I'm finding that I sit in IRC channels, and being the dirty troll I am, start these stupid wars and trollfests over what languages suck.
My list of languages and why:

• Java : Who thought it was a good idea to teach an OOL to students who still don't get the jist of a procedural language? STOP TEACHING IT. NO ONE USES IT BECAUSE ITS SLOW AS HELL. Also: NULLPO!
• Ruby : The only people who seem to know this language is about 100 people in Japan, and the 4000 odd Japanophiles who are either SA Goons, or permabanned and are seeking revenge.
• Perl : The only thing that sucks about this language is the groups of Perl programmers on discussion boards/newsgroups who take a script that is, for example, 20 lines long and readable, and turn it into this clusterfuck of obfuscation and lack of new lines taking up 2 lines.
• PHP : See http://4-ch.net/code/kareha.pl/1120533289
• Python : Whitespace should never be a contributing factor to code interpretation. EVER.

DISCUSS

I wrote a lot of stuff about Java and then I deleted it. I'll just sum it up here: Java is a mediocre language for mediocre minds.

As for what you say of Perl, that's the worst part AND the best part! I'm pretty proud of this:

$a="4 '|'\n3 (|'\n( (|/.(|W-,,'\n.(/|[-'>'\n( (|/'(|W-,''\n3 (|'\n4 '|'\n";
$a=~s/(.)(.)/print $2x((ord$1)-38)/sge;

People unfamiliar with Usenet history might not get it, though.

Trolltastic list of languages that suck:

• Objective-C: An extension for C's syntax that got a real beating with the ugly stick. Full of strange punctuation like @ and [. To paraphrase somebody else, it comes frustratingly close to doing the right thing without actually doing it. It implements half a garbage collector, making memory handling even more confusing than if they had just left memory handling alone. Has named parameters for functions, which would be awesome if it meant you could give arguments out-of-order or have default values for them, but you can't do any of that. It's just method calls like any other language has, except with much, much more typing. The class library really rubs it in by sprinking the identifiers with lots of superflous words.
  Here's an example: – initWithBitmapDataPlanes:pixelsWide:pixelsHigh:bitsPerSample:samplesPerPixel:hasAlpha:isPlanar:colorSpaceName:bitmapFormat:bytesPerRow:bitsPerPixel:
• All functional languages. Every single one of them is designed by some CS professor who only wants to promote his own ideas for language design. None have any practical use, because none of the language designers have any interest in practical uses. They have a wide variety of wonderful constructs and paradigms that nobody will ever use for anything. Luckily, imperative langauges have been ripping off some of the better ideas and putting them to actual use.
• All languages designed by Nicklaus Wirth. Pascal and Modula-2 and other such nonsense. ":=" is an abomination. Luckily they're all as good as dead. Sadly, it's because Java took over from them.
• Also >>1's list is pretty much true.