INSTANT REVIEWS of programming languages (296)

1 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/01/04(Tue)01:33 ID:XYxTySqa [Del]

INSTANT REVIEW: C

You can complain all you want, it's not going anywhere anytime soon.

75 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-09-03 08:46 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: bash
you need me nomatter what the review!

76 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-09-05 21:00 ID:Y6AjK5dR

INSTANT REVIEW: Objective-C
Smalltalk and C are great! Let's program in both of them at the same time!

77 Name: !WAHa.06x36 2005-09-05 21:44 ID:ZL7/zNnI

>>76 made me laugh.

78 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-09-24 19:55 ID:9Ax/PGLq

Perl:
perl -e 'print map {(split(//))[0]} (q study abs, q chomp getc, q die bind, q lstat eval, q g u fag, q die bind, q lstat eval, q y u r gay, q wantarray qw, q y 4chan is gay, q crypt ungetc, q next warn, q eval time, q die bind, q keys break, q qw uniq)'

79 Name: !WAHa.06x36 2005-09-25 14:47 ID:Heaven

>>78 didn't read >>65.

80 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-09-25 16:10 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Ada
Lets blow up the world!

81 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-13 05:53 ID:WU9tFWjt

INSTANT REVIEW: Java
NullPointerException

82 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-13 07:09 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: >>81
GA

83 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-13 07:24 ID:oi5Faqs1

INSTANT REVIEW: Assembly Language
Kill yourself in 1001 easy steps.

84 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-14 07:03 ID:Nk1QN56t

INSTANT REVIEW: MATLAB
Vector math and DSP FTW!

85 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-23 17:27 ID:FSEs0iV8

INSTANT REVIEW: Applescript

Tell every reader of the post "Applescript" of the thread "Instant Reviews" of the board "Programming" of the site "4-ch" of the Internet : Making programming easy for morons makes it hard for programmers. End tell.

86 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-23 20:07 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby

The bastard child of Smalltalk and Perl.

87 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-12-03 02:23 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: VHDL
For something that depends on bit and bit_vector so much, it sure hates literal bit strings.

88 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E 2005-12-16 08:07 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Python

def __Too__ Many(self, Ugly):
    """Symbols"""

89 Name: #!/usr/bin/anon 2006-01-22 08:54 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Brainfuck

>+++++++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++[<++++>-]<+.+++++++..+++.[-]>++++++++[<++++>-]

<.#>+++++++++++[<+++++>-]<.>++++++++[<+++>-]<.+++.------.--------.[-]>++++++++[
<++++>-]<+.[-]++++++++++.

90 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-25 12:00 ID:mHEFa4d3

INSTANT REVIEW: Haskell
contents = "Enlightenment and headaches" ++ drop 13 contents

91 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-25 12:54 ID:Heaven

ITT we write in English as she is spoke.

92 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-25 21:44 ID:O3BtjTiC

INSTANT REVIEW: VB.NET

If YouAre.FuckingMoron = True Then

 Kick.Self("InAss")

ElseIf

 Invest.Stocks("Google")

EndIf

93 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-25 23:14 ID:Heaven

These are supposed to be instant reviews, not instant lame code samples.

94 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-25 23:16 ID:Heaven

btw, >>ElseIf

gg.

95 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-26 02:48 ID:Heaven

>>93
Those are reviews. Don't hate just because you can't be as witty as other people.

96 Name: !WAHa.06x36 : 2006-03-26 17:27 ID:/jW1zPYT

>>95

No, >>93 got it. This is not the "oh-so-clever pseudocode describes what the language" thread, this is the INSTANT REVIEW thread. Reviews are written in English. There's really not much that is witty about writing pseudocode. See >>65, and also see >>1-10,14,16,19-22,28-29,31,34-37,45-46,57,67 and so on.

97 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-26 20:14 ID:Heaven

>>96

98 Name: 92 : 2006-03-27 04:15 ID:O3BtjTiC

Fucking prudes.

