The rules are simple: plot the demise of the next poster. Then whoever posts must think up a way out of it and plot the demise of the next poster. And so on.
Ah-ha! Now that >>2 is in that barrel rushing towards Niagra Falls, I can take over the world without his continual interference!
THIS IS ALL THE SAME PERSON!
Sadly the attemot to induce my suicide failed. But alas this might not last, as with poster >>123 harakiri is committed.
>>123 does not specify whom he pushed to commit harakiri, but it certainly wasn't me.
I should congratulate >>122 for being the most deadly commenter here: By means of attacking the very essence of this thread, he put at risk the continuing force here. Since every commenter acknowledges both the previous poster, and gives footing to the next, >>122's charge to the footing of all subsequent posters was a near fatal move. Not totally fatal though, thanks to me.
By the way, I am a Canadian Inuit with a club, it is hunting season, and >>125 is a baby seal that's just asking for it.
Fortunately >>124 realizes his error and reminds himself that, as we all well know, the warranty will be void if the seal if broken, and decides to leave me alone.
As I grow up I come across a lost russian atomic submarine and with some aid from the radioactive leak I mutate into the horrible SLOBGOBBLER. Swimming faster than the golf stream I swiftly descend upon the slob >>126 as he comes down to the beach for volleyball practice.
The hobo immediately blows the money on liquor, after which he expires of an alcohol overdose, so I am safe. However, while investigating the dead body for his own foul purposes, >>128 slips and falls on the shards of the broken vodka bottles, opening an artery and bleeding to death.
>>129 spots me, while driving to a cult meeting, and provides me with some bandages from the first aid kit, kept in the trunk, to stop the bleeding. I tell >>129 that I don't need any help getting to a hospital. After all, who am I to stop >>129 from attending the cult's final meeting (mass suicide)?
>>130 is a member of a cult-intervention group, which ties me to a chair beats me senseless until I agree to quit the suicide cult. However, at the exact moment I drive home to my comfy apartment, angry cult members burst in with bombs strapped to their chests, yell something like, "Durka!!" and explode, while beating >>130 senseless..
the cultmembers who were in the process of beating me senseless got carried away with me and forgot to detonate. The other cult members first tried to make contact, in order to have everyone detonate synchronically, but as high as they were on their excitement to finally achieve a goal (the first in ages, probably) they soon lost interest and had their own little countdown. Having the ignorant culties stand around me (beating me) was suddenly extremely useful as their bodies shielded me from the harmfull explosions, although I'm sorry to say that they did not come out of that comfy apartment alive.
>>131s penis is microscopical. As a hikkikomori he never goes outside his basement and he is master of bottling. His grades in primary school were never outstanding and his academic performance has been average ever since. As he secluded himself ever more from society, his influence over it has diminished from barely nothing to totally zilch. >>131 Does not want to share his opinion and that's why he adds comments to hundreds of stupid forums all day, as long as they have topics about mimiru-chan in it, so he can confess his love for akane-sama there. (Akane-sama is the eternal enemy of mimiru-chan, just so you know.) Noone cares about >>131 and he can't even masturbate.
While I continue to marginalize >>131's existence to nothing, I give him the opportunity for a last, insignificant squeek. Then, as his significance approximates zero, we will declare him dead.
As it turns out, the cause of my "Hikikomori-ism" was in fact depression, and my parents decided it would be appropriate to take me to a psychiatrist, who prescribed me some medication, and within weeks I became much less withdrawn, and before I knew it, I had started going to university.
Unfortunately for my online friend, >>132, my disappearance from the internet stopped providing him with the only support that kept him going, as we had so much in common. Eventually, he made the news as he committed suicide by jumping off the platform right in front of a passenger train.
However, I really didnt die, I just became a spirit detective, and I am now currently on the path of the demon >>133 , who will surely persih by my blade.
I don't know exactly how to explain this, but as I was captured by the minions, >One of them stuck a pitchfork so far up my rear end that the pointed end came out of their mouth, ending their pitiful life.
And so they all died. An evil twist of misguided literary fervor, perhaps, although that pitchfork hurt like hell.
For some reason, >>133 thought I was the sidekick, whereas I am actually far stronger than my unfortunate partner >>132. Right now, I am out for revenge, >>133=>>135 wil surely die from my Deathonizer 3000XLM UltraPlus. (I can easily put it away under my bed when I'm not using it!)
Luckliy for me , >>134's Deathonizer 3000XLM UltraPlus was both made in china and used nonsuperior parts, and got REALLY grody by all the tissue and porn they kept under their bed as well, so when they fire it, it doesnt work one bit.
However, Nothing beats a good Home made microwave atomic bomb, which is set to go off at >>>136's house as soon as they use their microwave.
136: "Hey, honey, I'm coming home!"
LOVE WIFE: "136 should I put the steak in the microwave like usual?"
136: "Yup, set it for 30 minutes because that's how far away I am!"
LOVE WIFE: "ok" BOOOOOM
OH NO WHO IS BEHIND THIS PLOT! It must be >>137 trying to destroy my life! I'll slit his throat in his sleep.
(yes this post sucks ass. I usually write a lot better than this but i'm out of it today)
Luckily, I dont sleep lightly, and seeing that >>136 is "out of it", I easily escape his attempt.
Thank goodness I lived another day, I will soon get my revenge on >>138, who Killed my father ten years ago in a sword match before my very eyes.
I have honed my skill for those years, and now, it is time for me to get my revenge.
With a sword? Oh fuck no, theres far too much of a change of failure with that, I've been practicing shooting with a sniper rife, I hit him right in the head with a bullet from the rooftop of the building across from the chinese food restaurant which is a front for his cartel.
DAMNIT!!! now I need a new double! You little scum, I killed youw fathel 10 yeaws ago and now you want wevenge? come and get it, punk!
I owdel my loyal minions to suwwound the looftop on which >>137 is luwking, and let them have fun emptying theiw guns again and again to intimidate him. Unfoltunately, the sweet little clalk >>139 wolking thewe getted lipped to shweds. Oh well, that's life, isn't it?
We gotted him good aftewwalds, that bastald SOB >>137. He's "swimming with the concrete" light now...
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heh. hehehe.