTANT REVIEW: Python
My code actually looks pretty now! But I can't remember what it does anymore.
INSTANT REVIEW: TECO
[1 J^P$L$$
J <.-Z; .,(S,$ -D .)FX1 @F^B $K :L I $ G1 L>$$
INSTANT REVIEW: Whitespace
INSTANT REVIEW: Java
Sucks
>>50 is DQN
INSTANT REVIEW: VBScript
Some bright spark thought it would be cool to make VB's Very Bad syntax scriptable in a browser . sigh
ASP
SQL MArkup Language
INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby
Swiss Army Ballerina
INSTANT REVIEW: OCaml
(you (can (look (make it)(like lisp)) too));;
>>40 valid email addresses include "<>" and "justaname", they don't have @'s.
INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby
Things are automatically better if they're Japanese.
INSTANT REVIEW: Clean
When will... the hurting... stop
INSTAN REVIEW : PHP
<? for( ; ; ) ?> <?= "THis is PhP" ?>
>>59
shrug No worse than perl. And that example is too mundane. That's useless for the sake of it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Humourless Dunce
plz read >>60 4 info
INSTANT REVIEW: Java
InstantReview no62 = (new InstantReviewCreator(InstantReviewFactory.get())).newInstantReview()
INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
"#()%$/#"()=%/=")(/#%"$%?=)"#)$?=)"#?=¿!"($)="%?=$(%?(
>>59,62,63 are missing the point. This is not the write-one-line-of-made-up-code thread, it's the Instant Review thread.
>>62
no no no! You must follow established best practises down to the letter, everything else is wrong!
InstantReview no62 = InstantReviewBuilderFactory.getInstance().newInstantReviewBuilder().newInstantReview();
no62.setInstantReview("Just do what it says, don't think about it.");
> INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
> Star Trek for programmers.
Now THAT'S more like it!
INSTANT REVIEW: Dylan
LISP pretending to be C (and object-oriented.)
INSTANT REVIEW: .NET
= Same as Java - Platform Independence
INSTANT REVIEW: C# (sharrrp)
So that VB programmers can feel like real programmers. Also see >>67 >Java
INSTANT REVIEW: VB
GWBASIC without line numbers
INSTANT REVIEW: ObjectPAL
VBA with weirder syntax, basic regexp support, and more fatal crashes.
INSTANT REVIEW: C++
C--
INSTANT REVIEW: bash
you need me nomatter what the review!
INSTANT REVIEW: Objective-C
Smalltalk and C are great! Let's program in both of them at the same time!
Perl:
perl -e 'print map {(split(//))[0]} (q study abs, q chomp getc, q die bind, q lstat eval, q g u fag, q die bind, q lstat eval, q y u r gay, q wantarray qw, q y 4chan is gay, q crypt ungetc, q next warn, q eval time, q die bind, q keys break, q qw uniq)'
INSTANT REVIEW: Ada
Lets blow up the world!
INSTANT REVIEW: Java
NullPointerException
INSTANT REVIEW: >>81
GA
INSTANT REVIEW: Assembly Language
Kill yourself in 1001 easy steps.
INSTANT REVIEW: MATLAB
Vector math and DSP FTW!
INSTANT REVIEW: Applescript
Tell every reader of the post "Applescript" of the thread "Instant Reviews" of the board "Programming" of the site "4-ch" of the Internet : Making programming easy for morons makes it hard for programmers. End tell.
INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby
The bastard child of Smalltalk and Perl.
INSTANT REVIEW: VHDL
For something that depends on bit and bit_vector so much, it sure hates literal bit strings.
INSTANT REVIEW: Python
def __Too__ Many(self, Ugly):
"""Symbols"""INSTANT REVIEW: Brainfuck
>+++++++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++[<++++>-]<+.+++++++..+++.[-]>++++++++[<++++>-]
<.#>+++++++++++[<+++++>-]<.>++++++++[<+++>-]<.+++.------.--------.[-]>++++++++[
<++++>-]<+.[-]++++++++++.
ITT we write in English as she is spoke.
INSTANT REVIEW: VB.NET
If YouAre.FuckingMoron = True Then
Kick.Self("InAss")ElseIf
Invest.Stocks("Google")EndIf
These are supposed to be instant reviews, not instant lame code samples.
btw, >>ElseIf
gg.
>>93
Those are reviews. Don't hate just because you can't be as witty as other people.