99 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-27 11:43 ID:j8pECNl8

Why do people who don't get the jist of threads like this have to go and shit on them :(

100 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-27 12:34 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: >>95
idiot

101 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-31 17:15 ID:RZNxnYSP

INSTANT REVIEW: C#
Modern hindi

102 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-31 18:53 ID:Heaven

I can't decide if >>101 is some totally hilarious joke I don't get, or just plain nonsense. Most mysterious!

103 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-31 23:18 ID:Heaven

>>102
Maybe >>101 is alluding to some apparently large number of .NET development that is outsourced to India. ("Kids in India these days speak C# rather than Hindi" or some such.)

104 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-04-01 14:20 ID:RZNxnYSP

>>103
That was kind of my idea, but it seems that I somewhat failed :(

105 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-04-04 10:22 ID:tFsKfKu2

INSTANT REVIEW : SCHEME

i'm glad KATE has 7 different colours for parentheses, the code looks just like rainbow afterwards

106 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-04-04 11:40 ID:Heaven

>>105
never seen scheme source or used kate, but I lol'd anyway

107 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-04-09 20:59 ID:dZkvOJ4k

INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
At least it's not C shells.

108 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-25 14:25 ID:Uble2l1r

Instant Review: tcl
A great way to protect your IRC chan from takeover

109 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-25 16:43 ID:TLag+LIM

INSTANT REVIEW: mIRC script
Perhaps the only "language" designed specifically to code trojans and virii.

110 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-26 20:21 ID:+CaYz4NM

INSTANT REVIEW: Haskell
Singly-linked lists are the best data type EVER!

111 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-26 21:39 ID:Heaven

>>110
In all fairness, you could describe Lisp the same way.

112 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-27 02:36 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Lisp
Just like that other language.

113 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-06 11:12 ID:fOE2L+Wy

INSTANT REVIEW: Lisp
See >>105

114 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-15 13:00 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: INSTANT REVIEW
Stack Overflow

115 Name: edsger : 2006-06-21 16:21 ID:jv578MG5

INSTANT REVIEW: C
C = (BCPL--)++

116 Name: edsger : 2006-06-21 16:29 ID:jv578MG5

INSTANT REVIEW Visual BASIC; Star BASIC
Object oriented PASCAL with added DIM statements and SUBs for that kitsch Olde Worlde feeling

117 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-28 08:25 ID:aHiB+f4E

Instant review: Python
clean and nice

Instant review: Ruby
Kawaii desu ne

Instant review: Java
Enterprise-grade, industry-standard, scalable language to meet business needs, maximize profits and convert visitors into customers

Instant review: Perl
The goggles, they do nothing!

118 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-28 08:25 ID:aHiB+f4E

>>117
Oh, boardmarkup messed with my Python review. clean and nice were between two underscores on each side each.

119 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-28 21:04 ID:Heaven

Wakabamark strikes again!

120 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-29 04:36 ID:Heaven

>>119
Who the hell is Wakabamark? (I know, I know... lurk more... but you can't expect me to know the names of everyone here.)

121 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-29 09:08 ID:T+d3rv+X

>>120
http://4-ch.net/wiki/markup

122 Name: !TgfOVovqoo : 2006-08-30 23:20 ID:cj2LDwZT

Instant review: Perl
Write only.

Instant review: Python
Easy to write concepts.

123 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-08-31 00:06 ID:Heaven

"Easy to write concepts"? What the hell does that even MEAN?

124 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-08-31 00:16 ID:TLag+LIM

That it's good for prototyping but little else?

125 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-08-31 23:11 ID:DPw5ajaq

A different view of Java, based on the rather disturbing fine print in the licensing agreements:

Don't use this code for realtime control, for weapons systems, or for
anything else that may put life or limb at hazard. It isn't man-rated,
it isn't really thing-rated, and we don't claim that it's worth a good
G*dDamn for anything at all, at all.

