Part of me wishes my grandparents would die. Not because I hate them, but because of how much I care for them.

I desperately wanna go somewhere away from my family so that I never have to see any of them again, but I worry about my grandparents. They'd be crushed, and I just can't stand the thought of them suffering because of me.

But it can't be helped because even if I didn't have my conscience to worry about, I still don't have the resources to move out.