No, >>93 got it. This is not the "oh-so-clever pseudocode describes what the language" thread, this is the INSTANT REVIEW thread. Reviews are written in English. There's really not much that is witty about writing pseudocode. See >>65, and also see >>1-10,14,16,19-22,28-29,31,34-37,45-46,57,67 and so on.
Fucking prudes.
Why do people who don't get the jist of threads like this have to go and shit on them :(
INSTANT REVIEW: >>95
idiot
INSTANT REVIEW: C#
Modern hindi
I can't decide if >>101 is some totally hilarious joke I don't get, or just plain nonsense. Most mysterious!
>>103
That was kind of my idea, but it seems that I somewhat failed :(
INSTANT REVIEW : SCHEME
i'm glad KATE has 7 different colours for parentheses, the code looks just like rainbow afterwards
>>105
never seen scheme source or used kate, but I lol'd anyway
INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
At least it's not C shells.
Instant Review: tcl
A great way to protect your IRC chan from takeover
INSTANT REVIEW: mIRC script
Perhaps the only "language" designed specifically to code trojans and virii.
INSTANT REVIEW: Haskell
Singly-linked lists are the best data type EVER!
>>110
In all fairness, you could describe Lisp the same way.
INSTANT REVIEW: Lisp
Just like that other language.
INSTANT REVIEW: INSTANT REVIEW
Stack Overflow
INSTANT REVIEW: C
C = (BCPL--)++
INSTANT REVIEW Visual BASIC; Star BASIC
Object oriented PASCAL with added DIM statements and SUBs for that kitsch Olde Worlde feeling
Instant review: Python
clean and nice
Instant review: Ruby
Kawaii desu ne
Instant review: Java
Enterprise-grade, industry-standard, scalable language to meet business needs, maximize profits and convert visitors into customers
Instant review: Perl
The goggles, they do nothing!
>>117
Oh, boardmarkup messed with my Python review. clean and nice were between two underscores on each side each.
>>119
Who the hell is Wakabamark? (I know, I know... lurk more... but you can't expect me to know the names of everyone here.)
Instant review: Perl
Write only.
Instant review: Python
Easy to write concepts.
"Easy to write concepts"? What the hell does that even MEAN?
That it's good for prototyping but little else?
A different view of Java, based on the rather disturbing fine print in the licensing agreements:
Don't use this code for realtime control, for weapons systems, or for
anything else that may put life or limb at hazard. It isn't man-rated,
it isn't really thing-rated, and we don't claim that it's worth a good
G*dDamn for anything at all, at all.
-- Mike Andrews, on JavaINSTANT REVIEW: PHP
for(;;)if(pcntl_fork())posix_kill(posix_getpid(),11);Instant review: AutoIt
Brave little toaster
INSTANT REVIEW: Objective-C
Oh Yeah, now we're talking! =)
INSTANT REVIEW: Objective-C 2.0
Bring on the goodness! =D
wanna try and make a os?
because if ya want to e mail me to computervirusdocter@yahoo.co.jp
ok
come
onn
INSTANT REVIEW: FORTRAN
Great if you want to make a super computer.
INSTANT REVIEW: FORTRAN/COBOL
1960 just called, it wants its code back.
INSTANT REVIEW: C
'We stopped when we got a clean compile on the following syntax:
for(;P("\n"),R--;P("|"))for(e=C;e--;P("_"+(*u++/8)%2))P("|"+(*u/4)%2);'
>>137 ("_"+(*u++/8)%2)
Is dat some addition of strings??
>>138
It will return either '_' or '`' as a char, or as a char cast to whatever the prototype of P accepts.
The value from '(*u++/8)%2' is either a 0 or 1, cos it is the remainder of dividing '*u++/8' by 2.
This is then added to the char value of '_'.
As to what the point of it is, I have not a clue! I would like to know what P does, if it is meant to do anything at all...
Hope this helps! (and is correct...)
INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
Now, which of the 300 hundred ways of parsing a string should I use...
>>139
"" is a string, not character, literal. That expression adds 0 or 1 to the address of the string, producing (the address of) either "" or "".
Damn it. Preview post and I both fail.
INSTANT REVIEW: D
This is what happens if you use C++ too long.
>>139
>>140
Actually, I don't have a freakin clue what this does. I ripped it from the GNU humour pages: http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/unix-hoax.html
INSTANT REVIEW: 8052 ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE
200 lines of code, just for displaying "Hello World" on a LCD.