          -- Mike Andrews, on Java

126 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-01 18:54 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: PHP

for(;;)if(pcntl_fork())posix_kill(posix_getpid(),11);

127 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-01 21:10 ID:Heaven

>>126

>>93

128 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-08 20:19 ID:ID07H8UQ

Instant review: AutoIt
Brave little toaster

129 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-21 22:10 ID:MLPWiCNo

INSTANT REVIEW: FVWM Script

Hey, at least it makes me cool on the Gentoo forums.

130 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-24 11:41 ID:Te/fUAkP

INSTANT REVIEW: Objective-C

Oh Yeah, now we're talking! =)

INSTANT REVIEW: Objective-C 2.0

Bring on the goodness! =D

131 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-24 15:40 ID:/jW1zPYT

>>130

More like Smalltalking, am I rite?

Also your review needs some funny.

132 Name: Coo : 2006-09-25 06:14 ID:W1FRwwty

wanna try and make a os?
because if ya want to e mail me to computervirusdocter@yahoo.co.jp
ok

133 Name: Coo : 2006-09-25 06:14 ID:W1FRwwty

come
onn

134 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-25 08:54 ID:Te/fUAkP

>>131

Yeah, see >>76 =D

There was a priest, a rabbi and a monk...

135 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-25 17:56 ID:Nl5L26z8

INSTANT REVIEW: FORTRAN

Great if you want to make a super computer.

136 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-26 07:01 ID:NlnfM89W

INSTANT REVIEW: FORTRAN/COBOL

1960 just called, it wants its code back.

137 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-26 12:27 ID:HykwNBzd

INSTANT REVIEW: C

'We stopped when we got a clean compile on the following syntax:
for(;P("\n"),R--;P("|"))for(e=C;e--;P("_"+(*u++/8)%2))P("|"+(*u/4)%2);'

138 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-26 23:00 ID:syKxshv2

>>137 ("_"+(*u++/8)%2)
Is dat some addition of strings??

139 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-27 02:20 ID:Te/fUAkP

>>138
It will return either '_' or '`' as a char, or as a char cast to whatever the prototype of P accepts.
The value from '(*u++/8)%2' is either a 0 or 1, cos it is the remainder of dividing '*u++/8' by 2.
This is then added to the char value of '_'.

As to what the point of it is, I have not a clue! I would like to know what P does, if it is meant to do anything at all...

Hope this helps! (and is correct...)

INSTANT REVIEW: Perl

Now, which of the 300 hundred ways of parsing a string should I use...

140 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-27 05:26 ID:O/24EciQ

>>139
"" is a string, not character, literal. That expression adds 0 or 1 to the address of the string, producing (the address of) either "" or "".

141 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-27 05:30 ID:Heaven

Damn it. Preview post and I both fail.

142 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2006-09-27 05:44 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: D

This is what happens if you use C++ too long.

143 Name: 137 : 2006-09-27 21:57 ID:lCRvEJt4

>>139
>>140
Actually, I don't have a freakin clue what this does. I ripped it from the GNU humour pages: http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/unix-hoax.html

INSTANT REVIEW: 8052 ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE
200 lines of code, just for displaying "Hello World" on a LCD.

144 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-27 23:41 ID:8BGjPnfx

Google uses python.

145 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-28 00:48 ID:Heaven

Google, however, does not use >>144.

146 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-28 09:59 ID:Te/fUAkP

>>143
Nice :)

INSTANT REVIEW: HTML
Newbie: Yeah, I can only program in HTML...
Me: 0_o' ... go home.

147 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-01 22:03 ID:Heaven

wow >>146 you must have a big e-penis to be able to call other people newbies

148 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 05:59 ID:NlnfM89W

INSTANT REVIEW: Genetic code (DNA)
Not a real programming language, so obviously it's ultimately useless and for noobs only.

149 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 08:23 ID:Heaven

>>148 hah

150 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 10:08 ID:ebedZw17

>>148
INSTANT REVIEW: Genetic code (DNA)
God: Sup guys?
Darwin: 0_o' ... go home.

151 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 14:07 ID:Te/fUAkP

>>147
Just refering to someone who is not familiar of the differences between programming languages, scripting languages and markup languages.

>>150
God: 0_o' ... depart from me, I never knew you.

