You have posted about mittens on a message board, or any post on 4chan.
You hate mittens and want to die, because it's winter.
You didn't realise that Squeeks is a man(, baby)!
You have posted ITT.
You've worked so hard, and come so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter.
>>5 You suddenly realize that your best years are far behind you. Kindergarten was the highest you'd ever rise in this harsh, cruel world.
You are Squeeks
You read, enjoyed, and agreed with the content of this thread.
Nigga stole your mittens.
You end every sentence you make with desu.
you know you can't blame everything on your mother.
You realize that you'd have a brighter existence as a life gem.
You post in DQN.
You are an idoiot japanophile, and wish to do things Japan style.
Fuck this "suicide is for cowards" bullshit, IT IS HONORABLE!
You bump a shitty thread.
you realise some men give you the tingles, which you'd otherwise only expect for you to occur with women. perhaps you are homosexual but you think that's a really gay thing to be. you cannot discuss this. the pressure culminates into a destructive identity crisis. you fail to realise that feelings for men may just be part of life.
You're the only person that DOESN'T use speed mods in Bemani games, and everyone gives you shit for it.
17GET!
You bump a really old shitty thread.
You reach age 20 without having listened to all of Chopin's piano etudes.
You just finished watching the best anime in the world for the first time. kill yourself now so you dont have to endure anything less.
Your hard drive died and you lost years of irreplaceable work.
MySQL is taking forever to rename tables in your database.
You have millions of VHS porn tapes, and you are unable to find a VCR to replace your dead one. You can't get an old mold from an abandoned VCR factory either.
You realize that that on life's to-do list, many of the items are impossible due to the natural flow of time. Due to a lack of time travel, you see that what you dream of is impossible, nevermind that stuff you were told about how if you put your mind to it, you could do anything.
You forgot to brush your teeth.
You bump a really old shitty thread. AGAIN.
BECAUSE IT'S WINTER
Because you can.
Because it was there.
And you can't stop!
Because you are emo.
Because of Lucky Star.
Because I tell you to... and I'm God.
Because a stranger on the internet told you to do so.
You killed God because you saw him as arbitrary power, but now you became God, and you're just the same way, and you've lost your humanity.
You live.
Because you must in order to avoid the chinese torture techniques that the government is going to carry out on you in order to try and reveal the secrets that you have been keeping in a futuristic dystopian world ;_;
((/ テ.ㄟ) Because you (oddly enough) feel less suicidal today.
((/ デ.ㄟ) QUICK! KILL YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND!
You realize that you really AREN'T a special little snowflake.
You are wearing clothes.
You're a pedophile.
You're not a pedophile and delude yourself into thinking anyone under the age of 18 is a perfect little angle that can do no wrong and has no icky, nasty "adult" feelings.
>>44
You are this guy.
Discovering that you're not man enough for self-crucifixion.