Google uses python.
Google, however, does not use >>144.
>>143
Nice :)
INSTANT REVIEW: HTML
Newbie: Yeah, I can only program in HTML...
Me: 0_o' ... go home.
wow >>146 you must have a big e-penis to be able to call other people newbies
INSTANT REVIEW: Genetic code (DNA)
Not a real programming language, so obviously it's ultimately useless and for noobs only.
>>148 hah
>>148
INSTANT REVIEW: Genetic code (DNA)
God: Sup guys?
Darwin: 0_o' ... go home.
Oh yes, that is indeed a mortal sin, worthy of eternal contempt and mockery.
Christ, man, get over yourself.
>>151
so people who are new to coding don't know what they're talking about? phwoar, who woulda thunk! thank you for your instant review; it was an educational experience.
next time more funny though, please.
INSTANT REVIEW: INSTANT REVIEWS of programming languages thread @ 4-ch
ITT we post INSTANT REVIEWS (with more funnay)
INSTANT REVIEW: WakabaMark
__*Bold and italic*__
**_Bold and italic_**
___God dammit___
** * EAT FLAMING DEATH! * **
>>154
There, the funniest thing I could think of. And by the way, how DO you make something bold and italic in WakabaMark? Because, I really don't know... ^_^;;
>>155
<b><i>like this?</b></i>
actually, you don't. you don't make text <b>bold</b> or <i>italicized</i> with wakabamark, you make it <em>emphasized</em> or <strong>strongly emphasized</strong>. combining emphasis and strong emphasis doesn't really make sense. if you want to make things bold and italicized, use html instead of wakabamark.
Instant Review: .NET
cross-platform shmosh-platform
INSTANT REVIEW: C
Remember back when they said C was a cross-platform language?
INSTANT REVIEW: Java
Remember back when they said Java was a cross-platform language?
C is a cross-platform language, dammit, unless your definition of "cross-platform language" is "a language in which it is not even possible to do something platform-specific", and that would be silly. I've written dozens of cross-platform C programs. You only have to try.
INSTANT REVIEW: HARBL
i'm in ur message boardz strokin it
INSTANT REVIEW: >>161
2004 called, they want their meme back.
INSTANT REVIEW: C CODE
#INCLUDE yourhotsister.fap
INSTANT REVIEW: FAIL
>>163
INSTANT REVIEW: Regular Expressions
Just because you can do stuff like ((((\p{L}\p{N})*((\.\p{L}\p{N})*)?):)?(\p{L}\p{N}((\.\p{L}\p{N})*)?)) doesn't mean you should.
INSTANT REVIEW: Haskell
We're still trying to figure out how to make it useful, but it'll be really expressive and powerful once we do.
INSTANT REVIEW: Common Lisp
The *nix of languages: full of cruft, inertia, and too many implementations.
INSTANT REVIEW: JavaScript 2.0
Perl 6.
Try and guess how many posts I have made in this thread.
i think i've posted as !WAHa.06x36 at least once in this thread... i thought everyone knew his tripcode...
a review from someone who's in the middle of learning...
Instant Review: ASM
huh...?
>>172
more like "huh...? which ASM?"
i'm guessing x86, in which case my comment would be more like "OH GOD MAKE THE PAIN STOP" and also "why would anyone learn this"
>>173
actually, that last question applies equally no matter which ASM you're talking about.
INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby2
And you thought Perl6 was taking a long time...
INSTANT REVIEW: WINDOWS DDK
When you think programming is easy
INSTANT REVIEW: MACHINE CODE
Put that in Pascal's pipe and smoke it.
>>171
we don't, please tell us :3
INSTANT REVIEW: brainfuck
Any language that looks like ebay comment feedback is GREAT+++++++++++++
>>178
write a tripcode cracker and crack it yourself. that's what i did.
it only took me about half an hour to crack this tripcode...
09013251697
E8IW-QI8E.Ru-chan.E8IW-QI8E@softbank.ne.jp
#hR6k
INSTANT REVIEW: Ragel
Despite being a language for writing parsers, I am only going to provide text parsing and not any built-in way of reading numbers, and code callbacks will only get pointers to the end of a token instead of the beginning.