152 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 22:12 ID:Heaven

>>151

Oh yes, that is indeed a mortal sin, worthy of eternal contempt and mockery.

Christ, man, get over yourself.

153 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 23:38 ID:Heaven

>>151
so people who are new to coding don't know what they're talking about? phwoar, who woulda thunk! thank you for your instant review; it was an educational experience.

next time more funny though, please.

154 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2006-10-03 00:26 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: INSTANT REVIEWS of programming languages thread @ 4-ch

ITT we post INSTANT REVIEWS (with more funnay)

155 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-03 14:16 ID:6cv9XDiL

INSTANT REVIEW: WakabaMark
__*Bold and italic*__
**_Bold and italic_**
___God dammit___
** * EAT FLAMING DEATH! * **

>>154
There, the funniest thing I could think of. And by the way, how DO you make something bold and italic in WakabaMark? Because, I really don't know... ^_^;;

156 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-04 06:28 ID:Heaven

>>155
<b><i>like this?</b></i>
actually, you don't. you don't make text <b>bold</b> or <i>italicized</i> with wakabamark, you make it <em>emphasized</em> or <strong>strongly emphasized</strong>. combining emphasis and strong emphasis doesn't really make sense. if you want to make things bold and italicized, use html instead of wakabamark.

157 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-04 06:31 ID:Heaven

oops, i meant to use html

158 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-04 21:24 ID:XwP4lusB

Instant Review: .NET
cross-platform shmosh-platform

159 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-05 14:51 ID:F33LqDXu

INSTANT REVIEW: C

Remember back when they said C was a cross-platform language?

INSTANT REVIEW: Java

Remember back when they said Java was a cross-platform language?

160 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-08 04:14 ID:Heaven

C is a cross-platform language, dammit, unless your definition of "cross-platform language" is "a language in which it is not even possible to do something platform-specific", and that would be silly. I've written dozens of cross-platform C programs. You only have to try.

161 Name: !SrB.HArbLo : 2006-10-09 09:49 ID:aGMM1NdF

INSTANT REVIEW: HARBL

i'm in ur message boardz strokin it

162 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-09 12:31 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: >>161
2004 called, they want their meme back.

163 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-16 00:09 ID:iV+VxpwY

INSTANT REVIEW: C CODE
#INCLUDE yourhotsister.fap

164 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-16 09:19 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: FAIL
>>163

165 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-19 05:55 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Regular Expressions
Just because you can do stuff like ((((\p{L}\p{N})*((\.\p{L}\p{N})*)?):)?(\p{L}\p{N}((\.\p{L}\p{N})*)?)) doesn't mean you should.

166 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-20 20:53 ID:tdNRWfN+

INSTANT REVIEW: Haskell

We're still trying to figure out how to make it useful, but it'll be really expressive and powerful once we do.

167 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-24 17:56 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: !WAHa.06x36

He likes to pass himself off as an anonymous bbs enthusiast, but really still uses a tripcode as seen in >>1

168 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2006-11-06 00:33 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Common Lisp

The *nix of languages: full of cruft, inertia, and too many implementations.

169 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-08 19:55 ID:fVto3oD1

INSTANT REVIEW: JavaScript 2.0

Perl 6.

170 Name: !WAHa.06x36 : 2006-11-08 21:25 ID:Heaven

>>167

Try and guess how many posts I have made in this thread.

171 Name: not dag ågren!WAHa.06x36 : 2006-11-09 18:51 ID:Heaven

i think i've posted as !WAHa.06x36 at least once in this thread... i thought everyone knew his tripcode...

172 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-09 22:08 ID:Vn9wp4is

a review from someone who's in the middle of learning...

Instant Review: ASM

huh...?

173 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-09 22:48 ID:Heaven

>>172
more like "huh...? which ASM?"

i'm guessing x86, in which case my comment would be more like "OH GOD MAKE THE PAIN STOP" and also "why would anyone learn this"

174 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-10 01:26 ID:JuQczCtB

>>173
actually, that last question applies equally no matter which ASM you're talking about.

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