The rules are simple: plot the demise of the next poster. Then whoever posts must think up a way out of it and plot the demise of the next poster. And so on.
Ah-ha! Now that >>2 is in that barrel rushing towards Niagra Falls, I can take over the world without his continual interference!
For some reason people here believe that Iran is actually capable of producing nukes. They are not, and as such the device in the sewers is utterly harmless, saving me and all the people in my neighbourhoud up to >>133. Unfortunately, >>117 suffers from a reverse placebo effect as she totally believes what CNN tells her, and she dies from imagined radiation diseases.
>>118 checked my heartbeat and confirmed to me that I have radiocarcinemia just like the news said. It made me really scared and I coughed blood for days but then the doctor gave me a cootie shot and told me I was cured and that made me stop coughing blood.
But then the doctor turned to >>118 to check his heartbeat and found out that there was a bomb attached to his heart that is scheduled to explode in 30 seconds right before he ran out of the room. I followed him because he stole my lollipops and virginity and I wanted them back.
As >>117 rushes after the doctor to get his virginity back (good luck with that) I take a minute to get comfortable and ponder this unexpected situation. Finally I just shrug my shoulders and decide to find another docter. I really don't want to be treated by a quack who doesn't understand the difference between my pacemaker and a bomb. Intriguingly enough, the battery of the safety-device gives out just at the moment that the doctor assumed my heart would be blown to pieces. I replace it calmly with one of the spares I always carry on me for precisely this reason. At this point in time I begin to discern various small errors in >>117's story, which are mainly due to sloppiness. Yeah, >>117 should check better what he writes.
Unfortunately, it is too late for >>119 who tries with all his might to understand the internal logic in >>117's post, which is as I mentioned, slightly flawed. The massive mental effort causes an allconsuming braintumor in >>119's head, which will become fatal anytime now.
Fortunately, the tumor was benign, and easily removed, and after some brain surgery, I'm back to good health. However, because of this surgery I had to have my head shaved, and because I don't want to go around bald, I buy a fur hat, which required the killing of >>120, a helpless mink.
Sadly, the furtrapper lost his glasses and killed my sexy minx instead. This angers me so mightily that I perform a pelvic thrust of men's warehouse proportions, ripping >>121 asunder from anus to oral cavity. I guarantee it!
So here I am, walking through the forest with my girlfriend >>122, and all of a sudden this crazy little animal jumps on my back and tries to hump me! It was madness, the stupid little beast was crawling just there where I couldn't reach it with my hands and this thing going nuts on my back hurt like hell! It must have been a hilarious sight because my love just lost it, collapsing to the ground laughing so much... She also lost her breath completely but I couldn't notice because I was still thrashing about trying to get the mink of my back. Such a careless thing, why didn't I look back?
When I finally got rid of it (I decided to just fall on my back, that was enough but too bad for the mink) I found the lifeless body of my love, I found it on the forest path. I Shook her, softly at first, then more violently, I had to wake her, I just had to. Called her name in despair, my throat constricting with an unacceptable premonition. Insulting her so fantastically to get at least a reaction, blind with tears. Confessing my heartfelt love to her, yet no response, how could she have responded anyway? Dizzy, that dragging, nauseous disorientation, I can't bear to think back. So terrible, catastrophical, no one to help. No one, I lost.
I just ran. I ran away.
THIS IS ALL THE SAME PERSON!
Sadly the attemot to induce my suicide failed. But alas this might not last, as with poster >>123 harakiri is committed.
>>123 does not specify whom he pushed to commit harakiri, but it certainly wasn't me.
I should congratulate >>122 for being the most deadly commenter here: By means of attacking the very essence of this thread, he put at risk the continuing force here. Since every commenter acknowledges both the previous poster, and gives footing to the next, >>122's charge to the footing of all subsequent posters was a near fatal move. Not totally fatal though, thanks to me.
By the way, I am a Canadian Inuit with a club, it is hunting season, and >>125 is a baby seal that's just asking for it.
Fortunately >>124 realizes his error and reminds himself that, as we all well know, the warranty will be void if the seal if broken, and decides to leave me alone.
As I grow up I come across a lost russian atomic submarine and with some aid from the radioactive leak I mutate into the horrible SLOBGOBBLER. Swimming faster than the golf stream I swiftly descend upon the slob >>126 as he comes down to the beach for volleyball practice.
The hobo immediately blows the money on liquor, after which he expires of an alcohol overdose, so I am safe. However, while investigating the dead body for his own foul purposes, >>128 slips and falls on the shards of the broken vodka bottles, opening an artery and bleeding to death.
>>129 spots me, while driving to a cult meeting, and provides me with some bandages from the first aid kit, kept in the trunk, to stop the bleeding. I tell >>129 that I don't need any help getting to a hospital. After all, who am I to stop >>129 from attending the cult's final meeting (mass suicide)?
>>130 is a member of a cult-intervention group, which ties me to a chair beats me senseless until I agree to quit the suicide cult. However, at the exact moment I drive home to my comfy apartment, angry cult members burst in with bombs strapped to their chests, yell something like, "Durka!!" and explode, while beating >>130 senseless..
the cultmembers who were in the process of beating me senseless got carried away with me and forgot to detonate. The other cult members first tried to make contact, in order to have everyone detonate synchronically, but as high as they were on their excitement to finally achieve a goal (the first in ages, probably) they soon lost interest and had their own little countdown. Having the ignorant culties stand around me (beating me) was suddenly extremely useful as their bodies shielded me from the harmfull explosions, although I'm sorry to say that they did not come out of that comfy apartment alive.
>>131s penis is microscopical. As a hikkikomori he never goes outside his basement and he is master of bottling. His grades in primary school were never outstanding and his academic performance has been average ever since. As he secluded himself ever more from society, his influence over it has diminished from barely nothing to totally zilch. >>131 Does not want to share his opinion and that's why he adds comments to hundreds of stupid forums all day, as long as they have topics about mimiru-chan in it, so he can confess his love for akane-sama there. (Akane-sama is the eternal enemy of mimiru-chan, just so you know.) Noone cares about >>131 and he can't even masturbate.
While I continue to marginalize >>131's existence to nothing, I give him the opportunity for a last, insignificant squeek. Then, as his significance approximates zero, we will declare him dead.
As it turns out, the cause of my "Hikikomori-ism" was in fact depression, and my parents decided it would be appropriate to take me to a psychiatrist, who prescribed me some medication, and within weeks I became much less withdrawn, and before I knew it, I had started going to university.
Unfortunately for my online friend, >>132, my disappearance from the internet stopped providing him with the only support that kept him going, as we had so much in common. Eventually, he made the news as he committed suicide by jumping off the platform right in front of a passenger train.