(It's actually quite nice though. http://www.zedshaw.com/tips/ragel_state_charts.html)
INSTANT REVIEW: Java and PHP
Fail and AIDS.
class Yhbt {
public static void main (String[] args) {
System.out.println("Thank you for your most humble critique of my most serious post, whose purpose was only to attempt to contribute constructively to this thread"); }
}
INSTANT REVIEW: Smalltalk
Yay programming:Everything using:Messages is:Fun.
INSTANT REVIEW: SQL
Official lanaguage of the universe.
The embedded list!
------------------
INSTANT REVIEW: x86 assembly
It's fun when you're programming your shiny new 3GHz $500 processor with an instruction set that was antiquated 20 years ago, and realize it's gonna be around for another 20 years.
INSTANT REVIEW: MIPS assembly
It's fun when you're programming your four year old 1GHz $5,000 processor with one of the cleanest instruction sets around, and realize that nobody makes MIPS systems anymore.
INSTANT REVIEW: ARM assembly
It's fun when you're programming your brand new 1GHz $5 processor with one of the simplest instruction sets around, and realize you're targeting a mobile phone.
INSTANT REVIEW: PowerPC assembly
It's fun when you're programming your brand new 3GHz $50 processor with one of the most popular RISC instruction sets around, and realize that Apple abandoned you and the latest PowerPC processors are more crippled than netburst.
INSTANT REVIEW: PIC assembly
It's fun when you're programming your brand new 40MHz $0.50 processor with one of the most basic instruction sets around, and realize that you're writing code for a remote control!
INSTANT REVIEW: C166 assembly
It's fun when you're programming your brand new 40MHz $50.00 processor with one of the most funky instruction sets around, and realize that if you make a mistake somebody is probably going to die.
(note: C166s are used in a lot of car management computers, airplane instruments, etc)
INSTANT REVIEW: VU assembly
It's fun when you're programming your six year old 297MHz processor with one of the coolest instruction sets around, and realize you've just spent twenty hours solid optimizing a loop for a game that's just been canceled.
INSTANT REVIEW: C
It's fun when you realize that you can do something easier and more efficiently in assembly, but your manager requires it to be "portable".
INSTANT REVIEW: Python and Ruby at the same time, presented entirely as a quote from some web forum:
"0 is true?!? This sensation in my head must be what those Python-haters feel when they unfairly dismiss a language with meaningful whitespace."
are there any reviews on Visual Basic ^^;
INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic
No.
INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic
Did you mean: delphi?
C++ is teh pwn lols
nope visual basic is an actual programming language. it was made by microsoft.
you might be right I am still new to programming.
INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic
HyperCard for professionals.
>>195 win... even though nobody else seems to have got the joke :)
>>200
oh we got it, but we didn't feel a need to bump the thread to say so
In after 200GET
INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic
Because boss wants it done, YESTERDAY!
INSTANT REVIEW: SML
It is impossible to get a runtime exception with this language, because it is impossible to understand the compiler errors.
(This also applies to Haskell.)
INSTANT REVIEW: VB.NET
>combines the essence of C++ and javascript
>>80 I lold
INSTANT REVIEW - Pseudocode
Just as useful as Pascal: You will have a great idea of what to do, but you'll have to apply it somewhere else later if you want it to be out to the public.
INSTANT REVIEW: Lisp
http://xkcd.com/c224.html
INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic
BASIC and C++ are horrible! Let's program in both of them at the same time!
INSTANT REVIEW: C++
Segmentation fault.
INSTANT REVIEW: C
Hello World!^$&% @LK#J @ ^K@#LJ$ @#LKJ(U (U ASH@#%() (@U# 235 23(^@#)(U$ @#I^ 2394 2#^(@ U#$@#$ 23^KJ#$ @(#U ^U==12#(P @%(U
INSTANT REVIEW: PHP
\'Hello World!\'
>>211
good one
INSTANT REVIEW: Common Lisp
We got the language right back in the '50s, and then spent the next 50 years trying to agree on the argument order. And failed.
Algol: Assembly language is too low-level.
Pascal: Algol doesn't have enough data types.
Modula: Pascal is too wimpy for systems programming.
Simula: Algol isn't good enough at simulations.
Smalltalk: Not everything in Simula is an object.
Fortran: Assembly language is too low-level.
Cobol: Fortran is scary.
PL/1: Fortran doesn't have enough data types.
Ada: Every existing language is missing something.
