Emergency Mittens Prove Theory of Relativity Wrong (23)

1 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4871 23:38

Abstract
========

Emergency mittens, when released, follow the laws of basic vector addition with relation to their velocity relative to some fixed point. We show that this property shows that Emergency Mittens can travel faster than light and thus that Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity is wrong.

Proof
=====

Let v be the speed at which Emergency Mittens fall upon release with relation to the navigation frame.

Let u be the speed at which you scroll DQN from the top to the bottom with relation to the navigation frame.

Corollary A: v is a positive real value.
Proof: By observation and inference, v != 0, v > 0.

Fig 1.1: A Mona

   ∧_∧
  ( ´∀`)
  (    )  ___
  | | |
  (__)_)

Thus, the speed at which Emergency Mittens fall over the Elitist Superstructure at DQN is v + u.

Assume that u is 300,000 kms, or c, thus the speed of Emergency Mittens becomes c + v, and as v > 0 by corollary A, v + c > c. Thus, Emergency Mittens may fall at above the speed of light, contradicting Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity.

Conclusion
==========

The implications of this discovery are paramount. Primarily, this ushers in a new dawn for the Elitist Superstructure. With the power of superluminal speed the Galaxy may be populated by agents of the DQN Elitist Superstructure. Also, it could become a place to have fun or just hang out. That's how chill it can be.

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