WHEN I WAS (12)

1 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4407 13:21 [no]

WHEN I WAS growing up in Los Angeles, I hated going to the beach. I didn't mind it so much at sundown, when it was empty and you could wear a sweatshirt. It was daytime beach culture that scared me. All those families with their out-of-control kids and those floppy-haired surfer boys with their knee-length, Velcro-waisted Quicksilver shorts. They flaunted a sense of unchecked physical freedom that I, a late bloomer who stitched hook-rug dachshunds while my sister was out earning her varsity letter, was wholly unprepared for. I didn't even like the ocean.

2 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4408 08:57 [no]

GET:v2.0

3 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4852 09:51

When I was a young man I carried me pack
And I lived the free life of the rover.
From the Murray's green basin to the dusty outback,
Well, I waltzed my Matilda all over.
Then in 1915, my country said, "Son,
It's time you stop ramblin', there's work to be done."
So they gave me a tin hat, and they gave me a gun,
And they marched me away to the war.

And the band played "Waltzing Matilda,"
As the ship pulled away from the quay,
And amidst all the cheers, the flag waving, and tears,
We sailed off for Gallipoli.

And how well I remember that terrible day,
How our blood stained the sand and the water;
And of how in that hell that they call Suvla Bay
We were butchered like lambs at the slaughter.
Johnny Turk, he was waitin', he primed himself well;
He showered us with bullets, and he rained us with shell --
And in five minutes flat, he'd blown us all to hell,
Nearly blew us right back to Australia.

But the band played "Waltzing Matilda,"
When we stopped to bury our slain,
Well, we buried ours, and the Turks buried theirs,
Then we started all over again.

And those that were left, well, we tried to survive
In that mad world of blood, death and fire.
And for ten weary weeks I kept myself alive
Though around me the corpses piled higher.
Then a big Turkish shell knocked me arse over head,
And when I woke up in me hospital bed
And saw what it had done, well, I wished I was dead --
Never knew there was worse things than dying.

For I'll go no more "Waltzing Matilda,"
All around the green bush far and free --
To hump tents and pegs, a man needs both legs,
No more "Waltzing Matilda" for me.

So they gathered the crippled, the wounded, the maimed,
And they shipped us back home to Australia.
The armless, the legless, the blind, the insane,
Those proud wounded heroes of Suvla.
And as our ship sailed into Circular Quay,
I looked at the place where me legs used to be,
And thanked Christ there was nobody waiting for me,
To grieve, to mourn and to pity.

But the band played "Waltzing Matilda,"
As they carried us down the gangway,
But nobody cheered, they just stood and stared,
Then they turned all their faces away.

And so now every April, I sit on my porch
And I watch the parade pass before me.
And I see my old comrades, how proudly they march,
Reviving old dreams of past glory,
And the old men march slowly, all bones stiff and sore,
They're tired old heroes from a forgotten war
And the young people ask "What are they marching for?"
And I ask meself the same question.

But the band plays "Waltzing Matilda,"
And the old men still answer the call,
But as year follows year, more old men disappear
Someday, no one will march there at all.
Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda.
Who'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me?
And their ghosts may be heard as they march by the billabong,
Who'll come a-Waltzing Matilda with me?

4 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4852 12:55

ONCE A JOLLY SWAGMAN

5 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4852 19:04

ATTENTION >>1,

FACT: YOUR POST WAS FUNNY WHEN WE WERE ALL 12 LIVING IN THE SUBURBS LISTENING TO LINKIN PARK WATCHING DRAGONBALL Z DRINKING PEPSI WHILE PLAYING HALO CO-OP ON THE EASIEST SETTING DURING WHICH WE CONSUMED DORITOS AND LOOKED AT PAINTBALL GUNS ON EBAY IN INTERNET EXPLORER CONNECTED THROUGH AOL ON A 56K MODEM BEFORE HOPPING INTO OUR BALDING FATHERS' LATEST MIDLIFE-CRISIS-IMPULSE-SPONSORED JAPANESE-BUILT SUV TO HEAD TO THE MALL AND GET MORE SKATEBOARDING SHOES AND THIRD-RATE IRREGULAR LEVIS AND MOUNTAIN BIKE PARTS BEFORE HEADING HOME, VOTING DEMOCRAT AND MASTURBATING TO THE LATEST SEARS CATALOG WHILE HUFFING PAINT IN YOUR GARAGE BEFORE TALKING TO PEDOPHILES ON AIM PRETENDING TO BE WHATEVER CAMWHORE THEY'RE RANTING ABOUT ON MYSPACE WITH A MATRIX QUOTE/ANIME CHARACTER NAME/TRIPLE SIX-ASTERISK-PARENTHESES-SURROUNDED SCREENNAME BEFORE HEADING TO YOUR SUPPOSED "GOOD SCHOOL" IN THE MORNING TO BUY MORE POT TO SMOKE DURING YOUR COUNTER-STRIKE LAN PARTY WITH JIMMY AND THE REST OF HIS FRIENDS TAKING RITALIN AND ADDERALL AND PROZAC EIGHT TIMES A DAY BEFORE TAKING A CASUAL PASS AT LOCAL, STATE OR NATIONAL GOVERNMENTIAL FIGURES, LEGISLATURE, OR STRUCTURE TO APPEAR EDGY AND INTELLIGENT IN FRONT OF YOUR BUDWEISER-SNEAKING, LIMP-WRISTED, NEAR-TO-COLUMBINE SOCIOPATHIC "DEEP" FRIENDS WHO PLAY THE VICTIM WHEN THEY START LOSING ARGUEMENTS SIX DAYS BEFORE THEIR BOTCHED SUICIDE ATTEMPT SIMPLY BECAUSE SCHOOL TRAMP NUMBER TWELVE WOULDN'T GO UNDER THE BLEACHERS WITH THEM TO LET THEM GET TO SECOND BASE BEFORE THEIR THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY.

6 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4853 14:40

>>5

dude, how long did it take you to write that, assuming it's not copypasta?

mmm... pasta. Now I want some copytortelini

7 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4853 14:48

>>6
It's slightly edited pasta, so: About 25 seconds.

8 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4853 15:01

Mmm... the elitist superstructure is a good cook

9 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4853 20:31

>>8 I really think you should go back to VIP.

10 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4854 14:32

>>9 yeah! well... you're a doody head.

11 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4854 14:32

>>9 yeah! well... you're a doody head.

12 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4856 08:14

WHEN I WAS living in florida, we had these insects called love bugs that stuck to everything and died, every February. And I would say they deserve it, but I think Floridians need to stick to things and die sometimes, too.

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