Basic: Fortran is scary.
APL: Fortran isn't good enough at manipulating arrays.
J: APL requires its own character set.
C: Assemby language is too low-level.
C++: C is too low-level.
Java: C++ is a kludge. And Microsoft is going to crush us.
C#: Java is controlled by Sun.
Lisp: Turing Machines are an awkward way to describe computation.
Scheme: MacLisp is a kludge.
T: Scheme has no libraries.
Common Lisp: There are too many dialects of Lisp.
Dylan: Scheme has no libraries, and Lisp syntax is scary.
Perl: Shell scripts/awk/sed are not enough like programming languages.
Python: Perl is a kludge.
Ruby: Perl is a kludge, and Lisp syntax is scary.
Prolog: Programming is not enough like logic.
MATLAB: You'd already best have finished C if you even want to THINK about using this language.
>>216
Look, it's Paul Graham!
Or is a just a faggot who copy and pastes shit from reddit?
Aw c'mon, don't bring back this worthless trolling thread.
INSTANT REVIEW: Python and Ruby
We're advanced languages!
Huh? Lexical scoping? What's that?
ruby: last minute attempt to be functional
lucid: haskell and prolog are not academic enough
>>220 Ruby has lexical scoping.
>>223
It most assuredly does not. Rather, it has that hack called blocks to substitute for first-class functions and lexical scoping (and doesn't get it right either).
Saying it doesn't get it right without saying how it doesn't get it right, is effectively the same as giving no information whatsoever.
>>225
For your edification: http://4-ch.net/code/kareha.pl/1132768506/105
Now, let's get back to the humor:
INSTANT REVIEW: Machine Code
1010 1010 1011 1010 0010 0011 1001 1001
Delphi: silently getting shits done.
INSANT REVIEW: lisp
Simple (the first scheme manual was ~50 pages long))))))))))))))))))))))))
PowerShell, C#, and J#: "C'mon guys, we're cool and hip! Just like Ruby, Python, and Java!"
WCF (Indigo) and ASP.NET: "C'mon guys, we're cool and hip! Just like SOAP, AJAX, PHP, and Rails!"
OT: Zune: "C'mon guys, we're cool and hip! Just like the iPod!"
INSTANT REVIEW: >>230
Will hate anything with Microsoft's name on it, without ever looking at what it actually is.
>>231
I used to work at Microsoft ("v-" work-for-hire on the Group Policy sub-division of the Enterprise Services sub-division of the OS division). So yes, I am pretty familiar with most of the technologies I mock.
Have you ever heard of irony? I hate MS's sycophancy more than the actual technologies themselves.
INSTANT REVIEW: >>231
Abort, Retry, or Fail (A/R/F)? F
INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby
A blast!
INSTANT REVIEW: Actionscript
Let's pay money to program in PHP.
INSTANT REVIEW: Python
The OSX of programming languages. Good at getting stuff done, but it won't help your E-penis.
>>235
If you have to explain the analogy then it isn't funny.
>>236
If you have to explain someones failure, he instantly wins and you fail
>>237
I disagree. Rather, you fail.
>>238
i agree. you fail.
INSTANT REvIEW: C#
I'm Java, but not portable.
INSTANT REVIEW: Eiffel
Buzzword-oriented programming.
INSTANT REVIEW VIA LARRY WALL QUOTES: PHP
"We've also seen the rise of PHP, which takes the worse-is-better approach to dazzling new depths, as it were. By and large PHP seems to be making the same progression of mistakes as early Perl did, only slower."
INSTANT REVIEW: Java
I'm Java, but not portable.
INSTANT REVIEW: Python
Unreadable, unmaintainable and unstructured.
INSTANT REVIEW: Trolling
Post deleted by moderator.
>>248
Forced indentation doesn't help readability, although it does increase irritability.
>>250
Why not?
Because frankly, expert programmers don't want to waste time tending bonsai when they're experimenting. That means they want a language that helps them get prototype-quality results fast. That's why languages like perl and lisp are so damn powerful: Their design makes it easy to get results fast.
When Python makes you spend so much time on some code aesthetic that you're not experimenting, you necessarily end up with a second-rate design. Oh sure, it looks pretty, but it took you three times longer, and it's slower than what could've been accomplished in better languages.
>>252
I've already designed my program using models on paper and in my head before I touch a keyboard. Writing code takes me no time compared to the time it takes me to model ways of solving the specs.
>>253 The requirements are rarely well-known enough to make those kinds of decisions before development starts. That's why programs like BIND, Sendmail, DHCPD, and Apache are so freakishly complicated, and buggy. It isn't because the people writing them are worse engineers than you- they're probably much better engineers. It is the result of their development that has made the domain well-defined, so it is obvious that getting the prototype working quickly is more important. It provides useful information that all the planning on paper and "in your head" will simply never provide.
>>252
Get a real text editor editor.
Also, I don't see how it doesn't help readability.
Better yet, use a better language and a real text editor, and save even more time.
Discussion now continues here: http://4-ch.net/code/kareha.pl/1197432195/
INSTANT REVIEW: XSLT
It's Turing Complete!
>>261
What do you mean by assembler?
Like NASM or that fucking horrible GNU ASM
>>262
NASM uses what's called Intel assembly. "The other" format is AT&T assembly, and it has a number of functional benefits over Intel syntax, not the least of which being it's what every other system uses, which means porting between architectures is (a small bit) easier.
NASM reminds me too much of Microsoft assembler.
[B]INSTANT REVIEW: MALBOLGE[/B]
GOQ/)§%"06z8jT§%OI&UJASOI%
The point here is kind of that you should try to actually be funny or insightful. Also, welcome to a world unpolluted by BBcode.
INSTANT REVIEW: PHP
Warning: mysql_connect() [function.mysql-connect]: Can't connect to MySQL server on 'localhost' (10055) in /home/httpd/public_html/index.php on line 3
Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent in /home/httpd/public_html/index.php on line 3
I don\\\\'t know why more people haven\\\\'t tried PHP yet, it\\\\'s so easy to make a dynamic website with it!
Warning: mysql_num_rows(): supplied argument is not a valid MySQL result resource in /home/httpd/public_html/index.php on line 21
>>267
I did. Read the post.
That's not a review. That's an error copypasta.
>>269 obviously didn't read the body of the error.
I did, and it wasn't funny, and the error messages didn't make it any funnier.
>>267-272
massive fail
Less lame 4chanisms would also be appreciated. Once again, if you have something to say, say it. Don't quote tired old memes that no longer have any meaning at all.
>>274
massive fail
>>274 "Don't quote tired old memes" is in itself a tired old meme.
INSTANT REVIEW: Io
Javascript done right, but these objects are too slow :(
<b>INSTANT REVIEW: C#/Java</b>
Slower than C, more memory use than Python, less libraries than Perl. Serves no technical purpose.
[b]INSTANT REVIEW: C#/Java[/b]
Popularity through marketing has one huge advantage for the programmer: thousands and thousands of employment opportunities, so you can hack on Haskell/Ruby/YourFavoriteToyLanguage in your spare time.
close! You need a space between the = and the )
Ghostscript is more forgiving then this board.
still more forgiving than DQN's elitist superstructure
INSTANT REVIEW: Java
When you want to create apps(shit) like Runescape.
INSTANT REVIEW: C++
All the features of your favorite modern languages, without the overhead, as long as you're willing to invest YEARS learning it.
>>285
Unless those YEARS'' involve implementing those other languages in C++, that statement is only true if your only favorite modern'' language is C++, and then only partially, because C++ has exactly as much overhead as C++ does.
INSTANT REVIEW: MarkDown
Monkey patching ASCII at its finest.
All the features of your favorite modern languages, with the overhead of implementing those features yourself, and it will take YEARS to do that correctly.
Fix'd
INSTANT REVIEW: LOLCODE
Oh god no.
INSTANT REVIEW: C# and .net
ms make VB verson of java and c
>>291
Oh man Allen Iverson is my favorite basketball player!
That makes absolutely no fucking sense at all. You are confusing a lot of unrelated things.
.Net is not a programming language.
C# and VB.Net have similar capabilities but are not the same and the languages are fundamentally different.
C# is similar to the Java language, but closer to C++ than the Java language.
Many languages use the C style syntax, including Java. Java and C# are a long way from the C language.
.Net is similar to the Java platform but fundamentally contains more in many aspects.
You demonstrate a complete lack of understanding of the concets of Java, .Net and C.
OK, I'll instantly review a language with the same comprehention as that post.
INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby and Rails
Ruby Team make Smalltalk verson of Python and Perl
Fuck, that actually makes more sense than that nonsense.